This past weekend (3 day Labor Day weekend woohoo!) I made the trip to SLC for Theresa and Jenna's joint bridal shower. I went by myself, and holy hell, that drive is ridiculous. By the time I got home I was pretty much dead on my feet. It didn't help that I didn't sleep well at all last week, that I had to go to urgent care Friday morning, aka the morning I left (long story), that I had to stay later than anticipated at work the day I left, and that I had to make a stop at job # 2 before I left. Plus I had to pick up my rental car so . . . yeah, it was kind of a stressful send off. It was definitely one of those things where I felt rushed and unprepared even though I'd known I was making this trip for a long time, and I found myself really frustrated with that. Honestly, I need to get over this whole procrastination thing . . . but that's neither here nor there.
I finally got on the road to SLC around 3 PM, and I just drove and drove and drove. For the trip up I went through Page on the 89, and once I actually got into Utah I had some issues. Apparently the bottom part of Utah is just all these small towns along the 89, and the 89 just curves and curves and curves through all of them. By the time I hit this part of the trip it was dark, and curvy roads that I'm not familiar with in complete darkness=basically when I'm at my worst driving. I kept having to slow down and it just sucked. Twice I thought I had missed something in my directions and had to turn around and retrace my steps. Finally I made it to the point where I moved from the 89 to the 15 North, and that helped a lot. The 15 is a highway highway, and the speed limit is 80, and it's well lit and smooth, so that part was a lot easier. I definitely had a moment when I saw the first sign that had the distance to SLC on it where I was just so disappointed, because I saw the sign and was just like, "How the hell am I still so far away when I've been driving so long??" But really, at that point all you can do is drive, so I did. I got checked into my hotel around 1:30 in the morning. I pretty much got to my room, took off my clothes, and fell into bed.
Saturday was the day of the shower and, not surprisingly, I spent a good chunk of it getting lost trying to find Theresa's apartment, because addresses in Utah can sometimes be said backwards, if that makes sense. I got confused but eventually figured it out, and I rode with them to the shower. (I made them late and felt terrible, incidentally). The shower was outside, and it was beautiful but insanely windy, so there were a lot of pauses where we just had to hold things down, but it was a lot of fun. Jenna's sisters did a great job of hosting. I also met a few new people who live in SLC, so that was exciting. It was a great group, and I'm looking forward to seeing them all again at the wedding. (In less than a month, eek!!)
After the shower Theresa and I (and their roommate, Zach) went back to their place, where Theresa and I watched football and talked about wedding details. Later, the two of us and the Goldmans went to the Girl Scout camp that Jenna ran over the summer, which was awesome! It's a really beautiful camp and I loved getting to see it. We saw deer at the camp, and moose on the drive up and down (one each way!) so that was really cool. The camp is near Provo, so it was quite a drive, but the Goldmans are awesome company. After Trefoil we had dinner at Red Iguana, a Mexican place, which pretty much made my day because I actually found out about Red Iguana a few weeks ago and had been planning to eat there during the wedding trip, so when that was already the plan, I was thrilled. And the food did not disappoint, some pretty solid amazingness right there. (I'm already craving it and can't wait to go back). It was a long and exhausting day but so much fun.
On Sunday we all had breakfast at Theresa's, she made some delicious stuffed french toast. Then we went to David's Bridal and picked out new bridesmaid shoes, and then we visited the venue where the wedding and reception will be taking place. The place is absolutely incredible, like mind blowingly beautiful, and completely perfect for Jenna and Theresa's wedding. It just fits them, and seeing the venue just made me even more excited for the wedding.
I left SLC a solid 3 hours later than intended, but it was worth it to see the venue. I took a different route home so I could go through Las Vegas (this route was completely the 15, and it's the route Jerbs and I will take when we drive to SLC for the wedding) and pick up my bridesmaid's dress from Kelly, another bridesmaid who lives there. I spent some time just chatting with her, so that was nice. Once I had my dress I got on my way, only to get pulled over for speeding right outside Boulder City. I thought the speed limit was 65 so I was going 75 (I know, I was speeding, but I thought by only 10 mph), and it turns out the speed limit where I was is actually 45. So yeah, good job Ica. Really everything about this situation was not in my favor, because I was speeding near Vegas at 2 AM in a car with California plates so . . . yeah. The cop asked me if I'd been arrested before, which freaked me the fuck out. I mean, why ask that unless you're planning on arresting someone? I was terrified I was going to end up in jail in Boulder City in the middle of the night . . . but thankfully, he just gave me a speeding ticket. Which yes, sucks, but I didn't even care, I was just thankful I didn't get arrested.
Then I had to turn around just outside of Kingman for gas, because I'd thought I had enough gas for the trip and about 20 miles out my fancy rental car told me it could only go another 45 miles with what was in the tank. I knew I couldn't make it to Seligman on that so my only choice was to turn around (in one of the little cop parking places that you are definitely not supposed to turn around in, so yay). I was so upset. I got gas and finally finally finally got on the road. At this point I was so tired I don't even know how I made it home. I was also really really angry so I was pretty much hating life during that drive. I finally got home at like 3 in the morning and just crashed, and felt much better after I got some sleep.
This morning I tried on my dress, and I am thrilled because it fits perfectly and I actually kind of like how I look in it. Having my dress here kind of makes it sink in a little more that the wedding is coming up, and fast! I can't wait!
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wedding. Show all posts
9.07.2015
7.14.2015
Colorado//First Plane Ride//Shannon's Wedding
I'm home from my trip to Colorado, and now that I've slept for approximately 14 hours, I finally feel awake enough to write about it.
