After I got laid off at MHC, I took some time to just . . . do nothing. My severance package and PTO cash out was pretty generous, so I wasn't in a super big hurry to find something new. I decompressed and got some cleaning and organizing done around the house, I went to the gym, I played Overwatch. And then I filed for unemployment in AZ, which was denied because my wages were reported in WA (that was a whole dumb thing), and that got approved. And then I edited my resume (after not touching it in like 7 years) and added MHC to it. And then, finally, I decided it was time to start looking for a new job. (I honestly don't know why/how I was so calm about it, but I really was . . . My gut feeling was that it wouldn't take me too long to find something).
Anyway, I've been active in AAPC since I moved up here (I'm actually chapter secretary at the moment, for the second year in a row), and one of the things we ask is for members to let the group know about job openings. And as I was getting ready to start my job search, I remembered that another AAPC member had been announcing a coding job for quite awhile, working in the physician's practice area of a local hospital. It's really weird because the very first time she announced it, I thought it sounded really interesting, and for a minute I wondered if it was time for a change. But I decided against it.
Well, the job was still available, and I found it on Indeed and applied. I figured since it had been open so long I had a good chance, even if I wasn't quite as experienced as they wanted. Within like . . . 2 days of applying, they asked for a phone interview, which I did. And then I had to do an in person interview, which took forever to schedule (it's a long story, basically the dept. currently has an interim director who is based in Virginia, at corporate headquarters, and she is only in Olympia like once a month for a few days). My phone interview was January 13th, and my in person interview was on January 21st. The in person interview went SO well. I just had so much confidence going in. I truly don't know where it came from, because I was pretty anxious like . . . until I walked into the building. And then, I don't know what happened, but . . . it was awesome. The interview ended up lasting a little over an hour, and when I left, I just felt like . . . yeah, this one's mine. Very much like how I felt after my MHC interview.
I officially got an offer on January 29th/30th, and on February 4th I went in and did new hire paperwork/drug testing/background check stuff. I didn't get to start until February 17th, because the hospital only has new hires start every 2 weeks, and every new hire has to do a whole day group orientation. There were only 2 other people in my group so that was kind of cool.
So far it's gone really well. After the first day in my department, I was just pumped. I like my job (some A/R, some coding, eventually a lot of auditing/provider education), I love my boss, and my office mate is my AAPC friend who actually announced the job! I'm currently working from home again because of the pandemic and it hasn't been bad, but I do miss the office. The system and processes are very different than at MHC and it's been an adjustment for sure, but in a good way.
AND while I was looking at job listings online, I came across one for a sleep clinic called ISC. Jenny had applied there before because a couple of her coworkers had left ORS for ISC because they pay and benefits were better. She never got a call back the first time. But as all this was going on, things were getting bad at ORS. Like Jenny was basically doing the work of 3 people and hadn't gotten a raise since just after she started, and she was still making minimum wage. The owner of ORS just "doesn't do" cost of living raises--he only believes in merit raises. And she was already doing 3 jobs so . . . what else could she possibly do to go above and beyond? The ISC ad posted when I was looking for work said they were urgently hiring, so I let Jenny know. They called her back really quickly, and she got the job! She actually started at ISC on February 11th. She's SO much happier there and so glad to be done with ORS. Even moreso considering that if she was still at ORS, she'd be the only biller because 2 people have quit, AND the supervisor is on indefinite medical leave.
So we both got new jobs, and we both got raises (Jenny got $3/hour, I got $5/hour). I definitely feel like I was ready for a change, and as much as I loved MHC, maybe getting laid off was a good thing. I feel like I'm finally in a truly adult job, and I like working somewhere local. And with our new combined income . . . I don't really want to say much and jinx it but let's just say homeowner-ship is no longer completely out of the question for us. I mean, it's still going to be awhile, because my hours got cut because of the pandemic, and I have some new fun medical debt, but STILL. Once things get back to normal . . . fingers crossed!
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
5.06.2020
4.29.2020
Goodbye MHC
Remember how I said a few posts back I was still working for MHC and loving it?
Yeah, that's no longer the case.
This story actually starts in 2019. I found out that one of our doctors was retiring, and that another was leaving at the end of the year. Didn't seem like a big deal. But then I found out another doctor was leaving, and then a month or so later, another one. It was super weird. And then we got a company wide email that mentioned something about "if patients want to follow Dr. A or Dr. B to the hospital blah blah blah." And that was super super weird because in 2016, the hospital had closed its outpatient cardiac clinic, partnered with MHC to take over that service line, and we'd taken on most of their doctors and patients. I mean, that's literally the whole reason I got to keep my job at MHC when I moved. That email also said that no one was being laid off, but that no one who quit was being replaced. So . . . bad signs all around. I started to worry a little about my job security.
But we still had a handful of doctors, plus our mids and techs, and I had faith.
And then, in November, the last doctor standing AND his mid decided to go to the hospital as well. This meant that, essentially, by March of 2020, we'd have only one cardiologist, a sleep doctor, and a handful of mids as far as providers go. At that point I alternated a lot between being absolutely convinced I'd be losing my job around my birthday, and being sure that since I was a very senior member of billing, plus a remote (and lower cost) employee, I'd be fine and manage to stay on through the craziness.
I was actually wrong on both counts! On December 30th (a Monday, my first day back after Christmas vacation), I got a call from my boss, letting me know that massive cuts were being made and I was being laid off. I was LITERALLY the first person to be let go. Which felt just great. The entire department except for the manager and the other coder got fired. So did most of auth., and I'm assuming a good chunk of records/front desk types. It was a terrible, terrible way to end the year. I can't really say it was out of nowhere, but based on when each provider was leaving and how much outstanding stuff they had out there, I really didn't think it would happen that fast. But it was . . . abrupt. I think it's because I wasn't in the office. I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone, or like . . . have any kind of option of coming back if I had to. It was pretty much you're fired, log off, and my access was terminated by the following morning. Just like that, after 7 years . . . over. It was surreal. I just felt very lost. Not just because I had to find another job after so long, but because I knew I was going to have to transition back into working outside of the house. That was daunting. (It worked out, though, and I got a new job pretty quick, and I like it, and Jerbs also got a new job in the process, but more on that later).
Really the big takeaway from the story is this: the hospital absolutely, 100% fucked MHC over. Apparently what the hospital meant when they said they wanted to contract with us for 10 years, what they actually meant was that they wanted to watch how MHC ran things for 3.5 years to learn how to do it correctly, then steal their doctors back, reopen their clinic, and tell MHC to fuck off. They had to pay a LOT of money to do it, between the penalties in our contract and buying out some of the doctors' contracts. It's fucking garbage. On top of that, MHC's medical director and founder (who literally started MHC because he saw how awful the hospital was with outpatient cardiology and was sick of it) opted to retire instead of going to work for the hospital. Really, that was the best option for him, but it sucks for the community to lose such a great cardiologist.
