So This Happened

So Wednesday.  July 3rd.  I'm sitting at my desk at work.  Late in the afternoon, almost time to go home, bored out of my mind because all my work was finished.  I hear my phone vibrate in my desk and since I'm so bored I decide to check it and see who texted me.

And it's Ex-Fiance, texting me something about how when the rental company in Kingman gave him a check for the security deposit on our old house, they put both our names on it, and would I be willing to go with him to cash it.  I didn't text him back because I was a little . . . I don't know, surprised.  It threw me to see his number on my phone because it's been almost a year since I heard from him and now this when I was totally and completely not expecting it.  I assumed he meant he'd be in town at some future date--like next week, maybe--and he wanted me to go with him then.

So then I go home and to my surprise, he's here.  At my house, hanging out with Jerbs like it's no big fucking deal, like he has every right to just show up unannounced because he needs a favor, like "and I'm at your house waiting for you so we can do it now" wouldn't have been pertinent information to include in the text he sent me.  I was too surprised to be mad at the time but in retrospect . . . yeah, I'm a little pissed off.

He was here for a couple hours.  We tried to do the check thing, which didn't work out, which unfortunately means that I still have to be involved in this bullshit, but whatever.  We had dinner, with Jerbs, not just us, and then he left, for Chinle, which is where he moved to after the school year ended.  I wasn't really surprised to know that.  We talked about a lot of nothing.  And it was weird and it was awkward and I'm still kind of processing that this even happened.

We never talked about us, and one of the weirdest and most uncomfortable things I've ever done in my life was to sit across from him chatting like friends and pretending that was all there'd ever been between us.  That we'd never lived together or planned a life together or . . . anything else.  It hurt.  But at the same time it didn't.  I don't know . . . I think most of what's come to mind since this little visit is meant for private journaling but I wanted to vent some of it to the universe, I suppose.

It was just such a bizarre and confusing experience.  I hadn't really been thinking about him much and this brought back a lot of things, and the end result is not what I'd have expected.  Suffice it to say that since he left I've just kind of had a lot on my mind.