I left last Thursday, after I made sure the cats were going to survive 4 days home alone. Jerbs left for San Diego last Tuesday night, so all of the animal and house preparing fell to me (yay, my favorite). I get super paranoid about that kind of stuff, so I spent all my after work time on Wednesday making sure various things were unplugged and taking out trash and setting out bowls of food and water for the cats and making sure there was nothing in the fridge that would go bad, etc. etc. etc. I also managed to do most of my packing somewhere in there, which of course made exactly zero difference in being able to leave on time on Thursday because I just don't do on time, I guess.
I worked a half day Thursday, then put in a little time at job # 2. Then I came home and triple checked everything in the house, showered, finished packing, loaded up the car and hit the road. I was just over halfway to Flagstaff when I randomly started wondering if I had locked a cat in the laundry room. I seriously considered turning around and driving back to check, but talked myself out of it. I had checked the laundry room before I left, but I'd only kind of glanced because I was in a hurry, so . . . yeah. I kind of talked myself into a panic about it. (Happily, I did NOT lock any cats in the laundry room when I left, but those fatties did manage to eat all the food I put out for them so . . . good job, cats).
I drove to Kingman and dropped my dogs and their stuff off at my mom's (she was nice enough to watch them for me), then I spent the night at my sister's. (Austin was so happy to see me, when he saw me at my mom's he said he'd been waiting ALL DAY for me to get there haha). Our flight from Vegas to Denver was at 6:20 in the morning, which mean we got up around 2 AM to be on the road by 3. This all happened after staying up until at least 11 the night before, so it was not the most pleasant experience. The whole way to Vegas my sister (needlessly) worried that we were going to miss our flight, which made the whole thing even more fun.
So the flight. This was actually my first time ever flying, so I was really excited and nervous about it. The security stuff was kind of anxiety inducing, I was very worried that I was going to get stopped for extra stuff--not that there was any reason at all that I would be, but still. On the plane, I sat with Austin, so he got the window seat, but since he's so short I was able to see over him. Let me tell you, I really surprised/impressed myself with how calm I was about flying. Like, I fully expected to be shit terrified, but . . . I was just completely at ease. Take off was a little weird, just because you kind of get thrown back in your seat as the plane goes up, and it's a strange sensation when you experience it for the first time. Once we were in the air, the only thing that scared me was when the plane would kind of roll to the side. That's the only way I can think to describe it, and I think it happens when the plane moves in a curved line, if that makes sense. It's kind of creepy to be looking out the window and then just have it dip to one side, so that scared me quite a bit. But the flight to Denver was really smooth and the landing was smooth too, so overall I think I got lucky to have that particular flight as my first one. (Flight home was not so great but more on that later).
Once we got to Denver, we picked up a rental car and drove to Colorado Springs (about an hour away). Then my sister and her friend, Jen, who had flown out with us, had the rehearsal dinner. At that point I actually took the rental car and drove back to the Denver airport to pick up Jen's boyfriend, who had flown out from Phoenix. Weirdly, that drive was one of the highlights of the trip for me. Before I left, my sister freaked out because I don't have GPS on my phone, and I just looked up the directions online and wrote them down. Then the exit I was supposed to take was closed, which initially made me panic, because I was on a packed 4 lane highway in a strange city/state, so I just kept driving, intending to turn around and try to hit my intended exit from the other direction. But then I saw signs for the airport at a different exit a few miles up the road and just followed those, so basically I ended up taking the highway instead of a toll road, which just adds about 20 minutes onto the trip, not really a big deal. So I made it to the airport, followed the signs to the terminal (based on just knowing the airline BTW), then followed the signs to passenger pick up, and smoothly and successfully picked up Jen's boyfriend. Then I just followed the signs to get back on the road to Colorado Springs, and we successfully made it back. I was so fucking proud of myself! I mean, I still get lost in Flagstaff sometimes, but I was able to drive to an airport in a place I'd never been to pick someone up. It made me happy. And confident. And my sister was very impressed that I did all that without GPS. So go me.
The next morning, my sister and Jen left super early to get ready for the wedding, so Stevie (another friend of my sister's who came with us) and I were in charge of Austin. We had breakfast at the hotel (Austin prayed over the meal and thanked Jesus that Stevie and I were there to take him to breakfast, it was very sweet). Then we all got ready for the wedding, which involved multiple texts from my sister to make sure I was actually getting Austin ready. The three of us and Jen's boyfriend had to take a cab out to the Airforce base where the wedding was, which was interesting. The driver told us a bunch of the history of the base, which was cool, but it was a long drive that cost $55, which was less fun.
The chapel on the base, where the ceremony was, is a really beautiful place. I had Austin write I love you and his name in the guest book, it was cute. The ceremony was really pretty, very traditional and elegant; I really liked the chaplain who officiated. My sister (and all the bridesmaids, a lot of whom I know through her and Shannon) looked amazing, and Shannon was just a stunning bride. I definitely cried during the ceremony, not just because it was a wedding, but because I was watching someone I've known since she was a little kid get married. Weird, but in a good way. I'm very, very happy for Shannon and her husband. They definitely seem like a good fit.
After the ceremony the 4 of us who took the cab together got a ride back to our hotel with one of my sister's friends, Lindsey. I'd never met her before that day (at least not that I remembered, but she said we were introduced once a long time ago at my sister's in Kingman), but she was very nice, and I was glad for the ride because I definitely didn't want to either wait for my sister to be finished with pictures or shell out another $55 for a cab ride! My sister did pick us up for the reception, though.
