Deep Breaths

Sometimes . . . I start to feel really overwhelmed and scattered.  Just by life in general.

I always seem to have a lot on my mind these days.  I have a lot of things I want and need to do and I just can't seem to find the time to get to all of them, and it bothers me.  A lot.  And then as I don't get to things and they kind of pile up in my head, that's when the overwhelmed/scattered feelings start.  I don't like it.  I get to a point where I feel like I'm just kind of letting my life pass me by and as it does, all I do is work, sleep, and eat.

This feeling gets especially strong late Saturday night.  That's when the holy-shit-the-weekend's-almost-over kind of stuff kicks in.

When it comes to my weekends Sundays are pretty much reserved for laundry, house cleaning, grocery shopping, and other errand type stuff.  Chores, basically.  So fun stuff that I want to do, like writing and sewing and stuff, get done on Friday and Saturday.  And the time just seems to FLY by and before I know it, it's time to go back to work and I feel like I've wasted a weekend doing . . . not much.

I think a lot of it is the M-F schedule.  I've never had a job like that till MHC and even though I'm incredibly happy there, it's a little tough.  I've been there 9 months now and in that time every single one of my co-workers has taken at least one vacation of a week or more.  I'm thinking I need to do something like that soon.  I don't really know how much PTO I have but . . . definitely something to think about.

I also need to talk to my doctor (or A doctor, since I don't technically have a doctor at the moment) about the potential for thyroid issues, because I still have problems that could be associated with that.  I never have any energy and I sleep far more than I should on weekends; I wake up with headaches pretty frequently these days and I'm tired 90% of the time.  It's endlessly frustrating.  I'd be willing to bet actual money that my thyroid's screwed up--maybe just very very borderline but still--and that treatment for that would be helpful, but until my blood tests actually say something really definitively negative, it's not going to happen.  Sigh.

Anyway, right now I'm taking deep breaths and reminding myself that there really are no deadlines in everyday life, so I'll get to all the things I want to do when I do.  And that whatever physical problems I might be having will eventually get treated, because it'll eventually show up on some test or I'll find a more lenient doctor.

Deep.  Breaths.