Coming Down

I haven't had a good couple days.  In fact I've been pretty fucking miserable.  

I think when I got to Flagstaff it was new and there were fun elements of it and so I was on a little bit of a high, and I'm definitely coming down now.  I feel almost EXACTLY like I did two and a half years ago when I was in Flagstaff and before I met Corey.  Only now it's worse, because I'm going through a break up as well, and at least back then I had a car and my own room.  Oh, and I made about triple on unemployment what I'm making at this Hastings so there's that.

I try not to get down but I'm not happy.

I hate taking the bus.  I hate it because of all the walking it involves, and it's all uphill--I wake up every single morning sore as fuck and I think at this point I'm getting shin splints.  Yay!  Plus I have to plan everything on someone else's schedule--I can't just say, I feel like doing this or that, and leave.  I fucking HATE it.  I never realized how much having a car was tied to my identity and sense of freedom.  Plus grocery shopping is a nightmare because we can't buy anything heavy, because we have to carry it home on the bus.

I hate sleeping on an air bed.  It blows.  I have to reinflate it every few hours thanks to Jenny's cats (which I don't actually hold against her or them, it's just stupid to have to do that), and the parts of my body that don't get sore walking get sore from sleeping on something inflated.

I hate sharing a room.  I mean, yes, I shared a room with Corey but that was different so it's weird.  I have trouble sleeping with Jerbs in the room.

I hate the Hastings here.  My moronic dick of a boss decided that he doesn't need to pay attention to my availability when he schedules me, so Friday and Saturday night I work until 10:30 PM.  The last bus is at 8:30 PM on Friday and like 6:30 on Saturday.  So I get to spend $40 ($20/night) on cab fare to get home, because no one'll cover my shifts or trade with me.  And I get paid tomorrow but given that corporate dragged their feet with my transfer I lost 2 weeks of work, and I got a shift cut during the one week I did work this pay period.  So I'll be lucky if my check is $60.  So yeah.  I'll have about $20 to last me two weeks.  Yay!!  I'm really fucking glad I don't have bills or anything, y'know.

I hate not being able to work out as much.  Yeah I walk all the time but my AF membership is basically being wasted, because I just can't drag myself to do it.

So yeah.  There's more I'm sure but I don't feel like writing anymore . . . I'm fucking exhausted.