The reception was fun, we sat with some nice people who are friends of Shannon's husband. The food was good (Austin said to my sister, "This is what you should make at home, Mom!"). My sister gave a very nice MoH speech that made me cry. And then at some point the whole thing turned into a rave, and I just . . . well, it's just not my kind of thing. I don't like loud music or strobe lights or drunk people, so I was a little out of my comfort zone. I did dance, a little, when forced to by the bride haha, but that was about it. In retrospect, I wish I'd been a little more confident and had more fun, but I am who I am so oh well. We finally left, which, for me, involved playing DD (joy). I was in such a shitty mood by then I almost felt bad but whatever, it had been a long night, my shoes hurt, and again, I don't like hauling around drunk people. It was an amazing feeling to finally get back to our hotel (which took awhile because I didn't have directions and everyone I was with was too drunk to help me) and go to bed. My sister went to the after party, and I vaguely remember her stumbling in at like 2 AM, but aside from that, I was freaking out.
The next morning I took Austin swimming for a little while, then I took a walk around the neighborhood where our hotel was. It's the downtown area, so it's a really old, really residential area, and I wanted to see it. I looked at some pretty houses and met a cat who lived at one of them, he came over the fence and let me pet him. Later we actually went over to Shannon's house to visit her and say goodbye. She has a pet hedgehog that I got to hold, so that was exciting. (I want a hedgehog SO bad, but you have to have a wildlife license to own one in AZ). We had a nice visit, then had dinner at Applebees and went back to our hotel to pack and get ready to leave the next day.
Monday we got up early so we could go to the Garden of the Gods before we left for Denver, which was definitely worth it. It was beautiful, and it was something I was hoping to see while we were there. I took a bunch of pictures that I don't really feel like posting, but it was just lovely. We stopped for coffee at Starbucks and then got on the road back to Denver. We made really good time, got to the airport and returned the rental car, got to the terminal and made it through security a full two hours before our flight was scheduled to take off. So we had a nice sit down lunch and felt pretty dang proud of ourselves. After lunch we went souvenir shopping in the airport shops, then went to our gate to wait for our flight. This was the point where everything started to go downhill.
About 20 minutes after we were supposed to start boarding, just as we were starting to wonder why we weren't on the plane yet, they announced that the flight was delayed by 2 hours. Apparently, the plane was flying Seattle to Denver, and was held up because of bad weather in Seattle. So we killed 2 hours doing basically nothing, and finally got on the plane. (Side note: the guy I was sitting next to told Jen and I about how once, years ago, his flight out of Dallas got grounded after he was already on the plane, and he sat in the plane on the runway for 6 hours . . . so I guess our little delay wasn't all that bad). By the time we boarded it was looking pretty stormy out in Denver, and the take off was rough. The first half of the flight was pretty rough too, with lots of patches of turbulence, which was a little nerve wracking. Plus the cabin lights wouldn't stay off or on for awhile, they just flickered, which made for a pretty spooky/ominous atmosphere. The landing in Vegas was rough too, so the whole flight home experience was not great. And stepping out into the Vegas heat (it was 103 degrees out when we landed) after spending 4 days in 70 degree weather was just . . . blech.
We drove back to Kingman, where things continued to go wrong: within 20 minutes of being back at my sister's, we had to take one of her dogs to an emergency vet. Long story that involved me having to find an ATM, but the dog thankfully is fine, she just had a concussion. By this time it was almost 9:30 PM, and I finally made it to my mom's and picked up my dogs (who were just delighted to see me). I had planned to visit my dad, but by then I figured he was asleep so I was just going to go home, but my mom mentioned he had been waiting up for me, so I ended up going to his house and was there for probably about 45 minutes. It was nice to see him, and we had a nice visit. He just got back from a trip to visit his family in Ohio, so we got to talk about that and I told him about the Denver trip.
I stopped and got gas and finally, at around 10:30, got on the road home. I got on the 40 East at Andy Devine (like always), and went maybe half a mile, and then traffic was completely stopped. Like, completely stopped. I was literally parked on the effing highway. I texted Jerbs (she was home in Flag by then) and asked her to look online and see what was up. Apparently, a couple miles up the road from where I was, there had been a vehicle on fire, so crews were working on that. Traffic started moving again (VERY slowly) around 11:20, but one lane was still closed so between the merging and the huge amount of back up (mostly semis), it was about another 20 minutes before I was actually driving at highway speed. I finally got home around 1:30 AM, and I don't think I've ever been so grateful to see Flagstaff or my crappy little apartment. I walked in, set up the dogs' bed, gave Jerbs a hug, and just fell into bed. It was glorious. I woke up this afternoon and ordered a pizza and felt very very grateful that I thought to take today off, because no way could I have functioned at work today.
Overall, it was a good trip, and I'm glad I went and I appreciate my sister booking the flight and hotel and everything. I do have to say that, as much as I love my sister, she and I are just drastically different people, and 4 straight days together with very little time apart really brings that out. I don't necessarily think that she and I make good traveling buddies. As for flying, I didn't mind it, and I'm glad that now I at least know how to fly, like I know how to get around an airport and all that, which I'm sure is a useful skill to have. But I have to say it wasn't my favorite, I think because so much of it is hurry up and wait, y'know? Like waiting in line at security, then waiting in line at the gate, then waiting in line for the rental car . . . just too much down time. It makes me feel like I'm wasting time, somehow, so I think I'll stick to road trips when I'm able to. But that's just me.
I will say that seeing my sister and Jen as bridesmaids made me even more excited to be in Theresa's wedding this fall!
I left last Thursday, after I made sure the cats were going to survive 4 days home alone. Jerbs left for San Diego last Tuesday night, so all of the animal and house preparing fell to me (yay, my favorite). I get super paranoid about that kind of stuff, so I spent all my after work time on Wednesday making sure various things were unplugged and taking out trash and setting out bowls of food and water for the cats and making sure there was nothing in the fridge that would go bad, etc. etc. etc. I also managed to do most of my packing somewhere in there, which of course made exactly zero difference in being able to leave on time on Thursday because I just don't do on time, I guess.