As of April 17th, MHC as a clinic closed and was bought by the hospital, so essentially they fucked us and then bought our building so that the can expand into it. The official story is that our medical director approached them about a sale because he was ready to retire . . . which is total bullshit.
As sad as I am about MHC closing and losing my job and everything, I'm more pissed about what the hospital did to us. It's just so epically shitty. And this was probably the hospital's end goal the whole effing time, and that's really infuriating too. It's sad because MHC's founder's goal was to eventually take over the outpatient line for the hospital, and it was such a huge deal that he finally accomplished it. And it ended in bullshit. (Although, interestingly, I heard through rumors as all this was going down, that over the years after MHC opened, it was the first CEO who was reluctant to make a deal with the hospital. The whole deal picked up steam after he left a few years back. So I kind of wonder if he had a feeling that something like this would happen. It doesn't really matter, but I am curious).
So that's that. I'm still sad. But like I said, I have a new job, in Olympia, and I really like it, and I'm making like $5/hour more than I was at MHC, and I think being out of the house is good for me right now. Well, not RIGHT now, because I'm currently working from home again because of the Covid19 pandemic. I'm extremely grateful for MHC because it really came along RIGHT when I needed it, and it led to so many good things. It increased my confidence, taught me a LOT of valuable skills, led to me getting a professional certification . . . all of those things were necessary to get the job I have now. Plus I wouldn't have Max if it wasn't for MHC, because I got him from a co-worker, and I love that little sausage dog more than I can say.
It really feels like the end of an era, the end of something really big and important and meaningful, and that sucks. But at the same time, I am SO happy for this next chapter, whatever it brings!
Yeah, that's no longer the case.
This story actually starts in 2019. I found out that one of our doctors was retiring, and that another was leaving at the end of the year. Didn't seem like a big deal. But then I found out another doctor was leaving, and then a month or so later, another one. It was super weird. And then we got a company wide email that mentioned something about "if patients want to follow Dr. A or Dr. B to the hospital blah blah blah." And that was super super weird because in 2016, the hospital had closed its outpatient cardiac clinic, partnered with MHC to take over that service line, and we'd taken on most of their doctors and patients. I mean, that's literally the whole reason I got to keep my job at MHC when I moved. That email also said that no one was being laid off, but that no one who quit was being replaced. So . . . bad signs all around. I started to worry a little about my job security.
But we still had a handful of doctors, plus our mids and techs, and I had faith.
And then, in November, the last doctor standing AND his mid decided to go to the hospital as well. This meant that, essentially, by March of 2020, we'd have only one cardiologist, a sleep doctor, and a handful of mids as far as providers go. At that point I alternated a lot between being absolutely convinced I'd be losing my job around my birthday, and being sure that since I was a very senior member of billing, plus a remote (and lower cost) employee, I'd be fine and manage to stay on through the craziness.
I was actually wrong on both counts! On December 30th (a Monday, my first day back after Christmas vacation), I got a call from my boss, letting me know that massive cuts were being made and I was being laid off. I was LITERALLY the first person to be let go. Which felt just great. The entire department except for the manager and the other coder got fired. So did most of auth., and I'm assuming a good chunk of records/front desk types. It was a terrible, terrible way to end the year. I can't really say it was out of nowhere, but based on when each provider was leaving and how much outstanding stuff they had out there, I really didn't think it would happen that fast. But it was . . . abrupt. I think it's because I wasn't in the office. I didn't get to say goodbye to anyone, or like . . . have any kind of option of coming back if I had to. It was pretty much you're fired, log off, and my access was terminated by the following morning. Just like that, after 7 years . . . over. It was surreal. I just felt very lost. Not just because I had to find another job after so long, but because I knew I was going to have to transition back into working outside of the house. That was daunting. (It worked out, though, and I got a new job pretty quick, and I like it, and Jerbs also got a new job in the process, but more on that later).
Really the big takeaway from the story is this: the hospital absolutely, 100% fucked MHC over. Apparently what the hospital meant when they said they wanted to contract with us for 10 years, what they actually meant was that they wanted to watch how MHC ran things for 3.5 years to learn how to do it correctly, then steal their doctors back, reopen their clinic, and tell MHC to fuck off. They had to pay a LOT of money to do it, between the penalties in our contract and buying out some of the doctors' contracts. It's fucking garbage. On top of that, MHC's medical director and founder (who literally started MHC because he saw how awful the hospital was with outpatient cardiology and was sick of it) opted to retire instead of going to work for the hospital. Really, that was the best option for him, but it sucks for the community to lose such a great cardiologist.
As of April 17th, MHC as a clinic closed and was bought by the hospital, so essentially they fucked us and then bought our building so that the can expand into it. The official story is that our medical director approached them about a sale because he was ready to retire . . . which is total bullshit.
As sad as I am about MHC closing and losing my job and everything, I'm more pissed about what the hospital did to us. It's just so epically shitty. And this was probably the hospital's end goal the whole effing time, and that's really infuriating too. It's sad because MHC's founder's goal was to eventually take over the outpatient line for the hospital, and it was such a huge deal that he finally accomplished it. And it ended in bullshit. (Although, interestingly, I heard through rumors as all this was going down, that over the years after MHC opened, it was the first CEO who was reluctant to make a deal with the hospital. The whole deal picked up steam after he left a few years back. So I kind of wonder if he had a feeling that something like this would happen. It doesn't really matter, but I am curious).
So that's that. I'm still sad. But like I said, I have a new job, in Olympia, and I really like it, and I'm making like $5/hour more than I was at MHC, and I think being out of the house is good for me right now. Well, not RIGHT now, because I'm currently working from home again because of the Covid19 pandemic. I'm extremely grateful for MHC because it really came along RIGHT when I needed it, and it led to so many good things. It increased my confidence, taught me a LOT of valuable skills, led to me getting a professional certification . . . all of those things were necessary to get the job I have now. Plus I wouldn't have Max if it wasn't for MHC, because I got him from a co-worker, and I love that little sausage dog more than I can say.
It really feels like the end of an era, the end of something really big and important and meaningful, and that sucks. But at the same time, I am SO happy for this next chapter, whatever it brings!
2.05.2016
Lots of Good News From Work
So this week was one where things just kept going my way at work. In particular, two really exciting things happened.
First of all, the issue of my raise got resolved. We got our pay stubs emailed to us this past Tuesday, and when I looked at mine, I noticed that my raise wasn't on there. So I emailed our financial controller and let her know, and she in turn told me that she hadn't known about my raise because, apparently, our HR person (who is one of my former billing co-workers) didn't get the paperwork to her. Which was irritating, but not a super big deal. My boss sent the paperwork to her and a little while later, the financial controller called me to her office. And she basically told me that the raise my boss gave me in my eval was inadequate, and that my boss was only allowed to give me a specific percentage raise. So it's now corrected, and my new pay rate is exactly in the range that I was expecting when I went into my eval. I was so excited to get the raise I deserved, I've put in the work and time and now I feel like something came of it.
