I swear, I thought of a good subtitle for this and of course didn't write it down and have now forgotten it. Bummer.
At any rate, I can't believe it's New Year's Eve. It's just a little bit mind blowing that 2013 is almost over! It has been quite a year for me. Probably the best year of my adult life thus far.
I got a job right at the beginning of the year, and in about two weeks I'll be having my first yearly eval there. I am so incredibly happy with where I work I can't even tell you. I genuinely don't mind going to work anymore, and I'm so glad to be able to support myself financially. Having the job I have now makes me feel like a functioning adult and it's glorious.
I turned 28 in February. Twenty. Eight. It sounds so close to 30 it freaks me out a little. Kinda dreading the 29 coming up here soon, but I don't really get a choice in the matter, do I? I also bought a bed in February, and it felt awesome to drag my crappy old air mattress down to the dumpster.
In March I adopted Max. As much of a pain in the ass as he is sometimes, I think it was a good move. Just like with Benji, it's been very rewarding and heart warming to watch Max go from being scared and skinny to being friendly and sweet and playful. His hair is all fluffy now and he plays fetch and sits and shakes hands, and he loves me and Jerbs. Strangers he's still iffy around but he's getting there. I love Max. Not as much as I love Benji, I'll admit that, but still, I love him.
In May I bought a car, and that was probably the biggest thing that happened to me this year. Not just because I got a car but because I did it on my own. It made me feel so incredibly strong and independent to be able to buy it, and I cherish that feeling every time I get behind the wheel. I love my car.
Also in May, just a few days after I bought the car, I hit the one year mark of being single. I didn't care as much as I thought I would, but still, it wasn't a milestone I ever thought I'd get to. I thought I'd be back in Kingman with my ex within 6 months of moving out, so getting to a year without him was weird. It's weird now, to think it's been a year and a half. Maybe by the two year anniversary I'll really be over it.
In June I saw Neil Gaiman and it was awesome!
July marked one year of being back in Flagstaff. That felt like an even bigger milestone than a year of being single. It was difficult to think of the year away from my family; I felt bitter that day, and angry. Then just a few days after I saw my ex for the first time in almost a year, which was really more of an irritation than anything. I consciously kept him at arm's length while he was here; I'm sure I came across as cold and uncaring, and there are moments now when I regret that. Sometimes I think I should have told him, while he was here, how I still feel about him, but more often than not, I'm glad he got to see me not giving a shit. I'm glad he got to see the better me.
Independence Day was probably my favorite day of the whole summer, because of the company and everything else.
In August I climbed a fucking mountain, and it was awesome. I'm looking forward to doing it again in 2014.
The holiday season was challenging for all the same reasons as last year, and while I was more mentally healthy and therefore able to handle it a little better this year, I wouldn't say that it was easier. I missed my ex, plain and simple, and I felt a lot of anger about being single and away from my family and everything. But I survived and that's all that matters, and maybe next Christmas it actually will get easier.
Throughout the year I got more and more mentally healthy. I took my medicine all year (with a few random hiccups but nothing huge), I went to my doctor's appointments, and got my labs done when I needed to; I've never been such a compliant psych patient before. 2013 was full of little moments that made me realize just how far I've come in my battle against bipolar disorder, and for that, I will always and forever cherish this year. There are still days where I find myself in complete disbelief at how much better I am now. I go back through old Facebook statuses or Twitter updates, from when I was sick, and I can't believe what a difference there is. I can't believe I used to live that way. Being mentally healthy makes me feel almost invincible. I know now that I can do whatever I put my mind to, that no goal I set is outside of my reach. And it's all because I'm mentally healthy.
Related to mental health, I also made a lot of progress as far as getting over my ex. That whole situation was something that was on my mind a lot in 2013, and I feel like how I think of it now vs. how I thought of it at the start of the year are completely different. I feel like I've come to really understand how bad I was and how much I put my ex through; I can see my behavior from a perspective of being mentally healthy, and I get it. I totally get it. And I'm ashamed of that part of my past, and I think that guilt will be something I'll grapple with for awhile yet. But at the same time, it feels healthy to have reached this point. I also kind of realized this year how very in control of fixing things I was back then, and that if I had done what I was supposed to do as far as treatment, maybe I'd still be with him. At the same time, though, this year I found myself frequently thinking that I needed to get better on my own if I was going to do it at all. I don't know . . . I'm torn, and I think both are a little bit true, if that's possible.
I would also say that my views on love, romance, and relationships have changed a lot this year, mostly in the sense that now I feel confident in my ability to be loved. I finally, finally feel like I'm capable of having an adult relationship and being with someone the way you should be with someone as an adult, if that makes sense.
This year had its fails too. Mostly I'm disappointed in my weight. I was so determined at the beginning of 2013 that I'd finish the year weighing at least 40 pounds less than at the start of the year, but I'll be starting 2014 about 11 pounds heavier. But I tell myself that 2013 was a year to focus on mental health, which I did, and which I succeeded at, and now 2014 will be a year to focus on physical health.
Normally I feel a little sad at New Year, because it's an end. 2013 is about to become the past, and for whatever reason, that has just always made me sad. But this year, I find myself really looking forward to the new year, to 2014. I think the past couple years of turmoil and transition have made me really appreciate any opportunity for a fresh start--even if it's a mostly symbolic one, like new year. I'm going into this year happy, healthy, and hopeful, and that's tremendous and amazing and I am so damn proud of myself for it!
So goodbye 2013. You were beautiful and wonderful and I will remember you fondly.
Showing posts with label 2013. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 2013. Show all posts
12.31.2013
12.26.2013
Christmas 2013
Oh, Christmas. I was both really really looking forward to it and really really dreading it this year. I'm glad it's over but at the same time I'm so depressed to be back in Flagstaff, and I wish I could live yesterday again. I'm really torn over it, because I love my family and I miss them so freaking much but good Lord they all drive me insane sometimes.
Mostly the petty arguing. There are only 5 people in my family (5 adults, I'm not counting Austin) and we all have quick tempers. Sometimes we all just get a little snippy with one another, and I think I'm just not used to it anymore since I don't live it everyday, y'know? But still, I had a good time, and I was happy to see everyone.
On Monday, I had to work, which royally sucked. I went in early and took a short lunch and was able to leave a little early. Then I came home and had to give Benji a bath and get the car all loaded up and all that, so we ended up leaving later than intended. We got to Kingman around 9 PM, I believe. Hung out with my mom and Jill and Austin, went to Jerbs' house and gave her parents their gifts, hung out with Austin some more, etc. (OMG, Max was SO excited to see Austin! He completely flipped his shit, it was hilarious). After Austin went to bed I was so ready to crash, but my sister made me stay up and wrap Santa gifts with her. (I am awesome at gift wrapping, her . . . not so much). It was fun, though. It's kind of cool to share these experiences as adults, if that makes sense--helping her play Santa for her kids when we used to wait up for Santa together. It's a sentimental full circle thing, I suppose.
Then I went to bed, and on Christmas Eve, we did some shopping and just kind of hung out at my sister's house. That evening the whole family went out to look at Christmas lights. We all managed to fit in my car--my dad was a trooper and sat in "the hatch"--and it was fun. There are always some really good light displays in Kingman.