I worked a half day Thursday, then put in a little time at job # 2. Then I came home and triple checked everything in the house, showered, finished packing, loaded up the car and hit the road. I was just over halfway to Flagstaff when I randomly started wondering if I had locked a cat in the laundry room. I seriously considered turning around and driving back to check, but talked myself out of it. I had checked the laundry room before I left, but I'd only kind of glanced because I was in a hurry, so . . . yeah. I kind of talked myself into a panic about it. (Happily, I did NOT lock any cats in the laundry room when I left, but those fatties did manage to eat all the food I put out for them so . . . good job, cats).
I drove to Kingman and dropped my dogs and their stuff off at my mom's (she was nice enough to watch them for me), then I spent the night at my sister's. (Austin was so happy to see me, when he saw me at my mom's he said he'd been waiting ALL DAY for me to get there haha). Our flight from Vegas to Denver was at 6:20 in the morning, which mean we got up around 2 AM to be on the road by 3. This all happened after staying up until at least 11 the night before, so it was not the most pleasant experience. The whole way to Vegas my sister (needlessly) worried that we were going to miss our flight, which made the whole thing even more fun.
So the flight. This was actually my first time ever flying, so I was really excited and nervous about it. The security stuff was kind of anxiety inducing, I was very worried that I was going to get stopped for extra stuff--not that there was any reason at all that I would be, but still. On the plane, I sat with Austin, so he got the window seat, but since he's so short I was able to see over him. Let me tell you, I really surprised/impressed myself with how calm I was about flying. Like, I fully expected to be shit terrified, but . . . I was just completely at ease. Take off was a little weird, just because you kind of get thrown back in your seat as the plane goes up, and it's a strange sensation when you experience it for the first time. Once we were in the air, the only thing that scared me was when the plane would kind of roll to the side. That's the only way I can think to describe it, and I think it happens when the plane moves in a curved line, if that makes sense. It's kind of creepy to be looking out the window and then just have it dip to one side, so that scared me quite a bit. But the flight to Denver was really smooth and the landing was smooth too, so overall I think I got lucky to have that particular flight as my first one. (Flight home was not so great but more on that later).
Once we got to Denver, we picked up a rental car and drove to Colorado Springs (about an hour away). Then my sister and her friend, Jen, who had flown out with us, had the rehearsal dinner. At that point I actually took the rental car and drove back to the Denver airport to pick up Jen's boyfriend, who had flown out from Phoenix. Weirdly, that drive was one of the highlights of the trip for me. Before I left, my sister freaked out because I don't have GPS on my phone, and I just looked up the directions online and wrote them down. Then the exit I was supposed to take was closed, which initially made me panic, because I was on a packed 4 lane highway in a strange city/state, so I just kept driving, intending to turn around and try to hit my intended exit from the other direction. But then I saw signs for the airport at a different exit a few miles up the road and just followed those, so basically I ended up taking the highway instead of a toll road, which just adds about 20 minutes onto the trip, not really a big deal. So I made it to the airport, followed the signs to the terminal (based on just knowing the airline BTW), then followed the signs to passenger pick up, and smoothly and successfully picked up Jen's boyfriend. Then I just followed the signs to get back on the road to Colorado Springs, and we successfully made it back. I was so fucking proud of myself! I mean, I still get lost in Flagstaff sometimes, but I was able to drive to an airport in a place I'd never been to pick someone up. It made me happy. And confident. And my sister was very impressed that I did all that without GPS. So go me.
The next morning, my sister and Jen left super early to get ready for the wedding, so Stevie (another friend of my sister's who came with us) and I were in charge of Austin. We had breakfast at the hotel (Austin prayed over the meal and thanked Jesus that Stevie and I were there to take him to breakfast, it was very sweet). Then we all got ready for the wedding, which involved multiple texts from my sister to make sure I was actually getting Austin ready. The three of us and Jen's boyfriend had to take a cab out to the Airforce base where the wedding was, which was interesting. The driver told us a bunch of the history of the base, which was cool, but it was a long drive that cost $55, which was less fun.
The chapel on the base, where the ceremony was, is a really beautiful place. I had Austin write I love you and his name in the guest book, it was cute. The ceremony was really pretty, very traditional and elegant; I really liked the chaplain who officiated. My sister (and all the bridesmaids, a lot of whom I know through her and Shannon) looked amazing, and Shannon was just a stunning bride. I definitely cried during the ceremony, not just because it was a wedding, but because I was watching someone I've known since she was a little kid get married. Weird, but in a good way. I'm very, very happy for Shannon and her husband. They definitely seem like a good fit.
After the ceremony the 4 of us who took the cab together got a ride back to our hotel with one of my sister's friends, Lindsey. I'd never met her before that day (at least not that I remembered, but she said we were introduced once a long time ago at my sister's in Kingman), but she was very nice, and I was glad for the ride because I definitely didn't want to either wait for my sister to be finished with pictures or shell out another $55 for a cab ride! My sister did pick us up for the reception, though.
The reception was fun, we sat with some nice people who are friends of Shannon's husband. The food was good (Austin said to my sister, "This is what you should make at home, Mom!"). My sister gave a very nice MoH speech that made me cry. And then at some point the whole thing turned into a rave, and I just . . . well, it's just not my kind of thing. I don't like loud music or strobe lights or drunk people, so I was a little out of my comfort zone. I did dance, a little, when forced to by the bride haha, but that was about it. In retrospect, I wish I'd been a little more confident and had more fun, but I am who I am so oh well. We finally left, which, for me, involved playing DD (joy). I was in such a shitty mood by then I almost felt bad but whatever, it had been a long night, my shoes hurt, and again, I don't like hauling around drunk people. It was an amazing feeling to finally get back to our hotel (which took awhile because I didn't have directions and everyone I was with was too drunk to help me) and go to bed. My sister went to the after party, and I vaguely remember her stumbling in at like 2 AM, but aside from that, I was freaking out.