Then yesterday, the billing department had a meeting (we're going through some pretty significant changes personnel wise right now, so we were meeting to talk about all that). As we were walking in, our practice manager said to me something like, "So, I hear you're going to be moving this year?" So I told her that yes, I was planning to move out of state in September. I was really apprehensive saying it because I wasn't sure how she was going to react, but I was super pleasantly surprised when her reaction was, "Are you interested in remoting?" I was like HELL YES!!!
This means that if the hospital deal goes through, I get to keep my job and work from home as a full time coder after I move. I am so unbelievably happy about this. Being able to keep my job would be amazing, because I wouldn't have to job hunt from a different state, I wouldn't have to start over somewhere PTO wise, I wouldn't have to leave a company I genuinely love . . . AND to be able to work from home is basically my dream. It also means that I won't have to pay back anything for my coding class since I won't be quitting, which is freaking awesome! And the icing on the cake is that the practice manager brought it up. The thought that I might be able to keep my job if the merge happened had crossed my mind before, but I figured I'd really have to fight for it and negotiate it, so to have it pretty much just handed to me is like . . . perfect.
Obviously the caveat is that if the hospital deal doesn't go through, a second coder isn't really going to be necessary, so if that happens I don't get to keep my job. So at this point, I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping and praying and wishing that the hospital deal goes through. I should know by April so . . . here's hoping!
1.22.2016
Work Eval
So today I got my yearly evaluation from my boss at work.
It went pretty much as expected. Pretty much just a you're doing awesome and keep up the good work kinda thing. The one thing I know I need to work on is the one thing my boss says I need to work on, so all in all, it was good news. My boss also encouraged me to stop feeling like I needed to take on other people's work if they fall behind (my office mate is suuuuper slow at some stuff and I tend to feel obligated to pick up the slack), and I'm glad she did. I get really frustrated and I think I needed to hear from my boss that it's OK to just let things go and let my co-workers really be responsible for themselves.
One thing that I'm really disappointed about, though, is my raise. Based on the fact that I got my CPC a few months ago, and since I've been taking on a lot more work (both coding and otherwise)--I definitely had a number in mind for my raise. And I was definitely expecting something more than what my past two raises have been.
So imagine my disappointment when I looked at my paperwork and saw a raise that is actually a little less than what I got last year. My heart just kind of sank and I actually almost cried. But I'm not much of a boat rocker so I just kind of sucked it up and didn't say anything. I didn't want to get all upset and crying at my boss, and I knew that's what would happen if I brought it up.
Plus, at least I got a raise, and at least I have a job at all. I reminded myself over and over again today that a lot of people would kill for what I got today, and that I should be grateful for what I have.
But still. It was disappointing.
It went pretty much as expected. Pretty much just a you're doing awesome and keep up the good work kinda thing. The one thing I know I need to work on is the one thing my boss says I need to work on, so all in all, it was good news. My boss also encouraged me to stop feeling like I needed to take on other people's work if they fall behind (my office mate is suuuuper slow at some stuff and I tend to feel obligated to pick up the slack), and I'm glad she did. I get really frustrated and I think I needed to hear from my boss that it's OK to just let things go and let my co-workers really be responsible for themselves.
One thing that I'm really disappointed about, though, is my raise. Based on the fact that I got my CPC a few months ago, and since I've been taking on a lot more work (both coding and otherwise)--I definitely had a number in mind for my raise. And I was definitely expecting something more than what my past two raises have been.
So imagine my disappointment when I looked at my paperwork and saw a raise that is actually a little less than what I got last year. My heart just kind of sank and I actually almost cried. But I'm not much of a boat rocker so I just kind of sucked it up and didn't say anything. I didn't want to get all upset and crying at my boss, and I knew that's what would happen if I brought it up.
Plus, at least I got a raise, and at least I have a job at all. I reminded myself over and over again today that a lot of people would kill for what I got today, and that I should be grateful for what I have.
But still. It was disappointing.
12.19.2015
Christmas Cheer
Here are some random things that have made me happy so far this holiday season.
This hedgehog:
I wanted to make a new wreath this year, and this is what I came up with. I wanted something that was simple and kind of rustic/outdoorsy, festive in an understated, elegant way, and I think I accomplished that. I got the wreath form at JoAnn's and the poinsettias at Michael's. I love how it turned out! It looks so nice on our door. We put red and white lights around the door too, and it really complemented the wreath nicely.
And that brings me to our Christmas lights! We put up lights on our porch this year--around the front door, around our window, and along the railing. It's all very festive. Unfortunately, I can't get a good picture because of the 2 gigantic pine trees in front of our apartment. I kind of wish we'd thought of that beforehand because all the work feels a little pointless knowing that our lights pretty much can't be seen. But we have lights and that's exciting! And we know they're there. I did briefly consider trying to climb one of the trees to get a picture, but Jerbs shot down that idea pretty quickly (rightfully so, I have to say).
Being rewarded for our generosity. The week before Thanksgiving, we got a flyer on our door saying that the office was having a food drive, and that anyone who donated had a chance to win a Target gift card. I didn't really care about winning, but I wanted to help, so Jerbs and I went out and bought a bunch of canned food and donated it. Like I said, this was back before Thanksgiving, and I'd honestly kind of forgotten about it. But today when I got home, there was a Christmas card on our door with a $50 Target gift card and a note from the office thanking us for our donations, and saying that we had donated the most of anyone across all 3 complexes in our little group. I was so happy! It's nice to feel like we did something to help AND have been rewarded for it. It was a very pleasant surprise.
I've also been to a Christmas party for each of my jobs this past week, so that was fun. The SHAF one was at a Mexican restaurant (Salsa Brava), and I hadn't eaten there in years so it was nice to have a reason to. We had a raffle for Christmas stockings and got to take home the leftover food, so win win! I remember that last year I was sick when the SHAF Christmas party happened and didn't get to go, so I was really happy to get to this year. I don't spend a lot of time with my SHAF co-workers and it was nice to get to. I didn't realize there were so many SHAF employees to be honest, because I only see a few of them on a regular basis. The MHC party was last Thursday and it was also a lot of fun. Last year, only like 15 people came to that one, and this year, most of the staff was there, which definitely made it more fun. Our white elephant gift exchange was waaaay more entertaining with almost 50 gifts instead of just 15. (Sadly, I didn't end up with anything good this year). I really love both of my work families, and am glad to have 2 good jobs with so many good people.