After that we went back to my sister's and we all got to open one gift (Christmas Eve tradition). Austin chose the big gift I brought him, which was the blanket I made him in a box. This is when things started going downhill, because he was visibly disappointed that it was a blanket and not a big fancy toy. Like, his face fell. It was upsetting. Not necessarily because it hurt my feelings, which is whatever, but because it's sad to see how spoiled he is and how rude he is sometimes. I mean, I know he's only 5 but still. A little disheartening.
After he was in bed my sisters and I put out all the Santa gifts and I made it look like Santa ate his cookies and all that, and I wrote Austin's Santa letter. When I was a kid, every Christmas, "Santa" left my sisters and I a note, basically thanking us for the cookies and reindeer treats and telling us to keep being good, etc. I love writing the ones for Austin, because my hope is that someday, when he's older and knows that I wrote them, he'll re-read them and hear things I wanted to say to him, if that makes sense.
Man, that kid got spoiled for Christmas. He got a 32 inch TV and an internet tablet. I just . . . I don't even really know how to say. I didn't really enjoy watching him on Christmas morning. He just tore through everything in like 15 minutes, and just . . . I don't know. To me, a flat screen TV and a tablet are 110% unnecessary for a freaking 5 year old. I don't like it. I understand that my sister has money, and we didn't growing up, and I'm sure she also feels guilty about being a single mom who works a lot or whatever, but still. I feel like when we were kids there was a much deeper meaning to Christmas. We weren't a religious family, and we always got presents from Santa, but we were also always taught that Christmas was a time to be with family and love each other and be grateful for what we had. And to give as well, because I remember always giving donations to the food bank at Christmas time and taking kids' names off the angel trees. Austin's getting none of that. No gratitude, no family appreciation, no giving spirit, just be marginally well behaved and get shit loads of expensive toys. It's depressing, and I don't agree with how he's being brought up.
But that's just me. I'm not his mother. And he is a good kid, but still, it all seemed like overkill.
He did like the Santa letter, though, and hopefully, someday, that'll mean something to him.
After the super quick gift opening, I went back to bed in my sister's room, because I was exhausted and it was early and I had to drive back to Flag that night. I think my sisters were a little annoyed with me but I wasn't going to risk crashing my car on the way home!
My parents came over later in the afternoon, after my dad was off work, and we exchanged gifts. I was surprised because one sister got me the nail lamp I wanted, and my mom and other sister got me this personalized pen that has my name on it and came in a case engraved with a quote I like. My family all liked their gifts as well, which is always nice.
Austin cried when I had to leave, which is always heartbreaking, but at the same time, I hope it taught him something. He ignored me all day for his new toys and I kept telling him I'd be leaving soon and he shrugged it off, but once I was actually getting in the car he started bawling. I hate to see him cry, but like I said, maybe this time it was a little bit of a lesson. I picked up Jerbs and said good bye to her parents, and then we gassed up the car (for a LOT cheaper than here in Flag!) and headed home.
It was nice to get home. Not nice to be away from my family, but nice to climb into my own bed and just relax. I'm a homebody, and I like being in my own space.
Needless to say, I didn't want to go to work today. At all. Going to Kingman always leaves me in a little bit of a funk. Not in a good way or a bad way, just . . . a funk. So I was a little off all day long.
But. All in all I'd say this year was better than last year. It was nice to be able to drive to Kingman and do the trip on my own terms, as opposed to last year with all the Greyhound drama. It was nice to be able to actually give my family presents, because I actually have a job this year. It was nice that Jerbs got to come, because she hasn't been home for Christmas in years.
And weirdly, one of the best things was that Benji was there. I remember freaking out last Christmas about going home on the bus because I couldn't bring Benji, because I was totally convinced it was going to be his last Christmas, and I wanted to spend it with him. I'm glad I was wrong, and this Christmas, I held him a lot and my family all held him, and it was nice. I'm grateful that I got that. I'm certain that this Christmas really was his last, and I've struggled with that a lot the past few days. But that's for another post.
Goodnight!
12.15.2013
Weigh In # Whatever (2013)
Weight: 192.8
BMI: 34.1
Last time I weighed myself was November 15th, and at that time I weighed 193.8. So I've lost a pound in a month.
That's not super impressive. But it's a small step in the right direction, I guess.
I've been very off and on with the dieting thing lately. Some days I do really well with food, other days . . . yeah, not so much. And I haven't been to the gym in I don't even know how long. It's just . . . I don't know. I usually feel so drained after work that exercising sounds like the worst idea ever. I need to figure out how to combat that.
Anyway, for the rest of December I'm going to keep focusing on food. My goal for the rest of the month is to stay within my calorie goal on MyFitnessPal every day. My plan is to go back to the gym in January, at which point I'm going to redo my membership. My insurance (BCBS) has a promotion thing where you can join various gyms through them, and signing up like that would save me like $20 a month, so that'll be nice.
When I do go back to the gym I'm going to take it easy for awhile . . . I think I'll do a yoga class once a week for a bit and then add in some cardio.
This is my last weigh in for 2013, and it's super depressing that I'm finishing the year higher than I started it. I was so determined back in January. Hopefully I can get my shit together and get on it this coming year, and hopefully my January weigh in will reflect that.
BMI: 34.1
Last time I weighed myself was November 15th, and at that time I weighed 193.8. So I've lost a pound in a month.
That's not super impressive. But it's a small step in the right direction, I guess.
I've been very off and on with the dieting thing lately. Some days I do really well with food, other days . . . yeah, not so much. And I haven't been to the gym in I don't even know how long. It's just . . . I don't know. I usually feel so drained after work that exercising sounds like the worst idea ever. I need to figure out how to combat that.
Anyway, for the rest of December I'm going to keep focusing on food. My goal for the rest of the month is to stay within my calorie goal on MyFitnessPal every day. My plan is to go back to the gym in January, at which point I'm going to redo my membership. My insurance (BCBS) has a promotion thing where you can join various gyms through them, and signing up like that would save me like $20 a month, so that'll be nice.
When I do go back to the gym I'm going to take it easy for awhile . . . I think I'll do a yoga class once a week for a bit and then add in some cardio.
This is my last weigh in for 2013, and it's super depressing that I'm finishing the year higher than I started it. I was so determined back in January. Hopefully I can get my shit together and get on it this coming year, and hopefully my January weigh in will reflect that.
11.28.2013
Thanksgiving 2013
This was dinner:
Jerbs and I ordered a pre-made Thanksgiving dinner from Sprouts this year, because we decided we didn't feel like cooking, crockpot or otherwise. We got a turkey breast (because we definitely didn't need a whole turkey for just the two of us), stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, broccoli au gratin, cranberry sauce, and dinner rolls for $29.99. Plus we got a free pie (apple) that we didn't know about until we picked up our dinner! I didn't try the rolls or the cranberry sauce but the rest of it was delicious. I was impressed, especially considering that all we had to do was throw everything in the microwave for a few minutes. The broccoli au gratin was really, really good.
That plate in the picture was actually round 2, which took place after the nap that happened after round 1.
I love Thanksgiving.