The next morning I took Austin swimming for a little while, then I took a walk around the neighborhood where our hotel was. It's the downtown area, so it's a really old, really residential area, and I wanted to see it. I looked at some pretty houses and met a cat who lived at one of them, he came over the fence and let me pet him. Later we actually went over to Shannon's house to visit her and say goodbye. She has a pet hedgehog that I got to hold, so that was exciting. (I want a hedgehog SO bad, but you have to have a wildlife license to own one in AZ). We had a nice visit, then had dinner at Applebees and went back to our hotel to pack and get ready to leave the next day.
Monday we got up early so we could go to the Garden of the Gods before we left for Denver, which was definitely worth it. It was beautiful, and it was something I was hoping to see while we were there. I took a bunch of pictures that I don't really feel like posting, but it was just lovely. We stopped for coffee at Starbucks and then got on the road back to Denver. We made really good time, got to the airport and returned the rental car, got to the terminal and made it through security a full two hours before our flight was scheduled to take off. So we had a nice sit down lunch and felt pretty dang proud of ourselves. After lunch we went souvenir shopping in the airport shops, then went to our gate to wait for our flight. This was the point where everything started to go downhill.
About 20 minutes after we were supposed to start boarding, just as we were starting to wonder why we weren't on the plane yet, they announced that the flight was delayed by 2 hours. Apparently, the plane was flying Seattle to Denver, and was held up because of bad weather in Seattle. So we killed 2 hours doing basically nothing, and finally got on the plane. (Side note: the guy I was sitting next to told Jen and I about how once, years ago, his flight out of Dallas got grounded after he was already on the plane, and he sat in the plane on the runway for 6 hours . . . so I guess our little delay wasn't all that bad). By the time we boarded it was looking pretty stormy out in Denver, and the take off was rough. The first half of the flight was pretty rough too, with lots of patches of turbulence, which was a little nerve wracking. Plus the cabin lights wouldn't stay off or on for awhile, they just flickered, which made for a pretty spooky/ominous atmosphere. The landing in Vegas was rough too, so the whole flight home experience was not great. And stepping out into the Vegas heat (it was 103 degrees out when we landed) after spending 4 days in 70 degree weather was just . . . blech.
We drove back to Kingman, where things continued to go wrong: within 20 minutes of being back at my sister's, we had to take one of her dogs to an emergency vet. Long story that involved me having to find an ATM, but the dog thankfully is fine, she just had a concussion. By this time it was almost 9:30 PM, and I finally made it to my mom's and picked up my dogs (who were just delighted to see me). I had planned to visit my dad, but by then I figured he was asleep so I was just going to go home, but my mom mentioned he had been waiting up for me, so I ended up going to his house and was there for probably about 45 minutes. It was nice to see him, and we had a nice visit. He just got back from a trip to visit his family in Ohio, so we got to talk about that and I told him about the Denver trip.
I stopped and got gas and finally, at around 10:30, got on the road home. I got on the 40 East at Andy Devine (like always), and went maybe half a mile, and then traffic was completely stopped. Like, completely stopped. I was literally parked on the effing highway. I texted Jerbs (she was home in Flag by then) and asked her to look online and see what was up. Apparently, a couple miles up the road from where I was, there had been a vehicle on fire, so crews were working on that. Traffic started moving again (VERY slowly) around 11:20, but one lane was still closed so between the merging and the huge amount of back up (mostly semis), it was about another 20 minutes before I was actually driving at highway speed. I finally got home around 1:30 AM, and I don't think I've ever been so grateful to see Flagstaff or my crappy little apartment. I walked in, set up the dogs' bed, gave Jerbs a hug, and just fell into bed. It was glorious. I woke up this afternoon and ordered a pizza and felt very very grateful that I thought to take today off, because no way could I have functioned at work today.
Overall, it was a good trip, and I'm glad I went and I appreciate my sister booking the flight and hotel and everything. I do have to say that, as much as I love my sister, she and I are just drastically different people, and 4 straight days together with very little time apart really brings that out. I don't necessarily think that she and I make good traveling buddies. As for flying, I didn't mind it, and I'm glad that now I at least know how to fly, like I know how to get around an airport and all that, which I'm sure is a useful skill to have. But I have to say it wasn't my favorite, I think because so much of it is hurry up and wait, y'know? Like waiting in line at security, then waiting in line at the gate, then waiting in line for the rental car . . . just too much down time. It makes me feel like I'm wasting time, somehow, so I think I'll stick to road trips when I'm able to. But that's just me.
I will say that seeing my sister and Jen as bridesmaids made me even more excited to be in Theresa's wedding this fall!
5.05.2015
Las Vegas
So I am home safe and sound and in one piece from my trip to Vegas. It was AMAZING and well worth how completely exhausted I was at work yesterday. I love Vegas, I love Theresa, I love her fiancee (Jenna), I love her future in-laws, I loved this whole weekend!
First some background. I don't know if I ever actually mentioned it, but I'm a bridesmaid in Theresa's wedding this October, which I couldn't be happier or more excited about. I feel so incredibly honored to have been asked! The bridal party is pretty scattered: I'm in Flagstaff, Theresa's other two bridesmaids live in Las Vegas and China, and her fiancee's bridesmaids are split between California and Colorado. The China and Colorado people couldn't make it, but 4 of the 6 of us were there. This trip has been planned since, like, February, so I've been looking forward to it for awhile.