Now I'm just looking forward to going home for Christmas! Jerbs and I are heading down to Kingman as soon as I'm out of work on Christmas Eve, and I can't wait!
This hedgehog:
He's a present from my boss, who lives in Florida. She sent a box to the clinic with a little present for everyone in our department, it was so sweet! She really did an awesome job picking something that fit each person's personality/interests, which is impressive. I just love my boss, and I'm so excited and touched that she remembered my hedgehog obsession! I have 3 of them in my office now.
*****
These decorations at work:
The people in Pod 3 put up some festive and cardiology appropriate decorations around their offices and exam rooms. I rarely go to Pod 3 but I had to last week to talk to a co-worker, and I came across this. It made me happy so I had to get a pic.
*****
My new wreath:
I wanted to make a new wreath this year, and this is what I came up with. I wanted something that was simple and kind of rustic/outdoorsy, festive in an understated, elegant way, and I think I accomplished that. I got the wreath form at JoAnn's and the poinsettias at Michael's. I love how it turned out! It looks so nice on our door. We put red and white lights around the door too, and it really complemented the wreath nicely.
*****
And that brings me to our Christmas lights! We put up lights on our porch this year--around the front door, around our window, and along the railing. It's all very festive. Unfortunately, I can't get a good picture because of the 2 gigantic pine trees in front of our apartment. I kind of wish we'd thought of that beforehand because all the work feels a little pointless knowing that our lights pretty much can't be seen. But we have lights and that's exciting! And we know they're there. I did briefly consider trying to climb one of the trees to get a picture, but Jerbs shot down that idea pretty quickly (rightfully so, I have to say).
*****
Being rewarded for our generosity. The week before Thanksgiving, we got a flyer on our door saying that the office was having a food drive, and that anyone who donated had a chance to win a Target gift card. I didn't really care about winning, but I wanted to help, so Jerbs and I went out and bought a bunch of canned food and donated it. Like I said, this was back before Thanksgiving, and I'd honestly kind of forgotten about it. But today when I got home, there was a Christmas card on our door with a $50 Target gift card and a note from the office thanking us for our donations, and saying that we had donated the most of anyone across all 3 complexes in our little group. I was so happy! It's nice to feel like we did something to help AND have been rewarded for it. It was a very pleasant surprise.
*****
I've also been to a Christmas party for each of my jobs this past week, so that was fun. The SHAF one was at a Mexican restaurant (Salsa Brava), and I hadn't eaten there in years so it was nice to have a reason to. We had a raffle for Christmas stockings and got to take home the leftover food, so win win! I remember that last year I was sick when the SHAF Christmas party happened and didn't get to go, so I was really happy to get to this year. I don't spend a lot of time with my SHAF co-workers and it was nice to get to. I didn't realize there were so many SHAF employees to be honest, because I only see a few of them on a regular basis. The MHC party was last Thursday and it was also a lot of fun. Last year, only like 15 people came to that one, and this year, most of the staff was there, which definitely made it more fun. Our white elephant gift exchange was waaaay more entertaining with almost 50 gifts instead of just 15. (Sadly, I didn't end up with anything good this year). I really love both of my work families, and am glad to have 2 good jobs with so many good people.
*****
Now I'm just looking forward to going home for Christmas! Jerbs and I are heading down to Kingman as soon as I'm out of work on Christmas Eve, and I can't wait!
4.29.2015
Let's Talk About March
So March.
Jerbs started her new job right at the beginning of the month, and it was awesome. I drive her to work at the crack of dawn (because the buses don't run as early as she has to be there). That's been an interesting experience, but I really don't mind. I've worked at they gym, I've gone into work at MHC early and gotten some extra hours, I've eaten breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts (love it, btw), I've studied for my coding class, stuff like that. One morning I even went to the gym and worked out before work, which was not as earth shatteringly awful as I'd been expecting. But full disclosure, I haven't done it a second time. It's really just not for me, and I prefer working out after work.
Jerbs loves her new job, though. It's definitely a huge improvement from Staples. Pretty much right away Jerbs seemed happier, and less stressed than she had been for a long time, and seeing her happy makes me happy. She's got a really nice schedule there plus more hours than she was getting at Staples. Plus guaranteed overtime, which is awesome.
In the middle of the month I got a storage unit and my dad brought up all my stuff. As in, all of the things I had to leave in Kingman when I moved back to Flagstaff almost 3 years ago, which is most of what I own. For 6 months or so after I left, all of it was in the garage at my old place (where Ex-Fiance was still living); at some point my dad went and got all of it, and it had been in his garage ever since. We had talked about him bringing it up before but never got anywhere, but my dad apparently might be moving, so it was a necessity. It was weird to see all my stuff, because I honestly hadn't looked at it since the move. It was both comforting and somehow not comforting at the same time. Everything was just as I'd packed it, but there is an extra box, labeled in Ex-Fiance's handwriting. I couldn't bring myself to open it and see what was inside, because, even nearly 3 years after the fact, the mental image of him walking through our house and packing up the things that reminded him of me just hurts. That's not something I'm quite ready to face. (More on that whole issue later, probably).
Also in March, things got BAD at MHC. I don't even really know exactly what happened, but it was basically just one disaster after another, pretty much all related to one area of my job (DME). I was angry, frustrated, discouraged, and beyond stressed. For the first time since I started there more than 2 years ago, I hated my job. I dreaded going to work and was literally having anxiety attacks about it. It was terrible. I told my boss that it was time for DME to go to someone else, but that wasn't an option, so instead I got approved overtime. Which did help. But still, I was at a point where I probably would have quit had it not been for the coding class thing (ie if I leave now I owe the company the whole cost of that class). Things are better now, but I was suffering for a couple weeks there.
Jerbs and I really started to focus on moving in March as well--or at least, getting ready to move. There are these 2 bed 1.5 bath 2 story townhomes across the street from us, managed by the same company as our current complex. They looked reasonably priced online, so we decided to check them out. (In the 2 days between when we looked at the website and when we toured the place, though, the base rent went up by $80, just putting that out there). I honestly wasn't impressed with the place. It wasn't terrible, but it felt TINY, I think because of the layout. And both the bedrooms were super, super small, like small enough that I wouldn't actually have been able to fit all my stuff in mine.
But we forged ahead, did the application online, paid the app fee and reservation fee, got approved, the whole nine. Then we saw the actual rent breakdown and it was just too expensive. I mean, we probably could have swung the rent, but that would have made it really tight, and I don't want to live like that. So between the stupidly high rent, the not too impressive apartment, the fact that we're only planning to be in Flagstaff another year, and the less than awesome thought of actually moving all our shit, we decided to just stay. Ultimately we decided it would be better to suck it up, stay where we are, and save for the big out of state move we'd like to make happen next year.
And that's the story of how we really and truly almost moved and then decided not to. I know, it's a little anti climactic.
