My doctor's office called today and left a voicemail saying that they never got a refill request. So either they're lying or the guy I talked to at my pharmacy is a moron. Honestly, based on my experience, I'd say that neither is outside the realm of possibility. I did 5 more refill requests online, which I'm sure will annoy the hell out of the pharmacy, but I'm a little bit done with this crap so they can deal.
So if the issue is that the office never got the request, and if it went through today, I should have my medicine by Saturday, or Sunday at the latest. I'm hoping for the best case scenario. Like really, really hoping, because I feel awful.
This is what a week + off my a/d means:
--not sleeping well and vivid, vivid dreams
--hot flashes all.day.long
--random breathlessness
--feelings of intense awkwardness . . . seriously, today at work I felt like a little kid trying to talk to grown ups
--feeling flustered/flushed, especially during conversations
--talking louder/faster than usual
--y'know how your head feels after a long, intense cry? physically clogged and emotionally empty? yeah, that . . . all.effing.day
--random flashes of the worst kind of anxiety--this burning, all encompassing flash of pure panic that literally makes me feel like I might collapse . . . fortunately, it only lasts a few seconds or minutes right now, and I've not had any full anxiety attacks yet
Yeah. Lame. It sucks. I just . . . I can't believe I used to live like this.
Anyway, Jerbs is going out of town tomorrow, to visit B and her husband in Phoenix, and I'm a wreck about it. Normally, I don't mind her leaving--I'm happy she gets to take a little vacation and I like my alone time . . . but I'd rather not be alone when I'm like this. I'm sure I'll be fine, but still.
This whole thing is just so damn frustrating. I'm angry that my ability to lead a normal life is so incredibly contingent on other people doing their jobs correctly. Something about that is just so daunting. I'll most likely need these medications the rest of my life, which I'm fine with, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life dealing with the up and down BS that come from someone else's fuck ups. It makes me feel kind of helpless, and I hate that.
So hopefully this will be resolved quickly, and I'll be able to get back on track. The good thing with the a/d's is that they get back into your system fairly fast, so it won't take long to feel better. And if it doesn't get resolved quickly I'm prepared to fight harder.
***EDIT: It just occurred to me . . . the prescription I requested a refill on was written by my old doctor, who is now practicing in Arkansas. And now I'm wondering . . . if the pharmacy has his dems updated to his new practice, then maybe my request went there. Which would explain the denial--because he's not my provider anymore--and the fact that the office here never got it. Naturally by the time I thought of this the pharmacy was already closed but I'll definitely have to look into it tomorrow. I'm so relieved to have possibly found the explanation for all this!
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