I took Friday, the first, off from work so that I could get on the road at a decent hour and stop in Kingman on my way. I went to my mom's and she had completely forgotten I was coming, so I unintentionally got to surprise her. I got to town just before Austin was getting out of school, so I went to the bus stop with her to pick him up. He was super surprised and RAN over to me as soon as he was off the bus, and totally knocked me over. I told him he's just getting too strong for me, and he told me it's because he works out. (True story). After we got in my car to go to lunch, he said, "I KNEW one of these days you were going to come, Auntica." I just love him. We let him pick where to go for lunch, which of course meant we went to Cracker Barrel (side note: I always let him pick the restaurant because I know that's what he'll pick). After we had lunch, I mentioned I needed to run to WalMart and buy a charger for my phone before I headed out (I forgot to pack my charger, natch). So my mom said she needed a few things and asked if we could just go together, so I said sure.
Well, I should know better. When my mom says she just needs a few things, it actually means we're going to be at the store for at least an hour and that we're going to leave with a cart full of groceries. Groceries that then had to be loaded into my car and then unloaded at my mom's. By the time I got gas and left Kingman I was an hour behind where I wanted to be, which was disappointing.
Also disappointing was the drive over the bridge to bypass the Hoover Dam. I watched that thing being built for so long and was looking forward to driving it, but the sides are so high that you can't see anything over the edge. Kind of a bummer.
I got to Vegas and promptly got lost, in part because I had directions to the hotel where I'd be staying but since I was running late, by the time I got to Vegas we were meeting up with Jenna's parents at their hotel for dinner. I don't know how I manage this crap, I've only been to Vegas like a hundred times, but whatever. Long story short, I did eventually get to where I needed to be and found Theresa and it was all uphill from there.
Friday night we (we being me, Theresa, Jenna, Jenna's parents, and Jenna's brother in law) walked over to the Bellagio and watched the dancing fountains for awhile. Then we went back to Jenna's parents' hotel and played Cards Against Humanity, which was hilarious and very entertaining. Later Jenna's sisters (AKA her bridesmaids) got there so I got to meet them. We ended up hitting the casino for a bit, and then went to our hotel, which was an amazing 2 bedroom 2 bathroom suite (seriously bigger than my apartment). Theresa and Jenna had one room, Jenna's sister and her husband had the other, and I had the pull out couch in the living room.
Saturday was dress shopping day. We started with a Starbucks run, then had an appointment at a bridesmaid dress shop in Henderson. The place was honestly a little meh, we did find some things we liked but the issue was that they didn't come in the right colors (particularly the green that Theresa wanted for her side). We ended up picking dresses, but decided to go to the later appointment at David's Bridal just to see how that went. Between appointments we had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory, where I'd never eaten before, so that was fun. It's a good thing we don't have one of those here because I'd be freaking fatter than I already am.
The David's Bridal appointment was much better than the first appointment, there were a lot more options as far as dresses, and we all got to just pull whatever we wanted to try on, so we ended up with a huge variety of dresses to look at. (Plus the bonus of hearing Jenna's mom offering her opinion to the couple girls there who were trying on wedding dresses, it was hilarious). As much as I hate trying on clothes and then essentially modeling them, it was actually fun. We chose dresses there (the same dress for each side, in different colors) and I LOVE the dress we picked. Plus the price was legit half of what it was at the other place, so bonus. (Side note: I totally teared up while we were dress shopping, because . . . I don't know. This is a whole new experience for me, and it's so awesome to think that randomly meeting years ago led to that, y'know? I don't have a whole lot of friends from college, and I've burned a lot of bridges, so to know that there is a person I met in college who still likes me, who likes me enough to want me to be in her wedding, was kind of overwhelming. I don't even care how lame that makes me sound, it's true).
After the dresses we had dinner at a buffet, which was completely empty because it was fight night. At some point after dinner, Theresa and I and her future brother in law went back to our hotel to change or something, and I left my wallet there. So when we got back to the other hotel/casino to gamble, I had no freaking money. I was so mad at myself! And since it was fight night the traffic was horrendous, so going back to get it was absolutely not an option. In retrospect, it's probably a good thing because I ended up spending way less money than I anticipated, but it still sucked. After awhile Theresa and I just went and people watched on the strip, but that was kind of terrifying because it was so packed (again, fight night) so we went back inside and people watched. Still entertaining.
Sunday morning we swam at Jenna's parent's hotel and had lunch there before we headed out. I ended up leaving the same time Theresa and Jenna did. I stopped in Kingman on my way back and got to spend some time with my dad, which was nice. I ended up getting home way later than intended (Jenna and Theresa got back to SLC before I got back to Flagstaff so . . . yeah). Work yesterday was just pure torture but it was worth it!
Overall, it was just a fantastic trip with some fantastic people, and I'm so glad I got to go. Theresa and I have had a lot of great experiences together and we have a lot of great memories, and this weekend will definitely be one that stands out.
First some background. I don't know if I ever actually mentioned it, but I'm a bridesmaid in Theresa's wedding this October, which I couldn't be happier or more excited about. I feel so incredibly honored to have been asked! The bridal party is pretty scattered: I'm in Flagstaff, Theresa's other two bridesmaids live in Las Vegas and China, and her fiancee's bridesmaids are split between California and Colorado. The China and Colorado people couldn't make it, but 4 of the 6 of us were there. This trip has been planned since, like, February, so I've been looking forward to it for awhile.
I took Friday, the first, off from work so that I could get on the road at a decent hour and stop in Kingman on my way. I went to my mom's and she had completely forgotten I was coming, so I unintentionally got to surprise her. I got to town just before Austin was getting out of school, so I went to the bus stop with her to pick him up. He was super surprised and RAN over to me as soon as he was off the bus, and totally knocked me over. I told him he's just getting too strong for me, and he told me it's because he works out. (True story). After we got in my car to go to lunch, he said, "I KNEW one of these days you were going to come, Auntica." I just love him. We let him pick where to go for lunch, which of course meant we went to Cracker Barrel (side note: I always let him pick the restaurant because I know that's what he'll pick). After we had lunch, I mentioned I needed to run to WalMart and buy a charger for my phone before I headed out (I forgot to pack my charger, natch). So my mom said she needed a few things and asked if we could just go together, so I said sure.