Other than eating and hanging out with Jerbs I've just been working on some Christmas shopping lists and stuff. I'm so excited that I'm off until Monday! Now if only Jerbs didn't have to work for Black Friday, things would be perfect.
I'm not going Black Friday shopping tomorrow, by which I mean I'm not getting up at a ridiculous hour and standing in a ridiculous line to buy anything. (Seriously, to get me out of bed for Black Friday, the deal would have to be something along the lines of sex with Adam Levine for a dollar). But I'm going to go do some shopping at a more normal hour, because it's payday and I need crap. JoAnns is having some sales I want to hit up on Saturday, so I might get up a smidge early for that, but we'll see.
Anyway. So that was my Thanksgiving. Lazy and relaxing with good food--that's just what I wanted!
Jerbs and I ordered a pre-made Thanksgiving dinner from Sprouts this year, because we decided we didn't feel like cooking, crockpot or otherwise. We got a turkey breast (because we definitely didn't need a whole turkey for just the two of us), stuffing, mashed potatoes and gravy, broccoli au gratin, cranberry sauce, and dinner rolls for $29.99. Plus we got a free pie (apple) that we didn't know about until we picked up our dinner! I didn't try the rolls or the cranberry sauce but the rest of it was delicious. I was impressed, especially considering that all we had to do was throw everything in the microwave for a few minutes. The broccoli au gratin was really, really good.
That plate in the picture was actually round 2, which took place after the nap that happened after round 1.
I love Thanksgiving.
Other than eating and hanging out with Jerbs I've just been working on some Christmas shopping lists and stuff. I'm so excited that I'm off until Monday! Now if only Jerbs didn't have to work for Black Friday, things would be perfect.
I'm not going Black Friday shopping tomorrow, by which I mean I'm not getting up at a ridiculous hour and standing in a ridiculous line to buy anything. (Seriously, to get me out of bed for Black Friday, the deal would have to be something along the lines of sex with Adam Levine for a dollar). But I'm going to go do some shopping at a more normal hour, because it's payday and I need crap. JoAnns is having some sales I want to hit up on Saturday, so I might get up a smidge early for that, but we'll see.
Anyway. So that was my Thanksgiving. Lazy and relaxing with good food--that's just what I wanted!
11.07.2013
Thankful Thursday
Today I'm thankful for . . .
--My family. Of course this goes without saying and I'm always grateful for them, but when I think of being thankful, they're my first thought. This past weekend's visit to Kingman was a good reminder of this. I'm thankful to my mom and dad for just generally being very loving and supportive parents. I'm thankful that I get to see them as grandparents, because it really is one of the most amazing things to watch. I'm thankful for my sisters: Jenny because she's an inspiration in that she balances being a single mom and an amazing RN, and because I'm just so proud of her, and Jillian because she's the only person in my family I can really talk to about artistic pursuits (which is why she's one of my beta readers for my writing, always). And this year I'm especially thankful for Austin, because he's just at such a great, fun age, and I literally can't be anything but happy when I'm around him.
--Jerbs. Oh Jerbs. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's such an integral part of my life that I don't even know how to put it into words, really. I'm glad I don't have to live alone, and I'm glad to have her as a friend. I'm glad she's been such a tremendous support system through both recovering from my mental issues and my breakup. When it comes to those things I don't know what I'd have done without her.
That's it for today! More next Thursday!
--My family. Of course this goes without saying and I'm always grateful for them, but when I think of being thankful, they're my first thought. This past weekend's visit to Kingman was a good reminder of this. I'm thankful to my mom and dad for just generally being very loving and supportive parents. I'm thankful that I get to see them as grandparents, because it really is one of the most amazing things to watch. I'm thankful for my sisters: Jenny because she's an inspiration in that she balances being a single mom and an amazing RN, and because I'm just so proud of her, and Jillian because she's the only person in my family I can really talk to about artistic pursuits (which is why she's one of my beta readers for my writing, always). And this year I'm especially thankful for Austin, because he's just at such a great, fun age, and I literally can't be anything but happy when I'm around him.
--Jerbs. Oh Jerbs. I don't know what I'd do without her. She's such an integral part of my life that I don't even know how to put it into words, really. I'm glad I don't have to live alone, and I'm glad to have her as a friend. I'm glad she's been such a tremendous support system through both recovering from my mental issues and my breakup. When it comes to those things I don't know what I'd have done without her.
That's it for today! More next Thursday!
10.31.2013
Halloween 2013
This Halloween was pretty uneventful.
I had to work, and the night before
work, I got an anonymous Halloween gift from a co-worker (I know who
it was, though) and it was kind of part of a chain thing, so I had to
get two other co-workers gifts. And the gifts kind of gave me some
Halloween spirit so at the last minute I signed up to bring pumpkin
chocoloate chip cookies to the Halloween pot luck at work. In the
process of signing up I kind of got roped into bringing some “real
food” as well.
So I went straight from the work to the
store and bought stuff for my gift bags, ingredients for my cookies,
and ingredients for a baked potato soup I found online. I figured
soup was fairly simple, and I could put it in my crockpot to keep
warm at the party.
As soon as I got home I started on the
soup. It was pretty easy after the chopping and peeling type stuff
was done, and Jerbs helped me a lot. Once that was done I made the
cookies, and then I put my gift bags together. By the time I
finished everything it was time for bed, and I was exhausted, and my
legs were absolutely killing me after being in heels all freaking day
long. I pretty much fell into bed and didn't sleep all that well.
Halloween itself wasn't bad. My soup
and cookies were a hit and my gift bags were too. I won't lie,
though, I felt like I got hit by a damn truck all day long. My legs
hurt from the heels thing (I definitely wore flats on Halloween), and
I was completley exhausted. I think never having any actual, legit
down time the day before really hurt my sleep cycle. I'm definitely
the type of person who needs to just veg out for a while and unwind
after work before I go to bed.
After work I came home determined to
not give in to taking a nap, but after a couple hours, I just
couldn't help it. Jerbs was sick so she laid down too, and we both
pretty much took like 3 hour naps. It was actually pretty awesome.
I definitely wished I could have been
in Kingman, though, hanging out with Austin and taking him trick or
treating and handing out candy at my mom's.
But overall, not a bad Halloween.
10.02.2013
Weigh In # 10 (2013)
Weight: 194.0
BMI: 34.4
I'm home from work with a wretched migraine (and having anxiety attacks that I'm going to get fired for being a slacker because my mind is lovely) and randomly remembered I hadn't posted a blog entry.
I'm about to pass out so all I'm gong to say about September is that it wasn't my best, but I'll take it.
BMI: 34.4
I'm home from work with a wretched migraine (and having anxiety attacks that I'm going to get fired for being a slacker because my mind is lovely) and randomly remembered I hadn't posted a blog entry.
I'm about to pass out so all I'm gong to say about September is that it wasn't my best, but I'll take it.
9.01.2013
Weigh In # 9 (2013)
Weight: 195.8
BMI: 34.7
I really don't want to talk about August, actually. It wasn't a great month. I don't have any real excuses, either; the absolute fact is that I just didn't feel like working out or eating right. I wanted the food I always eat and I didn't want to go running or whatever. It sucked. I honestly don't know how to motivate myself anymore.
