I Want To Grow Old With Someone

Just something that's been on my mind the past few days.

To me, the concept of being married really did mean for the rest of my life.  And I didn't doubt that once Corey and I were married we would be together for the rest of our lives.

And I really did used to imagine (and still do imagine sometimes) what it would be like to grow old together. I wondered what we'd look like as we aged and I wondered who we'd become with each other, and I looked forward to that.  Knowing that I had that with someone was one of my favorite things about being in a relationship--even when it wasn't so great, I believed we had a future.

When I worked at the walk in clinic there was an elderly couple (in their late '70's) who came in just about every week to see one of our doctors.  They'd been married for almost 60 years, and they were just a very nice couple.  I loved seeing them every week and since they always came in on my days, we got to know each other well.

I loved seeing them together, because you could tell they were just still in love with each other even after all that time together.  He still always opened the door for her and made sure she got whatever she needed first; she was a few years older than him but since his health was poorer, she still worked to support them both.  (She finally retired not long before I was fired, thank goodness).  There was just something in the way they looked at each other that told you they'd really spent a life together.  I remember seeing them together and thinking, if I ever find that with someone, I'll get married, but if I can't have that, I don't want anything.

More than a year ago now, I found her obituary in the Flagstaff newspaper.  I actually cried, both because I liked her and because I thought of him and how lost he'd be without her.  I still check now and then to see if his is in there, because I can't imagine him holding on for very long without her.

Something made me think of them today.  Even now I'm still kind of amazed by them, because they had issues in their life--health problems for one thing, plus her still having to work at almost 80 (she never hid that it was difficult for her, and he always told her he was grateful)--but they were still in love.  And it makes me think of how few the problems Corey and I had were, and how if we'd just tried a little harder and not let petty BS come between us things might have worked out.

Hopefully someday . . .

But for now, rest in peace, Mrs. M.  And Mr. M, I hope you're doing all right.