Well, I should know better. When my mom says she just needs a few things, it actually means we're going to be at the store for at least an hour and that we're going to leave with a cart full of groceries. Groceries that then had to be loaded into my car and then unloaded at my mom's. By the time I got gas and left Kingman I was an hour behind where I wanted to be, which was disappointing.
Also disappointing was the drive over the bridge to bypass the Hoover Dam. I watched that thing being built for so long and was looking forward to driving it, but the sides are so high that you can't see anything over the edge. Kind of a bummer.
I got to Vegas and promptly got lost, in part because I had directions to the hotel where I'd be staying but since I was running late, by the time I got to Vegas we were meeting up with Jenna's parents at their hotel for dinner. I don't know how I manage this crap, I've only been to Vegas like a hundred times, but whatever. Long story short, I did eventually get to where I needed to be and found Theresa and it was all uphill from there.
Friday night we (we being me, Theresa, Jenna, Jenna's parents, and Jenna's brother in law) walked over to the Bellagio and watched the dancing fountains for awhile. Then we went back to Jenna's parents' hotel and played Cards Against Humanity, which was hilarious and very entertaining. Later Jenna's sisters (AKA her bridesmaids) got there so I got to meet them. We ended up hitting the casino for a bit, and then went to our hotel, which was an amazing 2 bedroom 2 bathroom suite (seriously bigger than my apartment). Theresa and Jenna had one room, Jenna's sister and her husband had the other, and I had the pull out couch in the living room.
Saturday was dress shopping day. We started with a Starbucks run, then had an appointment at a bridesmaid dress shop in Henderson. The place was honestly a little meh, we did find some things we liked but the issue was that they didn't come in the right colors (particularly the green that Theresa wanted for her side). We ended up picking dresses, but decided to go to the later appointment at David's Bridal just to see how that went. Between appointments we had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory, where I'd never eaten before, so that was fun. It's a good thing we don't have one of those here because I'd be freaking fatter than I already am.
The David's Bridal appointment was much better than the first appointment, there were a lot more options as far as dresses, and we all got to just pull whatever we wanted to try on, so we ended up with a huge variety of dresses to look at. (Plus the bonus of hearing Jenna's mom offering her opinion to the couple girls there who were trying on wedding dresses, it was hilarious). As much as I hate trying on clothes and then essentially modeling them, it was actually fun. We chose dresses there (the same dress for each side, in different colors) and I LOVE the dress we picked. Plus the price was legit half of what it was at the other place, so bonus. (Side note: I totally teared up while we were dress shopping, because . . . I don't know. This is a whole new experience for me, and it's so awesome to think that randomly meeting years ago led to that, y'know? I don't have a whole lot of friends from college, and I've burned a lot of bridges, so to know that there is a person I met in college who still likes me, who likes me enough to want me to be in her wedding, was kind of overwhelming. I don't even care how lame that makes me sound, it's true).
After the dresses we had dinner at a buffet, which was completely empty because it was fight night. At some point after dinner, Theresa and I and her future brother in law went back to our hotel to change or something, and I left my wallet there. So when we got back to the other hotel/casino to gamble, I had no freaking money. I was so mad at myself! And since it was fight night the traffic was horrendous, so going back to get it was absolutely not an option. In retrospect, it's probably a good thing because I ended up spending way less money than I anticipated, but it still sucked. After awhile Theresa and I just went and people watched on the strip, but that was kind of terrifying because it was so packed (again, fight night) so we went back inside and people watched. Still entertaining.
Sunday morning we swam at Jenna's parent's hotel and had lunch there before we headed out. I ended up leaving the same time Theresa and Jenna did. I stopped in Kingman on my way back and got to spend some time with my dad, which was nice. I ended up getting home way later than intended (Jenna and Theresa got back to SLC before I got back to Flagstaff so . . . yeah). Work yesterday was just pure torture but it was worth it!
Overall, it was just a fantastic trip with some fantastic people, and I'm so glad I got to go. Theresa and I have had a lot of great experiences together and we have a lot of great memories, and this weekend will definitely be one that stands out.
8.13.2012
A Confession
Quite a few times since Ex-Fiance broke up with me, I've had these moments where I suddenly feel overwhelmed with this thought of, I was supposed to be married by now.* And it usually makes me sad, or bitter, or angry, depending on how my day is going at the time.
And then last night I was hanging out with Jerbs and my friend Theresa, and that thought hit me, and instead of any negative emotion, I felt relieved.
I am relieved that I am not married right now.
Don't get me wrong. My feelings for Ex-Fiance haven't changed, and I still want to be married someday. And yes, I'm still very sad that I didn't get to experience being a bride and a wedding and all that.
But the thought of getting married feeling the way I was in our relationship . . . I can't imagine doing that. Because the truth is I didn't want to get married with the way things were; I knew I wasn't mentally healthy enough to do it. But I didn't want to initiate a break because I was afraid that Ex-Fiance wouldn't wait for me. The thought of being in Kingman right now, in a new marriage, still struggling with mental illness makes me sick to my stomach.
That is not what I want. That is NEVER what I wanted.
I was adamant from the very beginning that I didn't want to get married mentally ill. I feel like I've already lost a chunk of my life to mental illness--I flat out refuse to sacrifice one second of my marriage to it as well. I feel like my marriage (be it to Ex-Fiance or someone else) will be the most important, sacred, beautiful, meaningful thing in my life, and I don't want the bullshit in my head touching that. Yes, I was getting better, but I was nowhere near where I needed to be to be a good partner.