I keep hoping and hoping at the start of every month that this stuff will finally just *click*. Because at this point I think that's what needs to happen. So far nothing that I've tried as far as motivating myself has really worked so I think I just need to hit rock bottom and then something will just click.
A little while ago I cleaned out my purse and dug out all of the fast food/restaurant receipts I'd accumulated for the month of August. I didn't have every receipt from every fast food trip in there; some I know I've thrown out at work, some are probably in my car, and some have been tossed out with the bags the food came in. But I sat down and I added them up, and the total (and keep in mind that this is only most of it, not all of it) was $355.25
Ummmm . . . yeah, I don't think I even need to put into writing why that is disgusting/unacceptable/shameful/destructive/counter productive. That's more than my car payment and car insurance payment combined. It's about the amount of those two things plus a tank of gas, actually.
I'm destroying my body and my bank account simultaneously by doing this month after month.
Seeing that number was a wake up call. I mean, obviously I knew I was over spending on this crap but . . . I didn't really realize it was that bad.
So this month, I'm going to go grocery shopping every week, and maybe do a little menu planning (I don't cook so I don't really see the point of menu planning). I'm also going to (obviously) work out as much as possible. One thing I realized in August is that going to the gym on my lunch break works pretty well for me, because I get in a good work out and then don't have to worry about it once I get home, plus it means I'm actually tired by bed time, which is nice.
Hopefully this is my month. I'm definitely going to try my best to make it my month.
BMI: 34.7
I really don't want to talk about August, actually. It wasn't a great month. I don't have any real excuses, either; the absolute fact is that I just didn't feel like working out or eating right. I wanted the food I always eat and I didn't want to go running or whatever. It sucked. I honestly don't know how to motivate myself anymore.
I keep hoping and hoping at the start of every month that this stuff will finally just *click*. Because at this point I think that's what needs to happen. So far nothing that I've tried as far as motivating myself has really worked so I think I just need to hit rock bottom and then something will just click.
A little while ago I cleaned out my purse and dug out all of the fast food/restaurant receipts I'd accumulated for the month of August. I didn't have every receipt from every fast food trip in there; some I know I've thrown out at work, some are probably in my car, and some have been tossed out with the bags the food came in. But I sat down and I added them up, and the total (and keep in mind that this is only most of it, not all of it) was $355.25
Ummmm . . . yeah, I don't think I even need to put into writing why that is disgusting/unacceptable/shameful/destructive/counter productive. That's more than my car payment and car insurance payment combined. It's about the amount of those two things plus a tank of gas, actually.
I'm destroying my body and my bank account simultaneously by doing this month after month.
Seeing that number was a wake up call. I mean, obviously I knew I was over spending on this crap but . . . I didn't really realize it was that bad.
So this month, I'm going to go grocery shopping every week, and maybe do a little menu planning (I don't cook so I don't really see the point of menu planning). I'm also going to (obviously) work out as much as possible. One thing I realized in August is that going to the gym on my lunch break works pretty well for me, because I get in a good work out and then don't have to worry about it once I get home, plus it means I'm actually tired by bed time, which is nice.
Hopefully this is my month. I'm definitely going to try my best to make it my month.
8.03.2013
Weigh In # 8 (2013)
This is going to be quick because I feel like total poo, both mentally and physically.
195.2 pounds. Which means a loss of 3.8 pounds in July. Not too terribly impressive but still a start, right?
(And I don't know what's wrong with the little MyFitnessPal ticker on the side of the blog . . . I can't get it to reflect the loss despite resetting it quite a few times so . . . whatevs).
I also ran 5.75 miles in July, which again, doesn't sound like much, but still, a great start.
So August goals are to keep running and take a few classes at my gym. I want to try boxing and get back to yoga. I'm hiking 7 miles on the 17th, too, and I feel like that'll do me some good fitness wise. (IF I survive it . . . it's up Snowbowl so . . . we'll see how that goes).
Anyway. That's about it. I don't know wtf is wrong with me but I'm kind of a mess at the moment . . . I just feel totally disengaged and off and I can't explain it. I think that's probably for another entry but . . . yeah.
6.30.2013
Worth The Phoenix Heat
I don't think it would surprise anyone who reads my blog or knows me to know that I hate Phoenix in the summer time. In general I don't go to Phoenix very often but I especially try to avoid it between April and September.
BUT this past Wednesday, Neil Gaiman(!) made a stop in Phoenix on his book tour, and of course, Jerbs and I agreed that a reading and signing with him was way worth the trip and the potential heat stroke. We actually found out about and bought tickets for this even way back in, like, February, so we'd been looking forward to it for quite awhile. (Plus I got to take a random day off work AND I got paid for it! First paid day off ever in my life).
Overall, it was a pretty quick trip. We got to Phoenix around lunch time and met up with a good friend of ours from college, B, and hung out with her for a bit. We had lunch and stopped at this awesome nail supply store that sells mostly to salons but is open to the public; they have high end polish for dirt cheap. I may have ended up leaving with 5 bottles of polish . . . it was awesome. (And also, B apparently reads this, so hi B!!) After that we stopped at a Barnes and Noble because I needed to buy something for the signing, since all of my books are still boxed up back in Kingman (which ended up being more depressing than expected as the book I really wanted to bring was out of stock at every B and N here and in Phoenix). I bought his new book, the one he's on tour for.
There was a MASSIVE amount of people at the signing. By the time we got to the high school where it was taking place there was already a gigantic line to get in. And we were there about 5 minutes before they even opened the doors. We were still able to get decent seats, though. The reading and Q/A portion were absolutely fantastic. My favorite part of these things (we've been to 2 tour events for him before) is the reading. Neil Gaiman is a fantastic reader, and when he's reading his own work, there is something about it that is just mesmerizing. Plus he's a genuinely kind and funny guy, so the Q/A session was very entertaining. My personal favorite was him telling the story about how his book Stardust was actually inspired/conceived in Tucson. I didn't know that, and it was cool to hear.
The signing part of things was less awesome. The way they did the signing was in alphabetically assigned groups; each ticket had a letter on it and that was the group you were in for the signing. Jerbs and I were Q. (Which actually wasn't so bad, considering that there were so many people there they'd actually gone through the alphabet once and had to start on double letters after, and the guy we were sitting next to had CC as his group). The signing started around 8, and the people running the event kept saying things were going to go really quickly and blah blah blah which . . . wasn't really the case. By 10 I was starting to panic a little, because I didn't want to get home super late and then have to work in the morning. At 10:45 Jerbs and I left, hit a drive thru for dinner, and came back. Finally at 11:30 they called Q and we got to get in line. We both got our books signed but they were really rushing things so neither of us got to talk to Neil or anything, which was disappointing.
Honestly, though (and I know this sounds creepy, probably) it's incredibly inspiring for me to just stand in his presence. Not in a stalker way, because I'm definitely not stalking him. It's more like an admiration thing. This is a man who is a truly great writer and storyteller, who does what I want to do--he writes beautiful things, and because of the things he writes, over a thousand people are willing to pile into an auditorium and wait hours on end for him to scribble his name on a book for them. It is truly amazing to me, and it makes me want to work on my own writing and hope that I can be a fraction as successful as him.