So Jerbs signed the lease for another year here. And while she was in the office doing it, the property manager asked if we'd had any more issues with our neighbor. Jerbs said that things had been quiet on that front. The manager proceeded to tell Jerbs that she'd had a long talk with the neighbor and she'd been warned about her behavior (ie she was told to stop being an overdramatic bitch), and that we needed to let her know if absolutely ANYTHING else happened. Again, we get the vibe that they want her gone as much as we do. The property manager also told Jerbs that she's been an excellent tenant in the whole time she's/we've lived here. It's good to know the complex is on our side and knows the neighbor is the one with issues. Right now we're just hoping she gets kicked out sooner rather than later.
And that's about it for March. Definitely not a great month, but free of any major disasters, and sometimes that's the best you can hope for, right?
Jerbs started her new job right at the beginning of the month, and it was awesome. I drive her to work at the crack of dawn (because the buses don't run as early as she has to be there). That's been an interesting experience, but I really don't mind. I've worked at they gym, I've gone into work at MHC early and gotten some extra hours, I've eaten breakfast at Dunkin' Donuts (love it, btw), I've studied for my coding class, stuff like that. One morning I even went to the gym and worked out before work, which was not as earth shatteringly awful as I'd been expecting. But full disclosure, I haven't done it a second time. It's really just not for me, and I prefer working out after work.
Jerbs loves her new job, though. It's definitely a huge improvement from Staples. Pretty much right away Jerbs seemed happier, and less stressed than she had been for a long time, and seeing her happy makes me happy. She's got a really nice schedule there plus more hours than she was getting at Staples. Plus guaranteed overtime, which is awesome.
In the middle of the month I got a storage unit and my dad brought up all my stuff. As in, all of the things I had to leave in Kingman when I moved back to Flagstaff almost 3 years ago, which is most of what I own. For 6 months or so after I left, all of it was in the garage at my old place (where Ex-Fiance was still living); at some point my dad went and got all of it, and it had been in his garage ever since. We had talked about him bringing it up before but never got anywhere, but my dad apparently might be moving, so it was a necessity. It was weird to see all my stuff, because I honestly hadn't looked at it since the move. It was both comforting and somehow not comforting at the same time. Everything was just as I'd packed it, but there is an extra box, labeled in Ex-Fiance's handwriting. I couldn't bring myself to open it and see what was inside, because, even nearly 3 years after the fact, the mental image of him walking through our house and packing up the things that reminded him of me just hurts. That's not something I'm quite ready to face. (More on that whole issue later, probably).
Also in March, things got BAD at MHC. I don't even really know exactly what happened, but it was basically just one disaster after another, pretty much all related to one area of my job (DME). I was angry, frustrated, discouraged, and beyond stressed. For the first time since I started there more than 2 years ago, I hated my job. I dreaded going to work and was literally having anxiety attacks about it. It was terrible. I told my boss that it was time for DME to go to someone else, but that wasn't an option, so instead I got approved overtime. Which did help. But still, I was at a point where I probably would have quit had it not been for the coding class thing (ie if I leave now I owe the company the whole cost of that class). Things are better now, but I was suffering for a couple weeks there.
Jerbs and I really started to focus on moving in March as well--or at least, getting ready to move. There are these 2 bed 1.5 bath 2 story townhomes across the street from us, managed by the same company as our current complex. They looked reasonably priced online, so we decided to check them out. (In the 2 days between when we looked at the website and when we toured the place, though, the base rent went up by $80, just putting that out there). I honestly wasn't impressed with the place. It wasn't terrible, but it felt TINY, I think because of the layout. And both the bedrooms were super, super small, like small enough that I wouldn't actually have been able to fit all my stuff in mine.
But we forged ahead, did the application online, paid the app fee and reservation fee, got approved, the whole nine. Then we saw the actual rent breakdown and it was just too expensive. I mean, we probably could have swung the rent, but that would have made it really tight, and I don't want to live like that. So between the stupidly high rent, the not too impressive apartment, the fact that we're only planning to be in Flagstaff another year, and the less than awesome thought of actually moving all our shit, we decided to just stay. Ultimately we decided it would be better to suck it up, stay where we are, and save for the big out of state move we'd like to make happen next year.
And that's the story of how we really and truly almost moved and then decided not to. I know, it's a little anti climactic.
So Jerbs signed the lease for another year here. And while she was in the office doing it, the property manager asked if we'd had any more issues with our neighbor. Jerbs said that things had been quiet on that front. The manager proceeded to tell Jerbs that she'd had a long talk with the neighbor and she'd been warned about her behavior (ie she was told to stop being an overdramatic bitch), and that we needed to let her know if absolutely ANYTHING else happened. Again, we get the vibe that they want her gone as much as we do. The property manager also told Jerbs that she's been an excellent tenant in the whole time she's/we've lived here. It's good to know the complex is on our side and knows the neighbor is the one with issues. Right now we're just hoping she gets kicked out sooner rather than later.
And that's about it for March. Definitely not a great month, but free of any major disasters, and sometimes that's the best you can hope for, right?
4.28.2015
Let's Talk About February
My blogging skills are horrible these days! I feel bad neglecting this little space, but . . . well, I honestly just haven't really felt like blogging. That's said, it's the end of April, so let's talk about February! (Fair warning, it's a LONG entry).
February was a total roller coaster of a month--some really good things happened, and so did some really crappy things.
At the beginning of the month (the 6th, I think), I had my review at work (MHC), and absolutely killed it. My boss pretty much told me I'm awesome, she's always impressed with me, and that she looks forward to seeing what I accomplish in my next year with the company. Pretty high praise from my boss, because she doesn't say things like that lightly. I was incredibly flattered/proud/happy. Of course I got a raise (a good one). Plus I got to enroll in the online CPC class just after my review, which is awesome! I won't lie, the class is a little harder than I was expecting, but I'm glad I'm doing it. I just keep thinking of being able to almost double my salary once I have my certification, which is a pretty decent incentive.
Not long after I had my review and all that, Jerbs got a new job!! She's working at an urgent care now, doing front desk stuff, and she loves it. She interviewed/got the job on the 13th, and gave Staples her two week notice on Valentine's Day, and her last day there was the 28th. I'm so unbelievably happy for her! She wanted to leave Staples for SO LONG and she finally got to! It's been a really good change for her. It was a little weird to pick her up at Staples for the last time, though. I mean . . . she worked there for 7 years, and that time frame covers all kinds of major life events: us dating, our breakup, our first move to the east side, the entire whirlwind of me and Ex-Fiance, me coming back to Flagstaff . . . that's a lot! I got a little weepy, but she was mostly like, "Fuck it! I'm done! Woohoo!!" It's been good to see her so happy.
