The Temp Doctor

I have come to the conclusion that there are two things in this world that I just seem to attract like a magnet: people driving the speed limit in the left hand lane of the highway, and crazy doctors.

Yesterday was my first (and only) appointment with my temporary psychiatrist.  He practices out of the same office as my old doctor, and he was basically a "bridge" doctor.  Dr. Wright didn't refill any of my medications in August, and I'm eventually going to start seeing Dr. Boyle, who's joining the practice in October.  But that left a gap so I saw Dr. F.  We'll call him that both because his last name starts with an F and because it's the letter grade I'd give him based on my visit.

It was just an odd, odd experience.  He talked a lot and most of what he said I disagreed with or felt like it had absolutely zero relevance to me.  For example, when I talked about having been in a relationship with Jerbs, Dr. F went off on a ridiculously long tangent about how women can never be emotionally fulfilled by men because men are literally incapable of listening and connecting emotionally women; according to Dr. F women only marry men in order to have children but that in doing so, they sacrifice ever being emotionally fulfilled.  He said that biologically speaking women have to have close female friends and that his marriage has been successful because his wife is "permitted" to have her girlfriends.  He said the stone ages were easier when men went off together and hunted and women banded together to raise the kids.

I pointed out that I have no desire for kids and he reassured me that was just because of my past.  Mmmk.

He also said that my and Jerbs' breakup was completely my fault and that I need a man who's older than me, not younger like Corey is.  He also kind of insinuated a couple times that Corey used my "past" against me, and I found myself coming to Corey's defense because that is just the farthest thing from the truth.  And defending my ex wasn't something I expected to be doing during this whole thing.

It was very frustrating.  I left feeling . . . offended.  Almost violated in a way.  My next appointment will be with Dr. Boyle, but it hasn't been scheduled yet.  It just felt like a waste of time to see Dr. F at all because I'm pretty sure I still had a Li refill from Dr. Wright.  Waste of time and money.

I know that some of the way I felt about it was me, too.  I had to tell him my whole story, from the beginning.  All the hard, painful, yucky details.  And even though I don't mind telling people I'm bipolar and talking about recovery in general terms, I don't really like talking about.  I want to take my 5 pills a day and completely forget that I'm bipolar past that.  So of course rehashing it was sucky.  (And I'll get to do it again in a month or so with the new doctor!  Yay!)

I'm just glad it's over and done with.  And glad that I don't have to go back to Dr. F.