Anyway. By the time we got gas and got on the road it was after midnight. Then about 60 miles out of Flagstaff we hit some kind of construction (a blast zone, I think, because they're widening the road) and were literally just stopped for about 20 minutes. We finally got home at 2:45 AM, and I think we were both asleep by 3 AM.
Which made my alarm going off at 6:30 AM about the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Not really, but damn, it felt that way at the time! I don't even know how I survived work, but I do know that I drank 2 bottles of Starbucks frappuccino (they brought back the caramel flavor in the bottles!) and 2 cups of coffee from the pot at work, and came home too wound up to crash.
But it was worth it. Well worth it, both for getting to visit with an old friend and, of course, for Neil Gaiman.
BUT this past Wednesday, Neil Gaiman(!) made a stop in Phoenix on his book tour, and of course, Jerbs and I agreed that a reading and signing with him was way worth the trip and the potential heat stroke. We actually found out about and bought tickets for this even way back in, like, February, so we'd been looking forward to it for quite awhile. (Plus I got to take a random day off work AND I got paid for it! First paid day off ever in my life).
Overall, it was a pretty quick trip. We got to Phoenix around lunch time and met up with a good friend of ours from college, B, and hung out with her for a bit. We had lunch and stopped at this awesome nail supply store that sells mostly to salons but is open to the public; they have high end polish for dirt cheap. I may have ended up leaving with 5 bottles of polish . . . it was awesome. (And also, B apparently reads this, so hi B!!) After that we stopped at a Barnes and Noble because I needed to buy something for the signing, since all of my books are still boxed up back in Kingman (which ended up being more depressing than expected as the book I really wanted to bring was out of stock at every B and N here and in Phoenix). I bought his new book, the one he's on tour for.
There was a MASSIVE amount of people at the signing. By the time we got to the high school where it was taking place there was already a gigantic line to get in. And we were there about 5 minutes before they even opened the doors. We were still able to get decent seats, though. The reading and Q/A portion were absolutely fantastic. My favorite part of these things (we've been to 2 tour events for him before) is the reading. Neil Gaiman is a fantastic reader, and when he's reading his own work, there is something about it that is just mesmerizing. Plus he's a genuinely kind and funny guy, so the Q/A session was very entertaining. My personal favorite was him telling the story about how his book Stardust was actually inspired/conceived in Tucson. I didn't know that, and it was cool to hear.
The signing part of things was less awesome. The way they did the signing was in alphabetically assigned groups; each ticket had a letter on it and that was the group you were in for the signing. Jerbs and I were Q. (Which actually wasn't so bad, considering that there were so many people there they'd actually gone through the alphabet once and had to start on double letters after, and the guy we were sitting next to had CC as his group). The signing started around 8, and the people running the event kept saying things were going to go really quickly and blah blah blah which . . . wasn't really the case. By 10 I was starting to panic a little, because I didn't want to get home super late and then have to work in the morning. At 10:45 Jerbs and I left, hit a drive thru for dinner, and came back. Finally at 11:30 they called Q and we got to get in line. We both got our books signed but they were really rushing things so neither of us got to talk to Neil or anything, which was disappointing.
Honestly, though (and I know this sounds creepy, probably) it's incredibly inspiring for me to just stand in his presence. Not in a stalker way, because I'm definitely not stalking him. It's more like an admiration thing. This is a man who is a truly great writer and storyteller, who does what I want to do--he writes beautiful things, and because of the things he writes, over a thousand people are willing to pile into an auditorium and wait hours on end for him to scribble his name on a book for them. It is truly amazing to me, and it makes me want to work on my own writing and hope that I can be a fraction as successful as him.
Anyway. By the time we got gas and got on the road it was after midnight. Then about 60 miles out of Flagstaff we hit some kind of construction (a blast zone, I think, because they're widening the road) and were literally just stopped for about 20 minutes. We finally got home at 2:45 AM, and I think we were both asleep by 3 AM.
Which made my alarm going off at 6:30 AM about the worst thing that had ever happened to me. Not really, but damn, it felt that way at the time! I don't even know how I survived work, but I do know that I drank 2 bottles of Starbucks frappuccino (they brought back the caramel flavor in the bottles!) and 2 cups of coffee from the pot at work, and came home too wound up to crash.
But it was worth it. Well worth it, both for getting to visit with an old friend and, of course, for Neil Gaiman.
6.01.2013
Weigh In # 6 (2013)
The alternate titles to this post were: "Weight Up, Spirits Down" and "Wake Up Call."
Yep. My weight today was around 189 and in the past few days has fluctuated between 188 and 191.
Blech.
Enough.
Yesterday I tried on a couple pairs of pants at the mall and I was absolutely appalled at how I looked in the big dressing room mirrors. I look . . . big. I don't think I'd realized how bad it had gotten. But I look awful. And I feel like shit too.
I find this all so freaking frustrating. I have accomplished so many other things but this--physical fitness, weight loss, etc--is the thing I just can't seem to do. I don't get this about myself. I don't get why it's so damn difficult for me. And it's worse because I was doing well, or at least better than I had been, until that whole thyroid thing happened. I really feel like that was the start of this little downward spiral. I was so exhausted all the time that I started drinking more Dr. Pepper and I couldn't exercise and it just . . . went from there.
It's really the diet part I have issues with. Sometimes it's difficult to get the momentum to go work out but once I'm doing it, I enjoy it. But the diet part . . . that's where I get hung up. It's just so hard to not eat fast food.
So I decided no more. It's time to buckle down and get serious about this. For real. Today I went grocery shopping and focused on healthier foods. My goals this week are to not eat out, reduce Dr. Pepper (I refuse to just cold turkey quit soda . . . I'm not going to put myself or the people who have to deal with me on a daily basis through that because it would not be pretty), and work out as much as I can.
I didn't do well on food today, but I did go running. There's a pond near our house with ducks and stuff, so I jogged while Jerbs walked Max and fed the ducks. It was hard but it felt good at the same time, and I'm hoping to do it again tomorrow.
My determination feels a little renewed. I feel like I've kind of snapped out of that funk I was in during the thyroid thing, both mentally and physically. I'm not stepping on the scale again for another two weeks and hopefully I'll see results.
Yep. My weight today was around 189 and in the past few days has fluctuated between 188 and 191.
Blech.
Enough.
Yesterday I tried on a couple pairs of pants at the mall and I was absolutely appalled at how I looked in the big dressing room mirrors. I look . . . big. I don't think I'd realized how bad it had gotten. But I look awful. And I feel like shit too.
I find this all so freaking frustrating. I have accomplished so many other things but this--physical fitness, weight loss, etc--is the thing I just can't seem to do. I don't get this about myself. I don't get why it's so damn difficult for me. And it's worse because I was doing well, or at least better than I had been, until that whole thyroid thing happened. I really feel like that was the start of this little downward spiral. I was so exhausted all the time that I started drinking more Dr. Pepper and I couldn't exercise and it just . . . went from there.
It's really the diet part I have issues with. Sometimes it's difficult to get the momentum to go work out but once I'm doing it, I enjoy it. But the diet part . . . that's where I get hung up. It's just so hard to not eat fast food.