At the end of February (like the 22nd, I think), I went to an Eric Paslay concert. He's kind of an up and coming country singer, and I really, really like him, and the tickets were only $25, so I figured why the hell not? He performed at the Museum Club, which is this honky tonk bar in town (it's actually pretty well known throughout AZ, but I'd never been there). I took my friend from work, Katie, and bought her ticket as a graduation gift, since she's in her last semester at NAU. It was so much fun!! And I was really proud of myself for, y'know, having a little bit of a social life and going out with someone who isn't Jerbs.
As for the bad . . .
Not surprisingly, it has to do with Stompy McFatAss, the wretch next door.
So February 9th (day before my effing birthday, mind you), I treated myself to Pita Jungle for dinner, and picked it up on my way home from work. Also keep in mind that at this point, we hadn't heard anything from Stompy since that night in January when her apartment flooded and she had Jerbs call 911. Also keep in mind that she hadn't complained about the dogs since June of 2014--so 9 months of relative peace had passed. When I got home on the 9th, the dogs weren't barking, but when I got upstairs, there was a fucking noise warning on the door from the cops, AND a handwritten "anonymous" note from Stompy herself, saying that our dogs have been an issue for 2 years and that we had 48 hours to bark collar them or she was going to play the recordings she (supposedly) has of them "excessively barking."
Couple of things. First of all, Stompy hasn't even lived here for 2 years, she moved in over 4th of July weekend in 2013, so she's about 5 months off on her time frame there. Two, our dogs ARE collared whenever we're not at home, and if the batter in Max's died, I'm sorry. But shit happens, and to go 9 months without a word and then have it escalate like that . . . fuck. Three, I do not believe for even one nano second that this bitch has a recording of our dogs barking, and definitely not of them barking excessively. Even if she DOES have a recording of our dogs, it's a moot point, because, fucking newsflash, if you stand on my porch by my living room window for 20 minutes to record shit, my dogs are going to bark at you! They're dogs, you're trespassing, you're a threat, and that's just the way the damn world works. I was more livid than you can imagine, and it wasn't long before that lividness gave way to a total breakdown. I got anxious, convinced myself I was a worthless piece of shit, and bawled. I called Jerbs at work and told her what happened. At that point she called our complex and left a message asking about transferring our lease to somewhere else in the complex, because we were tired of our neighbor's shit. After Jerbs got home, we talked it over and decided we needed to move--right away if they'd let us, at the end of our lease if they wouldn't.
That all went down on a Monday. For the rest of the week, I refused to leave the dogs home alone, even with their collars. I took early lunches, drove home to pick Jerbs and the dogs up, took Jerbs to work, and let the dogs hang out in the car for the rest of the day. On Tuesday (again, my freaking birthday), I got off work, promptly had an anxiety attack, and realized that I didn't want to be home alone either. So I wandered around Bookman's, JoAnn, and Michael's, then sat in their shared parking lot until Jerbs was off at 8. Definitely not the best birthday I've ever had, and I'm still pretty pissed that the bitch ruined my 18th birthday.
It was a shitty week. I hated it, the dogs hated it, Jerbs hated it, everyone was miserable. On Thursday, Jerbs finally heard back from the complex. She said that at first, the manager was very customer service-y and chipper, told her that they don't usually do transfers without the lease being up, and asked which neighbor the issue was with to see if we could work something out. Apparently, when Jerbs gave the apartment #, the manager's tone completely changed, and she was pretty much like OH, that bitch. Apparently, we are far from the only ones who have complained about her, and she's an ongoing issue for the office. The manager was actually pretty incredulous that she complained about the dogs, and flat out told Jerbs that no other neighbors have ever said a bad thing about us. (Because, AGAIN, it's not a fucking issue)! She also said that she came up here once to talk to the neighbor about something else, and she heard our dog bark like twice ("to let me know he was there," as she put it), then stop. So she was basically like, yeah, sorry your neighbor's so nuts.
She said she'd see what she could do, and ultimately the answer was that we couldn't move right away, but they'd talk to the neighbor. So while the no transfer was irritating, it was a tremendous relief to know that the office/complex management is on our side and aware that this bitch is totally insane. In the meantime, Jerbs and I decided we'd just move when our lease was up and try to get a 2 bedroom (more on that later).
Since all this happened, Jerbs and I have stayed super diligent about setting the dogs up right when we leave the house. We put up a black out curtain so they can't see the porch, leave the TV on low for a little noise, put out special bones they only get when we aren't home, and, of course, put their bark collars on them. I also got 2 Skype accounts, one of which is logged in on Jerbs' computer at home, one of which is logged into on my phone. I log in and call from work, so I can watch and listen to what's going on at home from my office, PLUS if one of them does bark, I can tell them to stop via Skype. In the whole time I've been doing it, Max has barked once, and it was because a package got delivered on the porch. The Skype thing has helped me to relax a LOT at work. I'm hopeful that with all the issues our neighbor causes, she'll eventually get evicted.
And on the Friday after my birthday, my department co-workers brought cupcakes for a belated birthday gift, and that made me happy. A few co-workers remembered on my actual birthday: Katie got me a huge jar of chocolate candy and these hilarious Ninja bread men cookie cutters, and the sleep girls got me candy and lip gloss and nail polish. I love them, and was so glad a few people remembered.
So that was February. I imagine that someday I'll get around to writing about March . . . maybe in June?
February was a total roller coaster of a month--some really good things happened, and so did some really crappy things.
At the beginning of the month (the 6th, I think), I had my review at work (MHC), and absolutely killed it. My boss pretty much told me I'm awesome, she's always impressed with me, and that she looks forward to seeing what I accomplish in my next year with the company. Pretty high praise from my boss, because she doesn't say things like that lightly. I was incredibly flattered/proud/happy. Of course I got a raise (a good one). Plus I got to enroll in the online CPC class just after my review, which is awesome! I won't lie, the class is a little harder than I was expecting, but I'm glad I'm doing it. I just keep thinking of being able to almost double my salary once I have my certification, which is a pretty decent incentive.
Not long after I had my review and all that, Jerbs got a new job!! She's working at an urgent care now, doing front desk stuff, and she loves it. She interviewed/got the job on the 13th, and gave Staples her two week notice on Valentine's Day, and her last day there was the 28th. I'm so unbelievably happy for her! She wanted to leave Staples for SO LONG and she finally got to! It's been a really good change for her. It was a little weird to pick her up at Staples for the last time, though. I mean . . . she worked there for 7 years, and that time frame covers all kinds of major life events: us dating, our breakup, our first move to the east side, the entire whirlwind of me and Ex-Fiance, me coming back to Flagstaff . . . that's a lot! I got a little weepy, but she was mostly like, "Fuck it! I'm done! Woohoo!!" It's been good to see her so happy.
