Worth The Phoenix Heat

I don't think it would surprise anyone who reads my blog or knows me to know that I hate Phoenix in the summer time.  In general I don't go to Phoenix very often but I especially try to avoid it between April and September.

BUT this past Wednesday, Neil Gaiman(!) made a stop in Phoenix on his book tour, and of course, Jerbs and I agreed that a reading and signing with him was way worth the trip and the potential heat stroke.  We actually found out about and bought tickets for this even way back in, like, February, so we'd been looking forward to it for quite awhile.  (Plus I got to take a random day off work AND I got paid for it!  First paid day off ever in my life).

Overall, it was a pretty quick trip.  We got to Phoenix around lunch time and met up with a good friend of ours from college, B, and hung out with her for a bit.  We had lunch and stopped at this awesome nail supply store that sells mostly to salons but is open to the public; they have high end polish for dirt cheap.  I may have ended up leaving with 5 bottles of polish . . . it was awesome.  (And also, B apparently reads this, so hi B!!)  After that we stopped at a Barnes and Noble because I needed to buy something for the signing, since all of my books are still boxed up back in Kingman (which ended up being more depressing than expected as the book I really wanted to bring was out of stock at every B and N here and in Phoenix).  I bought his new book, the one he's on tour for.

There was a MASSIVE amount of people at the signing.  By the time we got to the high school where it was taking place there was already a gigantic line to get in.  And we were there about 5 minutes before they even opened the doors.  We were still able to get decent seats, though.  The reading and Q/A portion were absolutely fantastic.  My favorite part of these things (we've been to 2 tour events for him before) is the reading.  Neil Gaiman is a fantastic reader, and when he's reading his own work, there is something about it that is just mesmerizing.  Plus he's a genuinely kind and funny guy, so the Q/A session was very entertaining.  My personal favorite was him telling the story about how his book Stardust was actually inspired/conceived in Tucson.  I didn't know that, and it was cool to hear.

The signing part of things was less awesome.  The way they did the signing was in alphabetically assigned groups; each ticket had a letter on it and that was the group you were in for the signing.  Jerbs and I were Q.  (Which actually wasn't so bad, considering that there were so many people there they'd actually gone through the alphabet once and had to start on double letters after, and the guy we were sitting next to had CC as his group).  The signing started around 8, and the people running the event kept saying things were going to go really quickly and blah blah blah which . . . wasn't really the case.  By 10 I was starting to panic a little, because I didn't want to get home super late and then have to work in the morning.  At 10:45 Jerbs and I left, hit a drive thru for dinner, and came back.  Finally at 11:30 they called Q and we got to get in line.  We both got our  books signed but they were really rushing things so neither of us got to talk to Neil or anything, which was disappointing. 

Honestly, though (and I know this sounds creepy, probably) it's incredibly inspiring for me to just stand in his presence.  Not in a stalker way, because I'm definitely not stalking him.  It's more like an admiration thing.  This is a man who is a truly great writer and storyteller, who does what I want to do--he writes beautiful things, and because of the things he writes, over a thousand people are willing to pile into an auditorium and wait hours on end for him to scribble his name on a book for them.  It is truly amazing to me, and it makes me want to work on my own writing and hope that I can be a fraction as successful as him.

Anyway.  By the time we got gas and got on the road it was after midnight.  Then about 60 miles out of Flagstaff we hit some kind of construction (a blast zone, I think, because they're widening the road) and were literally just stopped for about 20 minutes.  We finally got home at 2:45 AM, and I think we were both asleep by 3 AM.

Which made my alarm going off at 6:30 AM about the worst thing that had ever happened to me.  Not really, but damn, it felt that way at the time!  I don't even know how I survived work, but I do know that I drank 2 bottles of Starbucks frappuccino (they brought back the caramel flavor in the bottles!) and 2 cups of coffee from the pot at work, and came home too wound up to crash.

But it was worth it.  Well worth it, both for getting to visit with an old friend and, of course, for Neil Gaiman. 

Life At The Moment

I just have not been in a writing mood lately.

But nothing too exciting has happened since the last time I updated.

Since then:

--Work's still good. Car's still great.

--I had an eye exam last Friday.  My appt. was at 11:30 so I went to work early and left early . . . which ended up being pointless since at 12:15 I was still waiting.  Around noon this woman walked in and asked for an appointment, and they ended up taking her back a few minutes later . . . which was BS since I'd had an appointment and been waiting and all that.  So I complained and they said they'd get me right back.  I sat back down and was still pretty ticked off, so I thought about just leaving and making an appointment somewhere else.  But before I could decide to leave they called me back.  The girl was super nice about it, though, and seemed to feel genuinely bad (especially once I told her where I work), so as an apology, she waived both of my co-pays (exam and glasses) as well as the frame allowance.  So basically I got a super cute Lucky brand glasses for nothing.  Definitely glad I stayed!  My glasses came in yesterday and they're awesome.  They're just readers, because my vision's not bad, my eyes just (apparently) like to sort of over focus, so I'm just wearing them for things up close.  I wore them all day at work yesterday and they helped a lot with the computer stuff.  I spend like 90% of my time at work on my computer, looking from screen to screen, and my eyes definitely didn't feel as bad when I left work today as they have been lately.