So I decided no more. It's time to buckle down and get serious about this. For real. Today I went grocery shopping and focused on healthier foods. My goals this week are to not eat out, reduce Dr. Pepper (I refuse to just cold turkey quit soda . . . I'm not going to put myself or the people who have to deal with me on a daily basis through that because it would not be pretty), and work out as much as I can.
I didn't do well on food today, but I did go running. There's a pond near our house with ducks and stuff, so I jogged while Jerbs walked Max and fed the ducks. It was hard but it felt good at the same time, and I'm hoping to do it again tomorrow.
My determination feels a little renewed. I feel like I've kind of snapped out of that funk I was in during the thyroid thing, both mentally and physically. I'm not stepping on the scale again for another two weeks and hopefully I'll see results.
2.10.2013
The Big Two Eight
Today is my birthday!
As of this afternoon, I am officially 28. Twenty.freaking.eight. I cannot even begin to tell you how weird it is to say that. It's just . . . I don't know.
I think that when we're kids, and teenagers, and even when we're young adults, we expect adulthood to feel really distinctly different from childhood and teenhood and collegehood and all those other stages. I think we all expect there to be a *moment* where we become real grown ups, and that we wait and wait for that moment, and then hit our late twenties and realize that we're definitely grown ups, but that that moment never came. Instead you just kind of somehow grow up. It's like driving somewhere without paying attention and arriving at your destination with no clue how you got there.
I think I definitely did that. I definitely thought I'd feel different now than I did when I was younger but . . . well, I really don't. I'm still the same person I was back in college, just a bit more polished and mature. I'm still awkward as ever, but I'm more confident now than I ever have been.
I actually like who I am right now.
There are things I'd change. There are things I'm working on changing. But overall, I like who I am. I am OK with me.
As for my birthday, it wasn't bad. I'm not too excited to be 28 because I like odd numbered ages better (I know that's weird, and I don't know why). I had to go grocery shopping today, in the snow; there was a lot on the ground and it came down steadily for most of the time I was out, which caused the buses to be massively behind schedule. Not so fun. But it all worked out and Jerbs was able to meet me for dinner, and we got home safely, so overall, it was a success.
I didn't get the one thing I really wanted, but then again I don't know that I really expected to, so I'm only a little disappointed.
And that's about it.
So hello, 28. Let's be good to one another.
As of this afternoon, I am officially 28. Twenty.freaking.eight. I cannot even begin to tell you how weird it is to say that. It's just . . . I don't know.
I think that when we're kids, and teenagers, and even when we're young adults, we expect adulthood to feel really distinctly different from childhood and teenhood and collegehood and all those other stages. I think we all expect there to be a *moment* where we become real grown ups, and that we wait and wait for that moment, and then hit our late twenties and realize that we're definitely grown ups, but that that moment never came. Instead you just kind of somehow grow up. It's like driving somewhere without paying attention and arriving at your destination with no clue how you got there.
I think I definitely did that. I definitely thought I'd feel different now than I did when I was younger but . . . well, I really don't. I'm still the same person I was back in college, just a bit more polished and mature. I'm still awkward as ever, but I'm more confident now than I ever have been.
I actually like who I am right now.
There are things I'd change. There are things I'm working on changing. But overall, I like who I am. I am OK with me.
As for my birthday, it wasn't bad. I'm not too excited to be 28 because I like odd numbered ages better (I know that's weird, and I don't know why). I had to go grocery shopping today, in the snow; there was a lot on the ground and it came down steadily for most of the time I was out, which caused the buses to be massively behind schedule. Not so fun. But it all worked out and Jerbs was able to meet me for dinner, and we got home safely, so overall, it was a success.
I didn't get the one thing I really wanted, but then again I don't know that I really expected to, so I'm only a little disappointed.
And that's about it.
So hello, 28. Let's be good to one another.
2.01.2013
Weigh In # 2 (2013)
Weight as of this morning: 176.0 pounds.
On January 1st I was at 181.6, which means that during the month of January, I lost 5.6 pounds!
I'm pretty dang happy with those results. It was pretty nice to see that # on the scale this morning!
I wish I could say I did super well diet/exercise this month, but . . . well, I really didn't. Particularly in exercise.
This month I did all right with altering my diet; I avoided fast food for almost half of the month, and while that's not too much, it's incredible for me. (I literally went about 7 years where I ate fast food every single day so this is an accomplishment for me). I think that's probably the reason I was able to actually lose weight this month. I also drank less Dr. Pepper in January, and drank a lot more water. Increasing my water intake has probably been the biggest change, and I can honestly say that I've never drank so much water in my life! I'm up to about 4 cups (2 bottles) a day. I've started to drink more Dr. Pepper since I started working, though, so hopefully I'll be able to keep it under control in February.
As far as exercising goes . . . I did not do nearly as well as I'd hoped. I was doing all right at the start of the month but then once I started working . . . not so much. It's just soooooo cold out by the time I get home that I really, really struggled with making myself walk over to the workout room. My first weekend from work I managed to exercise a little, but the second weekend, I was just wiped out and didn't have the energy. I think my saving grace this past month (the reason I lost weight) was all the walking I did. Having to work every day means that I'm walking every day--to the bus stop, from the bus stop to work, back to the bus stop, home, etc etc etc. And honestly, most mornings I run to the stop since I'm always running late, and that most definitely gets my heart rate up. Even though the bus sucks in the cold, I'm pretty grateful that it keeps me going like that, if that makes sense. I really need to look into joining the gym across the street from work (we get to join for free + a discount on the monthly price). I want to join, but I don't know if there's a process we have to go through or whatever. I always mean to ask someone at work but I get too caught up in whatever I'm doing for the day so . . . it doesn't happen.
So my goals for February are to join they gym, cut fast food out of my diet even more (my goal is less than 10 days with eating out), and keep reducing the Dr. Pepper and keep drinking water. I also want to do something physical every day, even if it's something small, like weights or an ab workout, or stretching.
I feel like I can accomplish all of that and then some this month! Hoping for a successful and productive February!
On January 1st I was at 181.6, which means that during the month of January, I lost 5.6 pounds!
I'm pretty dang happy with those results. It was pretty nice to see that # on the scale this morning!
I wish I could say I did super well diet/exercise this month, but . . . well, I really didn't. Particularly in exercise.
This month I did all right with altering my diet; I avoided fast food for almost half of the month, and while that's not too much, it's incredible for me. (I literally went about 7 years where I ate fast food every single day so this is an accomplishment for me). I think that's probably the reason I was able to actually lose weight this month. I also drank less Dr. Pepper in January, and drank a lot more water. Increasing my water intake has probably been the biggest change, and I can honestly say that I've never drank so much water in my life! I'm up to about 4 cups (2 bottles) a day. I've started to drink more Dr. Pepper since I started working, though, so hopefully I'll be able to keep it under control in February.
