Weigh In # 6 (2013)

The alternate titles to this post were: "Weight Up, Spirits Down" and "Wake Up Call."

Yep.  My weight today was around 189 and in the past few days has fluctuated between 188 and 191.

Blech.

Enough.

Yesterday I tried on a couple pairs of pants at the mall and I was absolutely appalled at how I looked in the big dressing room mirrors.  I look . . . big.  I don't think I'd realized how bad it had gotten.  But I look awful.  And I feel like shit too.

I find this all so freaking frustrating.  I have accomplished so many other things but this--physical fitness, weight loss, etc--is the thing I just can't seem to do.  I don't get this about myself.  I don't get why it's so damn difficult for me.  And it's worse because I was doing well, or at least better than I had been, until that whole thyroid thing happened.  I really feel like that was the start of this little downward spiral.  I was so exhausted all the time that I started drinking more Dr. Pepper and I couldn't exercise and it just . . . went from there.

It's really the diet part I have issues with.  Sometimes it's difficult to get the momentum to go work out but once I'm doing it, I enjoy it.  But the diet part . . . that's where I get hung up.  It's just so hard to not eat fast food.

So I decided no more.  It's time to buckle down and get serious about this.  For real.  Today I went grocery shopping and focused on healthier foods.  My goals this week are to not eat out, reduce Dr. Pepper (I refuse to just cold turkey quit soda . . . I'm not going to put myself or the people who have to deal with me on a daily basis through that because it would not be pretty), and work out as much as I can.

I didn't do well on food today, but I did go running.  There's a pond near our house with ducks and stuff, so I jogged while Jerbs walked Max and fed the ducks.  It was hard but it felt good at the same time, and I'm hoping to do it again tomorrow.

My determination feels a little renewed.  I feel like I've kind of snapped out of that funk I was in during the thyroid thing, both mentally and physically.  I'm not stepping on the scale again for another two weeks and hopefully I'll see results.