At the end of February (like the 22nd, I think), I went to an Eric Paslay concert. He's kind of an up and coming country singer, and I really, really like him, and the tickets were only $25, so I figured why the hell not? He performed at the Museum Club, which is this honky tonk bar in town (it's actually pretty well known throughout AZ, but I'd never been there). I took my friend from work, Katie, and bought her ticket as a graduation gift, since she's in her last semester at NAU. It was so much fun!! And I was really proud of myself for, y'know, having a little bit of a social life and going out with someone who isn't Jerbs.
As for the bad . . .
Not surprisingly, it has to do with Stompy McFatAss, the wretch next door.
So February 9th (day before my effing birthday, mind you), I treated myself to Pita Jungle for dinner, and picked it up on my way home from work. Also keep in mind that at this point, we hadn't heard anything from Stompy since that night in January when her apartment flooded and she had Jerbs call 911. Also keep in mind that she hadn't complained about the dogs since June of 2014--so 9 months of relative peace had passed. When I got home on the 9th, the dogs weren't barking, but when I got upstairs, there was a fucking noise warning on the door from the cops, AND a handwritten "anonymous" note from Stompy herself, saying that our dogs have been an issue for 2 years and that we had 48 hours to bark collar them or she was going to play the recordings she (supposedly) has of them "excessively barking."
Couple of things. First of all, Stompy hasn't even lived here for 2 years, she moved in over 4th of July weekend in 2013, so she's about 5 months off on her time frame there. Two, our dogs ARE collared whenever we're not at home, and if the batter in Max's died, I'm sorry. But shit happens, and to go 9 months without a word and then have it escalate like that . . . fuck. Three, I do not believe for even one nano second that this bitch has a recording of our dogs barking, and definitely not of them barking excessively. Even if she DOES have a recording of our dogs, it's a moot point, because, fucking newsflash, if you stand on my porch by my living room window for 20 minutes to record shit, my dogs are going to bark at you! They're dogs, you're trespassing, you're a threat, and that's just the way the damn world works. I was more livid than you can imagine, and it wasn't long before that lividness gave way to a total breakdown. I got anxious, convinced myself I was a worthless piece of shit, and bawled. I called Jerbs at work and told her what happened. At that point she called our complex and left a message asking about transferring our lease to somewhere else in the complex, because we were tired of our neighbor's shit. After Jerbs got home, we talked it over and decided we needed to move--right away if they'd let us, at the end of our lease if they wouldn't.
That all went down on a Monday. For the rest of the week, I refused to leave the dogs home alone, even with their collars. I took early lunches, drove home to pick Jerbs and the dogs up, took Jerbs to work, and let the dogs hang out in the car for the rest of the day. On Tuesday (again, my freaking birthday), I got off work, promptly had an anxiety attack, and realized that I didn't want to be home alone either. So I wandered around Bookman's, JoAnn, and Michael's, then sat in their shared parking lot until Jerbs was off at 8. Definitely not the best birthday I've ever had, and I'm still pretty pissed that the bitch ruined my 18th birthday.
It was a shitty week. I hated it, the dogs hated it, Jerbs hated it, everyone was miserable. On Thursday, Jerbs finally heard back from the complex. She said that at first, the manager was very customer service-y and chipper, told her that they don't usually do transfers without the lease being up, and asked which neighbor the issue was with to see if we could work something out. Apparently, when Jerbs gave the apartment #, the manager's tone completely changed, and she was pretty much like OH, that bitch. Apparently, we are far from the only ones who have complained about her, and she's an ongoing issue for the office. The manager was actually pretty incredulous that she complained about the dogs, and flat out told Jerbs that no other neighbors have ever said a bad thing about us. (Because, AGAIN, it's not a fucking issue)! She also said that she came up here once to talk to the neighbor about something else, and she heard our dog bark like twice ("to let me know he was there," as she put it), then stop. So she was basically like, yeah, sorry your neighbor's so nuts.
She said she'd see what she could do, and ultimately the answer was that we couldn't move right away, but they'd talk to the neighbor. So while the no transfer was irritating, it was a tremendous relief to know that the office/complex management is on our side and aware that this bitch is totally insane. In the meantime, Jerbs and I decided we'd just move when our lease was up and try to get a 2 bedroom (more on that later).
Since all this happened, Jerbs and I have stayed super diligent about setting the dogs up right when we leave the house. We put up a black out curtain so they can't see the porch, leave the TV on low for a little noise, put out special bones they only get when we aren't home, and, of course, put their bark collars on them. I also got 2 Skype accounts, one of which is logged in on Jerbs' computer at home, one of which is logged into on my phone. I log in and call from work, so I can watch and listen to what's going on at home from my office, PLUS if one of them does bark, I can tell them to stop via Skype. In the whole time I've been doing it, Max has barked once, and it was because a package got delivered on the porch. The Skype thing has helped me to relax a LOT at work. I'm hopeful that with all the issues our neighbor causes, she'll eventually get evicted.
And on the Friday after my birthday, my department co-workers brought cupcakes for a belated birthday gift, and that made me happy. A few co-workers remembered on my actual birthday: Katie got me a huge jar of chocolate candy and these hilarious Ninja bread men cookie cutters, and the sleep girls got me candy and lip gloss and nail polish. I love them, and was so glad a few people remembered.
So that was February. I imagine that someday I'll get around to writing about March . . . maybe in June?
1.19.2015
Vacation!
I'm actually less excited about writing this post than the exclamation point in the title makes it sound, because today is actually the last day of my vacation. I haven't set foot in MHC since the 9th, and it has been fantastic. I've never taken this much time off, and I really thought I'd be going crazy before my vacation was half over, but . . . no. That wasn't the case. I actually wish I had another 10 days off.
I haven't really done anything special with my time off. I got some stuff done around the house (cleaning, catching up laundry, organizing things, etc.). Not as much as I'd hoped to get done, but better than nothing.
Jerbs and I went to Phoenix to visit B and her husband on Wednesday, and that was fun. We went to a fabric store where I spent more than I should have (almost entirely on Christmas fabric!), and to this nail supply store where the salon brand nail polishes are like half off. We ended the day eating awesome Mexican food, which was my request, because my favorite Mexican place in Flagstaff closed last August.
On Saturday, my mom and sister came up and spent the day, which was fun. I took them to Oregano's for lunch, since Kingman is seriously lacking in Italian food, and then we wandered around downtown for awhile. I also took them to the lookout at Mars Hill for a little while. Then we took the dogs up to the pond for a walk, where my mom was very entertained by Hollie and her determination to get a duck. It was a good visit, and long overdue, because my mom hasn't come to visit since I graduated from NAU more than 7 years ago.
Mostly, I just relaxed. I had all these plans for around the house projects and stuff I was going to get done, but then once I was actually on vacation, I just wanted to rest. And I think it was needed and well deserved, because I do work a lot. (And I worked at SHF a few days during my vacation, because . . . well, there's no one else to do my job there). It was nice.