As far as exercising goes . . . I did not do nearly as well as I'd hoped. I was doing all right at the start of the month but then once I started working . . . not so much. It's just soooooo cold out by the time I get home that I really, really struggled with making myself walk over to the workout room. My first weekend from work I managed to exercise a little, but the second weekend, I was just wiped out and didn't have the energy. I think my saving grace this past month (the reason I lost weight) was all the walking I did. Having to work every day means that I'm walking every day--to the bus stop, from the bus stop to work, back to the bus stop, home, etc etc etc. And honestly, most mornings I run to the stop since I'm always running late, and that most definitely gets my heart rate up. Even though the bus sucks in the cold, I'm pretty grateful that it keeps me going like that, if that makes sense. I really need to look into joining the gym across the street from work (we get to join for free + a discount on the monthly price). I want to join, but I don't know if there's a process we have to go through or whatever. I always mean to ask someone at work but I get too caught up in whatever I'm doing for the day so . . . it doesn't happen.
So my goals for February are to join they gym, cut fast food out of my diet even more (my goal is less than 10 days with eating out), and keep reducing the Dr. Pepper and keep drinking water. I also want to do something physical every day, even if it's something small, like weights or an ab workout, or stretching.
I feel like I can accomplish all of that and then some this month! Hoping for a successful and productive February!
1.10.2013
From Email to EMPLOYED
That's right!! As of today, I officially have a JOB!!!!!
I'm going to post the whole story, because I'm just that freakin' excited.
Back at the beginning of December (or at least that's about what I figure based on email) I sent my resume in response to a Craigslist ad for a medical billing position at a cardiology clinic. I figured that with my front desk experience I at least had a decent shot at it. But I never heard anything, and at the time I was applying for job after job after job, so I pretty much forgot about it.
So fast forward to December 19th. It was late at night, and I randomly decided to check my "professional" email (aka my email address that actually has my name in it, which I use on my resume and for more professional than personal stuff). I check that email very, very rarely, since all that usually comes to that email are mailing lists and newsletters. Well, that night, I had an email from a woman (the practice manager) that was in response to my resume for the billing position, thanking me for my interest in the job and asking me when I could come in for an interview. I was thrilled, and I emailed her back right that second. By the next afternoon she'd emailed me back, and the following day (Friday, Dec. 21st) I went in to interview with her.
It went incredibly well. She mostly told me about the practice and the doctors, went over hours and benefits, asked me about my experience in medical office, and all that. I felt completely at ease with her, and at the end of the interview she told me she wanted me to meet the business manager for a second interview. The problem was that it was a Friday, and on Friday the billers and the managers only work until noon, and at the end of my interview it was already 11:30. The business manager was on vacation the next week, which meant that after the 21st, she wouldn't be in the office until the 31st. And naturally, the clinic would be closed on the 1st of the year--which meant I'd have to wait until the 2nd or 3rd of January for my interview. That was a little crappy, but oh well--I was just happy to have had an interview and to have been asked back for a second one.
I left felling really, really good about the whole thing. I thought the interview had gone as well as it could have, I thought I'd come across really well, I thought the practice manager and I clicked well, and I just had a good feeling about this one. I felt like . . . yep, this one's mine. I was feeling superstitious so the only people who knew about the interviews were my family, Jerbs, and Theresa. (My mom said she had a good feeling about it too, which gave me a confidence boost). I literally didn't say a word to anybody else, and in the time between interviews, I prayed, crossed my fingers, and wished on every star, eye lash, and 11:11 I possibly could.
I waited as patiently as I could until the 31st, and called their business manager to set up my interview. She asked me to come on the 2nd (a Wednesday). I got to the clinic on the 2nd and the practice manager, who did my first interview, took me back to the conference room to introduce me to the business manager. To my surprise, the business manager had brought the three other members of the billing department to sit in and ask questions as well--which at first totally unnerved me. As the practice manager left, though, she patted me on the shoulder and wished me luck, which was just really sweet.
Well, the second interview went fantastic. All 4 women asked me questions, and they seemed to love a lot of my answers. And it was pretty clear right away that my personality would mesh really, really well with all of them. It was seriously the best interview I've ever been on. It was a great blend of serious questions and telling them why they wanted me on their team, to just sharing stories about working in medical offices and laughing. It was awesome. Again, I left with a really, really good feeling. I was just really sure that I could work well with the people I'd met, and that I'd fit in well with their staff.
The business manager said she wanted to decide by the end of the week, and by Friday I hadn't heard anything. I was so disappointed, but I still had a good feeling about it. I didn't hear anything on Monday either, so I checked my email again, just in case. Well, I had an email from the business manager. It was basically a link to this website and I had to take these 4 little assessment things--they were just like those personality things that are on every application, so I did those, and the following morning, I left a voice mail for the business manager letting her know those were done.
I heard nothing during the rest of Tuesday, and nothing on Wednesday. I was starting to panic a little and then, this morning, at around 11 AM, I finally got the call. The business manager apologized for not calling sooner and said she'd been sick and mostly voiceless, told me the results of my little assessments indicated that I'd be a good fit for them, and offered me the position! (And told me how much it paid, which made me even happier). I just keep thinking of all the interviews I had up till now, all the disappointment in not being offered those jobs--but it was for good reason, because I ended up right where I was supposed to, I think.
So I went in this afternoon and picked up an official application and signed off on allowing them to do a background check, and as soon as that comes back clean or whatever, I get to start work.
I am beyond thrilled. I can't even describe the relief I felt when she told me I got the job. Relief and gratitude. My hands were shaking when I hung up the phone and I actually started crying. I am so, so grateful for this opportunity. For so many reasons. I'm so happy that I can stop being a burden to Jerbs, that I can start to take care of myself, that I can just not be constantly panicking about money, that I'll have something that makes me feel not useless.
Honestly, I owe a lot of it to the clinic. One of my jobs as a receptionist was posting charges and payments to patient accounts--which at most medical offices is something the billing dept., not the front desk, does. It was aggravating at times, but knowing at least a little of the billing side of things definitely worked in my favor. Plus working at the clinic taught me what questions to ask, if that makes sense: I asked at my first interview about the services the clinic did and their scope of care, what insurances they were contracted with, what medical software they used for front desk and billing, how much of their records were EMR, etc. I think asking things like that made me look interested, serious, and knowledgeable.
I think this is going to be a great thing for me. I already really like the people I'll be working most closely with. And I love the clinic itself. It's a cardiology clinic that opened less than four years ago (I remember when they opened, because I was at the clinic at the time, and they gave us a ton of their info. pamphlets) and in four years they have grown tremendously. They started out with four doctors and two administrators and now have a staff of 54 . . . I guess 55, counting me! They have a big scope of care, because they have not only cardiologists, but a psychologist, a nutritionist, an electrophysiologist (who comes up from PHX once a week), and a full sleep clinic. They co-own a fitness center (which is right across the street from them, so yes, I'll definitely be joining when I can). They do satellite clinics in Winslow, Page, and Sedona. It's an incredibly successful practice, and I'm excited to be working for them. I've never been so excited about a business I'm working for. I love how many services they offer in the name of heart health--who would have ever thought that psychology and sleep studies were necessary in cardiology? It's innovative, and I like that a lot.
Plus, I'm glad I'll get to learn medical billing, because that's a skill that'll come in handy. I'm really looking at this as a career move, not a job. Because as much as I want to use my degree someday, I would probably be OK doing something like medical billing as my career, because I have plenty of ways to indulge my lit. nerdiness elsewhere. There's a lot of potential in medical billing, and I really believe that it'll make getting a job wherever I move to a lot easier.
