Win: Today at work I joined the gym! I'm so freaking excited about it I can't even tell you. Plus I most def got a little bit of the VIP treatment because of where I work . . . I seriously love my job. I had my workout stuff with me too, so I could get started after work.
Fail: Going to change at the gym and discovering that the black sports bra I'd thrown into my bag was, in fact, a pair of black panties that were apparently mixed in with my sports bras. So I didn't get my after work work out in and I was really, really disappointed. Sigh. I swear to God sometimes I just amaze myself! But it's a funny story and there's always tomorrow (I already made sure to put the correct under garment in my gym bag).
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Since I started my getting better journey, I've noticed some positive changes in myself. Some are really obvious--like that I don't want to kill myself anymore and I don't scream and yell and throw things every other day. Some, though, are less obvious and only occur to me when they pop up.
For example, I've noticed that my old door mat tendencies have gone away, and I'm no longer afraid to stand up for myself. I've stopped backing down from my opinions to make other people happy and avoid confrontation. I mean, obviously I'm not going around picking arguments with people, I just . . . I stand my ground now.
My bed was supposed to be delivered today. They were supposed to call me before they brought it (and then I was supposed to call Jerbs since she was the one home), but I never heard from them, and by the time I was on the bus home at almost 6 PM my bed still wasn't here. So I called and the girl basically said she'd meant to call me and let me know that they were going to have to move my delivery to tomorrow.
I told her that no one would be home tomorrow and that that was why I'd asked for Tuesday. She told me the bed wasn't ready; I told her they could deliver it on Thursday. I also told her--firmly--that I was told Tuesday, and that if I had to wait, I would expect a refund of the delivery fee. She said she'd see what she could do, I heard back from her a few minutes later, and the end of the story is that my bed is here and I'll be sleeping in it tonight.
I was so proud of myself. Old me would have accepted a later delivery and then cried about it but instead, I stood up for myself. I held this company accountable for what the services they'd promised. I'm not mad at them or anything, but at the same time I most definitely wanted to make sure they held up their end. I mean, I gave them my business and my money, and I wanted what I'd paid for. I think this is another change in my way of thinking: knowing the difference (both emotionally and otherwise) of being mad at/hating someone/being offended by someone, and holding them accountable/expecting them to do their jobs. Like when someone tells me I did something wrong at work, I don't end up thinking they totally hate me or whatever, and I don't take it personally--I just fix what I did wrong, remember to do it right the next time around, and remind myself that I'm still learning. And at the end of the day I still like all my co-workers. And by the same token, I know that if I ask someone to do something or suggest something to them, they aren't mad at me for doing so. Does that make sense?
Anyway, there are more ways I've stood up for myself recently, and it's a good feeling. A good good feeling.
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