Weigh In # 9 (2013)

Weight: 195.8
BMI: 34.7

I really don't want to talk about August, actually.  It wasn't a great month.  I don't have any real excuses, either; the absolute fact is that I just didn't feel like working out or eating right.  I wanted the food I always eat and I didn't want to go running or whatever.  It sucked.  I honestly don't know how to motivate myself anymore.

I keep hoping and hoping at the start of every month that this stuff will finally just *click*.  Because at this point I think that's what needs to happen.  So far nothing that I've tried as far as motivating myself has really worked so I think I just need to hit rock bottom and then something will just click.

A little while ago I cleaned out my purse and dug out all of the fast food/restaurant receipts I'd accumulated for the month of August.  I didn't have every receipt from every fast food trip in there; some I know I've thrown out at work, some are probably in my car, and some have been tossed out with the bags the food came in.  But I sat down and I added them up, and the total (and keep in mind that this is only most of it, not all of it) was $355.25

Ummmm . . . yeah, I don't think I even need to put into writing why that is disgusting/unacceptable/shameful/destructive/counter productive.  That's more than my car payment and car insurance payment combined.  It's about the amount of those two things plus a tank of gas, actually.

I'm destroying my body and my bank account simultaneously by doing this month after month.

Seeing that number was a wake up call.  I mean, obviously I knew I was over spending on this crap but . . . I didn't really realize it was that bad.

So this month, I'm going to go grocery shopping every week, and maybe do a little menu planning (I don't cook so I don't really see the point of menu planning).  I'm also going to (obviously) work out as much as possible.  One thing I realized in August is that going to the gym on my lunch break works pretty well for me, because I get in a good work out and then don't have to worry about it once I get home, plus it means I'm actually tired by bed time, which is nice.

Hopefully this is my month.  I'm definitely going to try my best to make it my month.