And that's that. I'm so happy, and this is the best way to really start the year that I could imagine. My friend Bridget once said (in a comment on this blog about another job interview, actually) that it was about time for me to hit my "up and over" phase. I think that's a perfect way to describe it.
So up and over I go.
I'm going to post the whole story, because I'm just that freakin' excited.
Back at the beginning of December (or at least that's about what I figure based on email) I sent my resume in response to a Craigslist ad for a medical billing position at a cardiology clinic. I figured that with my front desk experience I at least had a decent shot at it. But I never heard anything, and at the time I was applying for job after job after job, so I pretty much forgot about it.
So fast forward to December 19th. It was late at night, and I randomly decided to check my "professional" email (aka my email address that actually has my name in it, which I use on my resume and for more professional than personal stuff). I check that email very, very rarely, since all that usually comes to that email are mailing lists and newsletters. Well, that night, I had an email from a woman (the practice manager) that was in response to my resume for the billing position, thanking me for my interest in the job and asking me when I could come in for an interview. I was thrilled, and I emailed her back right that second. By the next afternoon she'd emailed me back, and the following day (Friday, Dec. 21st) I went in to interview with her.
It went incredibly well. She mostly told me about the practice and the doctors, went over hours and benefits, asked me about my experience in medical office, and all that. I felt completely at ease with her, and at the end of the interview she told me she wanted me to meet the business manager for a second interview. The problem was that it was a Friday, and on Friday the billers and the managers only work until noon, and at the end of my interview it was already 11:30. The business manager was on vacation the next week, which meant that after the 21st, she wouldn't be in the office until the 31st. And naturally, the clinic would be closed on the 1st of the year--which meant I'd have to wait until the 2nd or 3rd of January for my interview. That was a little crappy, but oh well--I was just happy to have had an interview and to have been asked back for a second one.
I left felling really, really good about the whole thing. I thought the interview had gone as well as it could have, I thought I'd come across really well, I thought the practice manager and I clicked well, and I just had a good feeling about this one. I felt like . . . yep, this one's mine. I was feeling superstitious so the only people who knew about the interviews were my family, Jerbs, and Theresa. (My mom said she had a good feeling about it too, which gave me a confidence boost). I literally didn't say a word to anybody else, and in the time between interviews, I prayed, crossed my fingers, and wished on every star, eye lash, and 11:11 I possibly could.
I waited as patiently as I could until the 31st, and called their business manager to set up my interview. She asked me to come on the 2nd (a Wednesday). I got to the clinic on the 2nd and the practice manager, who did my first interview, took me back to the conference room to introduce me to the business manager. To my surprise, the business manager had brought the three other members of the billing department to sit in and ask questions as well--which at first totally unnerved me. As the practice manager left, though, she patted me on the shoulder and wished me luck, which was just really sweet.
Well, the second interview went fantastic. All 4 women asked me questions, and they seemed to love a lot of my answers. And it was pretty clear right away that my personality would mesh really, really well with all of them. It was seriously the best interview I've ever been on. It was a great blend of serious questions and telling them why they wanted me on their team, to just sharing stories about working in medical offices and laughing. It was awesome. Again, I left with a really, really good feeling. I was just really sure that I could work well with the people I'd met, and that I'd fit in well with their staff.
The business manager said she wanted to decide by the end of the week, and by Friday I hadn't heard anything. I was so disappointed, but I still had a good feeling about it. I didn't hear anything on Monday either, so I checked my email again, just in case. Well, I had an email from the business manager. It was basically a link to this website and I had to take these 4 little assessment things--they were just like those personality things that are on every application, so I did those, and the following morning, I left a voice mail for the business manager letting her know those were done.
I heard nothing during the rest of Tuesday, and nothing on Wednesday. I was starting to panic a little and then, this morning, at around 11 AM, I finally got the call. The business manager apologized for not calling sooner and said she'd been sick and mostly voiceless, told me the results of my little assessments indicated that I'd be a good fit for them, and offered me the position! (And told me how much it paid, which made me even happier). I just keep thinking of all the interviews I had up till now, all the disappointment in not being offered those jobs--but it was for good reason, because I ended up right where I was supposed to, I think.
So I went in this afternoon and picked up an official application and signed off on allowing them to do a background check, and as soon as that comes back clean or whatever, I get to start work.
I am beyond thrilled. I can't even describe the relief I felt when she told me I got the job. Relief and gratitude. My hands were shaking when I hung up the phone and I actually started crying. I am so, so grateful for this opportunity. For so many reasons. I'm so happy that I can stop being a burden to Jerbs, that I can start to take care of myself, that I can just not be constantly panicking about money, that I'll have something that makes me feel not useless.
Honestly, I owe a lot of it to the clinic. One of my jobs as a receptionist was posting charges and payments to patient accounts--which at most medical offices is something the billing dept., not the front desk, does. It was aggravating at times, but knowing at least a little of the billing side of things definitely worked in my favor. Plus working at the clinic taught me what questions to ask, if that makes sense: I asked at my first interview about the services the clinic did and their scope of care, what insurances they were contracted with, what medical software they used for front desk and billing, how much of their records were EMR, etc. I think asking things like that made me look interested, serious, and knowledgeable.
I think this is going to be a great thing for me. I already really like the people I'll be working most closely with. And I love the clinic itself. It's a cardiology clinic that opened less than four years ago (I remember when they opened, because I was at the clinic at the time, and they gave us a ton of their info. pamphlets) and in four years they have grown tremendously. They started out with four doctors and two administrators and now have a staff of 54 . . . I guess 55, counting me! They have a big scope of care, because they have not only cardiologists, but a psychologist, a nutritionist, an electrophysiologist (who comes up from PHX once a week), and a full sleep clinic. They co-own a fitness center (which is right across the street from them, so yes, I'll definitely be joining when I can). They do satellite clinics in Winslow, Page, and Sedona. It's an incredibly successful practice, and I'm excited to be working for them. I've never been so excited about a business I'm working for. I love how many services they offer in the name of heart health--who would have ever thought that psychology and sleep studies were necessary in cardiology? It's innovative, and I like that a lot.
Plus, I'm glad I'll get to learn medical billing, because that's a skill that'll come in handy. I'm really looking at this as a career move, not a job. Because as much as I want to use my degree someday, I would probably be OK doing something like medical billing as my career, because I have plenty of ways to indulge my lit. nerdiness elsewhere. There's a lot of potential in medical billing, and I really believe that it'll make getting a job wherever I move to a lot easier.
And that's that. I'm so happy, and this is the best way to really start the year that I could imagine. My friend Bridget once said (in a comment on this blog about another job interview, actually) that it was about time for me to hit my "up and over" phase. I think that's a perfect way to describe it.
So up and over I go.
1.01.2013
Weigh In # 1 (2013)
Since I pretty much quit making any effort to lose weight at the end of 2012, I thought I'd just start the whole process over with the start of the new year. So no more weekly weigh ins and updates, just monthly ones. I feel like that'll be more doable.
So January 1st. Weight 181.6 (courtesy of my new digital scale).
Hopefully that number will be a lot lower on February 1st.
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