--Last Saturday I took Max over to my co-worker's house (the one who gave me Max) and baby sat her 4 children for most of the day.  Yes, that's right . . . me in charge of 4 kids . . . all day.  Including one kid who's still in diapers.  It actually went really well, and the kids all had a great time and totally love me.  I took them swimming at the apartment complex across the street (which was quite the debacle) and they got to play with Max so . . . all in all a good day.  I really do like her kids.  And the youngest is just adorable beyond words.

Sadly, that's all I can really think of to write about at the moment.  Like I said, nothing super exciting right now.  It's just hot and I've been super super lazy because of the heat lately so . . . yeah.

I Have To Say . . .

That saying good-bye to Austin is like 10,000 times worse than saying good-bye to Corey ever was.

This weekend was both lovely and difficult and full of strange feels.

I'll write more tomorrow.

Right now, I'm exhausted and anxious and just kind of . . . blank.

Oh, Y'know, Nothing Much

So let's see.

I had my first evaluation at work last week.  It was my 90 day done about a month late (my boss and I tried to schedule it like 5 times and then things kept coming up and we'd have to reschedule).  Anyway, it went really, really well.  I was basically told I'm doing a great job and to keep up the good work.  The only thing I need to work on is modifiers, which I already knew.  Overall my job performance is rated 3.9/5, so not too shabby.  It's really odd to have a job where I'm not constantly worried that I suck or that I'm about to get fired.

Having a car is awesome.  I love it.  The only thing I can complain about is the gas mileage but that seems to be improving so I'm not too worried.  There are definitely moments where I completely panic about it and think things like OMG I can't afford this and I need to just give the car back or something and what was I thinking this was a gigantic mistake . . . but I know that's just me being me, because worrying is what I do.

There are things I miss about the bus.  I miss a few of the drivers, and in a way I miss the schedule . . . I've been 5 minutes late to work every day since I got the car because I just can't seem to get the timing right, which is lame.  And I miss my morning downtime.  I didn't realize how nice it was to leave the house and then have 40 minutes to just kind of veg out and listen to music on the bus before I got to work.  Without that I feel like I just go go go in the mornings, which isn't really a bad thing, it's just an adjustment.

Last Friday Jerbs was off so after I got off work, we spent the day together.  We had lunch at Karma (a sushi place downtown), wandered around the downtown area, then bought some bread and picked up Max and went to the lakes near our house to feed the ducks and let Max enjoy himself.  It was so much fun.  Max peed on just about everything, chased some ducks, and spent a good chunk of his time begging us for chunks of bread.  That dog, I swear.

But Max's weirdness aside (and who am I kidding, I love that he's weird) it was an awesome day.  I felt happy, and I realized after we got home from the pond that not once that day had I thought, "This would have been better with Corey."  I think I'm genuinely starting to get over it.  That's a strange feeling but a good one, and I don't know if I really am getting over it or if this is just kind of a phase (because I've kinda felt like this before).  At any rate I just wanted to mention that.

I'm going to Kingman this weekend to visit my family.  I planned to go because it was supposed to be Austin's last T-ball game of the season and I really wanted to see him play, but for whatever reason the last 2 games were canceled.  I'm bummed because I was really excited to see him play.  Austin is counting down the days until I get there . . . today it was only 2 more sleeps!  I think it's totally precious how he measures time in sleeps.  Too adorable.  I just love him and I'm looking forward to seeing him.

Weigh In # 6 (2013)

The alternate titles to this post were: "Weight Up, Spirits Down" and "Wake Up Call."

Yep.  My weight today was around 189 and in the past few days has fluctuated between 188 and 191.

Blech.

Enough.

Yesterday I tried on a couple pairs of pants at the mall and I was absolutely appalled at how I looked in the big dressing room mirrors.  I look . . . big.  I don't think I'd realized how bad it had gotten.  But I look awful.  And I feel like shit too.

I find this all so freaking frustrating.  I have accomplished so many other things but this--physical fitness, weight loss, etc--is the thing I just can't seem to do.  I don't get this about myself.  I don't get why it's so damn difficult for me.  And it's worse because I was doing well, or at least better than I had been, until that whole thyroid thing happened.  I really feel like that was the start of this little downward spiral.  I was so exhausted all the time that I started drinking more Dr. Pepper and I couldn't exercise and it just . . . went from there.

It's really the diet part I have issues with.  Sometimes it's difficult to get the momentum to go work out but once I'm doing it, I enjoy it.  But the diet part . . . that's where I get hung up.  It's just so hard to not eat fast food.

So I decided no more.  It's time to buckle down and get serious about this.  For real.  Today I went grocery shopping and focused on healthier foods.  My goals this week are to not eat out, reduce Dr. Pepper (I refuse to just cold turkey quit soda . . . I'm not going to put myself or the people who have to deal with me on a daily basis through that because it would not be pretty), and work out as much as I can.

I didn't do well on food today, but I did go running.  There's a pond near our house with ducks and stuff, so I jogged while Jerbs walked Max and fed the ducks.  It was hard but it felt good at the same time, and I'm hoping to do it again tomorrow.

My determination feels a little renewed.  I feel like I've kind of snapped out of that funk I was in during the thyroid thing, both mentally and physically.  I'm not stepping on the scale again for another two weeks and hopefully I'll see results.