And I think that's why this happened. Because as much as I love Ex-Fiance (and as much as I know he loves me) there is no way we could have made a marriage work with mental illness still being so much a part of me.
So for those reasons, I'm relieved that we didn't go through with it. I hope we do someday but . . . I really don't want to get married until we're ready. It's just difficult because I feel like, if we're meant to be we're wasting time. But I tell myself that I'm only 27 (and Ex-Fiance's only 24) and there's plenty of time left to live together and be married and experience life together.
Do I think Ex-Fiance handled this all as well as he could? God no. Am I expecting a huge ass apology if we decide to work things out? Damn right I am! But do I think he had a point? . . . Yeah, I do.
The thing is, I know what I need to do to get really and truly better, and I'm going to make it happen.
*I don't mean supposed to be as in I'm a girl so I have to be married to a man before I'm 30 or whatever. I just mean it as in, Ex-Fiance and I had planned to be married in December of 11, then March of 12, then June of 12, so really, I expected to be married now.
And then last night I was hanging out with Jerbs and my friend Theresa, and that thought hit me, and instead of any negative emotion, I felt relieved.
I am relieved that I am not married right now.
Don't get me wrong. My feelings for Ex-Fiance haven't changed, and I still want to be married someday. And yes, I'm still very sad that I didn't get to experience being a bride and a wedding and all that.
But the thought of getting married feeling the way I was in our relationship . . . I can't imagine doing that. Because the truth is I didn't want to get married with the way things were; I knew I wasn't mentally healthy enough to do it. But I didn't want to initiate a break because I was afraid that Ex-Fiance wouldn't wait for me. The thought of being in Kingman right now, in a new marriage, still struggling with mental illness makes me sick to my stomach.
That is not what I want. That is NEVER what I wanted.
I was adamant from the very beginning that I didn't want to get married mentally ill. I feel like I've already lost a chunk of my life to mental illness--I flat out refuse to sacrifice one second of my marriage to it as well. I feel like my marriage (be it to Ex-Fiance or someone else) will be the most important, sacred, beautiful, meaningful thing in my life, and I don't want the bullshit in my head touching that. Yes, I was getting better, but I was nowhere near where I needed to be to be a good partner.
And I think that's why this happened. Because as much as I love Ex-Fiance (and as much as I know he loves me) there is no way we could have made a marriage work with mental illness still being so much a part of me.
So for those reasons, I'm relieved that we didn't go through with it. I hope we do someday but . . . I really don't want to get married until we're ready. It's just difficult because I feel like, if we're meant to be we're wasting time. But I tell myself that I'm only 27 (and Ex-Fiance's only 24) and there's plenty of time left to live together and be married and experience life together.
Do I think Ex-Fiance handled this all as well as he could? God no. Am I expecting a huge ass apology if we decide to work things out? Damn right I am! But do I think he had a point? . . . Yeah, I do.
The thing is, I know what I need to do to get really and truly better, and I'm going to make it happen.
*I don't mean supposed to be as in I'm a girl so I have to be married to a man before I'm 30 or whatever. I just mean it as in, Ex-Fiance and I had planned to be married in December of 11, then March of 12, then June of 12, so really, I expected to be married now.
6.30.2012
Numb
Today I've just been numb. The combination of it being my would have been wedding day and the day before I move away from Corey (potentially for good) has not been pleasant. I feel numb and shut down and almost outside of my body. I really can't believe this is all happening.
I've gone through the motions. I got up at baby sat Saucy, I ate, I went to work and did my job, but I was on autopilot.
I do not want what's happening. I don't want to leave, I don't want it to be over, I don't want anything to do with any of it.
I still hope that this isn't the end; I still hope that someday soon Corey and I will reconcile and that I'll move back here. But still, my head hast just been in non stop attack mode today. My thoughts have been racing, thinking things like, this is the last time I'll do this or that, and it sucks. I can't even begin to describe every thought in my head because they're all fleeting and scattered but . . . well, like I said, it sucks.
Last night before I went to bed, I just thought, I should be in Sedona right now, wide awake because I can't sleep because I'm so excited that my wedding's happening soon. This afternoon I found myself thinking, I should have been married by now; I should be at my little reception, celebrating with my family and friends. As the sun was going down, I was thinking, right now I should be alone with Corey, watching the sunset at some romantic spot in Sedona as newlyweds.
It fucking blew.
And of course I don't want to move. There is nothing I want to do less than move, especially back to Flagstaff of all freaking places.
I try to tell myself to be calm and to be patient, and that if I make it through this, and hang in there now, and really work hard to get myself to where I want to be, then the reward will be worth it. I just hope that's true.
I've gone through the motions. I got up at baby sat Saucy, I ate, I went to work and did my job, but I was on autopilot.
I do not want what's happening. I don't want to leave, I don't want it to be over, I don't want anything to do with any of it.
I still hope that this isn't the end; I still hope that someday soon Corey and I will reconcile and that I'll move back here. But still, my head hast just been in non stop attack mode today. My thoughts have been racing, thinking things like, this is the last time I'll do this or that, and it sucks. I can't even begin to describe every thought in my head because they're all fleeting and scattered but . . . well, like I said, it sucks.
Last night before I went to bed, I just thought, I should be in Sedona right now, wide awake because I can't sleep because I'm so excited that my wedding's happening soon. This afternoon I found myself thinking, I should have been married by now; I should be at my little reception, celebrating with my family and friends. As the sun was going down, I was thinking, right now I should be alone with Corey, watching the sunset at some romantic spot in Sedona as newlyweds.
It fucking blew.
And of course I don't want to move. There is nothing I want to do less than move, especially back to Flagstaff of all freaking places.
I try to tell myself to be calm and to be patient, and that if I make it through this, and hang in there now, and really work hard to get myself to where I want to be, then the reward will be worth it. I just hope that's true.
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