Mostly the petty arguing. There are only 5 people in my family (5 adults, I'm not counting Austin) and we all have quick tempers. Sometimes we all just get a little snippy with one another, and I think I'm just not used to it anymore since I don't live it everyday, y'know? But still, I had a good time, and I was happy to see everyone.
On Monday, I had to work, which royally sucked. I went in early and took a short lunch and was able to leave a little early. Then I came home and had to give Benji a bath and get the car all loaded up and all that, so we ended up leaving later than intended. We got to Kingman around 9 PM, I believe. Hung out with my mom and Jill and Austin, went to Jerbs' house and gave her parents their gifts, hung out with Austin some more, etc. (OMG, Max was SO excited to see Austin! He completely flipped his shit, it was hilarious). After Austin went to bed I was so ready to crash, but my sister made me stay up and wrap Santa gifts with her. (I am awesome at gift wrapping, her . . . not so much). It was fun, though. It's kind of cool to share these experiences as adults, if that makes sense--helping her play Santa for her kids when we used to wait up for Santa together. It's a sentimental full circle thing, I suppose.
Then I went to bed, and on Christmas Eve, we did some shopping and just kind of hung out at my sister's house. That evening the whole family went out to look at Christmas lights. We all managed to fit in my car--my dad was a trooper and sat in "the hatch"--and it was fun. There are always some really good light displays in Kingman.
After that we went back to my sister's and we all got to open one gift (Christmas Eve tradition). Austin chose the big gift I brought him, which was the blanket I made him in a box. This is when things started going downhill, because he was visibly disappointed that it was a blanket and not a big fancy toy. Like, his face fell. It was upsetting. Not necessarily because it hurt my feelings, which is whatever, but because it's sad to see how spoiled he is and how rude he is sometimes. I mean, I know he's only 5 but still. A little disheartening.
After he was in bed my sisters and I put out all the Santa gifts and I made it look like Santa ate his cookies and all that, and I wrote Austin's Santa letter. When I was a kid, every Christmas, "Santa" left my sisters and I a note, basically thanking us for the cookies and reindeer treats and telling us to keep being good, etc. I love writing the ones for Austin, because my hope is that someday, when he's older and knows that I wrote them, he'll re-read them and hear things I wanted to say to him, if that makes sense.
Man, that kid got spoiled for Christmas. He got a 32 inch TV and an internet tablet. I just . . . I don't even really know how to say. I didn't really enjoy watching him on Christmas morning. He just tore through everything in like 15 minutes, and just . . . I don't know. To me, a flat screen TV and a tablet are 110% unnecessary for a freaking 5 year old. I don't like it. I understand that my sister has money, and we didn't growing up, and I'm sure she also feels guilty about being a single mom who works a lot or whatever, but still. I feel like when we were kids there was a much deeper meaning to Christmas. We weren't a religious family, and we always got presents from Santa, but we were also always taught that Christmas was a time to be with family and love each other and be grateful for what we had. And to give as well, because I remember always giving donations to the food bank at Christmas time and taking kids' names off the angel trees. Austin's getting none of that. No gratitude, no family appreciation, no giving spirit, just be marginally well behaved and get shit loads of expensive toys. It's depressing, and I don't agree with how he's being brought up.
But that's just me. I'm not his mother. And he is a good kid, but still, it all seemed like overkill.
He did like the Santa letter, though, and hopefully, someday, that'll mean something to him.
After the super quick gift opening, I went back to bed in my sister's room, because I was exhausted and it was early and I had to drive back to Flag that night. I think my sisters were a little annoyed with me but I wasn't going to risk crashing my car on the way home!
My parents came over later in the afternoon, after my dad was off work, and we exchanged gifts. I was surprised because one sister got me the nail lamp I wanted, and my mom and other sister got me this personalized pen that has my name on it and came in a case engraved with a quote I like. My family all liked their gifts as well, which is always nice.
Austin cried when I had to leave, which is always heartbreaking, but at the same time, I hope it taught him something. He ignored me all day for his new toys and I kept telling him I'd be leaving soon and he shrugged it off, but once I was actually getting in the car he started bawling. I hate to see him cry, but like I said, maybe this time it was a little bit of a lesson. I picked up Jerbs and said good bye to her parents, and then we gassed up the car (for a LOT cheaper than here in Flag!) and headed home.
It was nice to get home. Not nice to be away from my family, but nice to climb into my own bed and just relax. I'm a homebody, and I like being in my own space.
Needless to say, I didn't want to go to work today. At all. Going to Kingman always leaves me in a little bit of a funk. Not in a good way or a bad way, just . . . a funk. So I was a little off all day long.
But. All in all I'd say this year was better than last year. It was nice to be able to drive to Kingman and do the trip on my own terms, as opposed to last year with all the Greyhound drama. It was nice to be able to actually give my family presents, because I actually have a job this year. It was nice that Jerbs got to come, because she hasn't been home for Christmas in years.
And weirdly, one of the best things was that Benji was there. I remember freaking out last Christmas about going home on the bus because I couldn't bring Benji, because I was totally convinced it was going to be his last Christmas, and I wanted to spend it with him. I'm glad I was wrong, and this Christmas, I held him a lot and my family all held him, and it was nice. I'm grateful that I got that. I'm certain that this Christmas really was his last, and I've struggled with that a lot the past few days. But that's for another post.
Goodnight!
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