Two Years

Today it's been two years since Ex-Fiance and I "met."

I say "met" because we were actually introduced back in October of 2009, but then we didn't speak to one another again until August 12, 2010.  (Yes, I know the exact date.  I am one of those girls).

So naturally knowing this is giving me some anxiety.  This isn't really an anniversary we celebrate but we acknowledged it last year.  And this year it's difficult because we're in separate cities, not speaking . . . it sucks.

I can't tell you how many times in the last two years I've thought back to that random chance encounter (at WalMart, of all places!) and just been amazed that something so insignificant was the beginning of the rest of my life.

I wonder if Ex-Fiance remembers?  (He might, he's actually pretty good with anniversaries).

There's just kind of this thought in my head that missing this anniversary together this year is somehow a bad omen.  Like we're wasting time, almost.  Like it won't end up working out between us.  But I tell myself that there'll be an August 12th next year too, and that just because we miss this this year doesn't mean anything.  It's all just part of our story--which hopefully has a beautiful ending up the road.

Sometimes I feel so stupid for thinking it might still work out.  Because . . . well, from Ex-Fiance's end it really seems like it won't.

And in about a week it'll be the two year anniversary of our first date (which was the best first date EVER).  And September 20th marks two years of being officially together.  So our real anniversary.  I expect that one'll be hard.

So Ex-Fiance, if you're reading this, please know that I love you very much.  I still think that night two years ago was the start of our forever, and I hope so much that you feel the same way.  I hope someday this stupid being apart crap will just be a memory and that we'll be happy together.