I'm looking forward to going back tomorrow, because I do like my job, but I'm also dreading it. Mostly I'm dreading what my inbox probably looks like. I'm sure it's not going to be pretty.
12.07.2014
Better(ish) . . . I Think?
I've felt a little better since my last post. Maybe not a ton, but enough to notice. I honestly don't know where that little down swing came from . . . it wasn't menstrual, it wasn't a lack of medication, it was just a random thing. To be honest, something still feels off, not quite right, but I can't figure out what or why. So for now, I'm just kind of muddling through, until it either resolves itself or I figure out what's going on and how to fix it.
Thanksgiving was good. Jerbs and I stayed in Flagstaff and did our dinner from Sprouts, and watched Thanksgiving episodes of TV shows on Netflix. It was stupidly, frustratingly warm and sunny on Thanksgiving, and that kind of sucked.
Then on Black Friday, my best friend from college, Theresa got engaged! She and her fiance were in town for a little while, so I got to have dinner with them and a few other of their college friends, and it was so nice! I am so unbelievably happy for Theresa that I can't even put it into words. She and her fiance just seem so happy and good together, and it's good to see her so content and thriving. Seeing them together, and seeing her in such a good place, made me really think about some of the things in my life, and made me want to re-commit to some of the stuff I've been neglecting.
I was sick most of this past week, with a milder version of what I had in October, and that sucked. I'm finally feeling better, but my head still feels stuffy.
Other than that I've just been working. A lot. I'm still having a bit of a love/hate relationship with my second job. There are just some aspects of it that make me so uncomfortable . . . mostly calling people and telling them their dues declined. It's just kind of an unpleasant experience that I put off and avoid as much as I can. But I don't want to give it up, because the extra money is just so helpful . . . and really, the whole billing cycle thing only takes about the first two weeks out of the month, which isn't so bad. I can suck it up and deal.
One good thing, though, is that MHC is going to pay for me to get my medical coding certification, which is exciting. I think it'll be really good for me, mostly in the sense of making me more useful for future jobs, and if I don't have to pay for it, why not? I should be able to enroll in January, and I'll have my certification by July at the latest. I'm looking forward to it, even if I'm a little worried about how I'll find time to study with everything else I've got going on.
8.10.2014
Just An Update
1. This week I finished one of my special projects at MHC. Hallefreakinglujah. It's like a weight lifted off my shoulders. It took up pretty much my whole Tuesday but that's OK.
2. Diet wise I did super well the first part of the week. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I just killed it. Then Thursday, I kinda screwed up, and then Friday, Saturday, and today I went completely off the rails. Like . . . I don't even want to think about how many calories I ate. Tomorrow is a new day, though, and I'm feeling confident.
3. I started doing Couch to 5k this week. I started last Sunday and I'll finish week one tomorrow (I was supposed to either today or yesterday but just didn't feel much like running). At any rate, I really like it and I think it's going to be a good thing for me. And a bonus is that I take Hollie running with me and it wears her the hell out, which is nice.
4. I am very close to being finished with the August billing cycle at SHF. I think I'll be able to wrap it up tomorrow and then my work there will go back to being all light and sporadic and no big deal. I'm looking forward to that.
5. I called a potential new psychiatrist on Thursday. No one answered, but they have a special voicemail line for people wanting to make new patient appointments, so I left a message. That office is closed on Fridays so I'm hoping to hear back tomorrow. Supposedly their average wait time for new patients is 1-3 weeks, so I could potentially get in by the end of the month. I'm really hoping this one works out because I'm sick of looking. This one is in Phoenix but . . . I mean, it's a necessity. I called 5 people in Sedona and Cottonwood last week: 2 phone numbers were disconnected, 2 weren't taking new patients, and 1 was cash pay only. So I called my old doctor's office here in town and left a message basically kissing their ass and asking what I would need to do to make an appointment with the doctor I was supposed to start seeing there after Dr. Wright left . . . and yeah, they never called me back, so I'm going to go ahead and just assume that ship has sailed.
5. Last Sunday, I saw my ex at WalMart. As in my ex fiance who doesn't even live in Flagstaff. It was the most random thing. The most absolute random thing. And of course, since it was Sunday, which is chore and errand day, I hadn't showered or shaved my legs and I was wearing sweats and an old t-shirt. And I know it really doesn't matter but I hadn't seen him for more than a year and of course it couldn't have happened on a day I looked more put together. Sigh.
2. Diet wise I did super well the first part of the week. Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday I just killed it. Then Thursday, I kinda screwed up, and then Friday, Saturday, and today I went completely off the rails. Like . . . I don't even want to think about how many calories I ate. Tomorrow is a new day, though, and I'm feeling confident.
3. I started doing Couch to 5k this week. I started last Sunday and I'll finish week one tomorrow (I was supposed to either today or yesterday but just didn't feel much like running). At any rate, I really like it and I think it's going to be a good thing for me. And a bonus is that I take Hollie running with me and it wears her the hell out, which is nice.
4. I am very close to being finished with the August billing cycle at SHF. I think I'll be able to wrap it up tomorrow and then my work there will go back to being all light and sporadic and no big deal. I'm looking forward to that.
5. I called a potential new psychiatrist on Thursday. No one answered, but they have a special voicemail line for people wanting to make new patient appointments, so I left a message. That office is closed on Fridays so I'm hoping to hear back tomorrow. Supposedly their average wait time for new patients is 1-3 weeks, so I could potentially get in by the end of the month. I'm really hoping this one works out because I'm sick of looking. This one is in Phoenix but . . . I mean, it's a necessity. I called 5 people in Sedona and Cottonwood last week: 2 phone numbers were disconnected, 2 weren't taking new patients, and 1 was cash pay only. So I called my old doctor's office here in town and left a message basically kissing their ass and asking what I would need to do to make an appointment with the doctor I was supposed to start seeing there after Dr. Wright left . . . and yeah, they never called me back, so I'm going to go ahead and just assume that ship has sailed.
5. Last Sunday, I saw my ex at WalMart. As in my ex fiance who doesn't even live in Flagstaff. It was the most random thing. The most absolute random thing. And of course, since it was Sunday, which is chore and errand day, I hadn't showered or shaved my legs and I was wearing sweats and an old t-shirt. And I know it really doesn't matter but I hadn't seen him for more than a year and of course it couldn't have happened on a day I looked more put together. Sigh.
8.04.2014
Busy And Maybe A Little Burnt Out
This whole two jobs thing is kinda kicking my ass.
Don't get me wrong, I like having two jobs. I enjoy both of them and it's nice to not be worried about money all the time anymore. But the past couple weeks I just have felt . . . burnt out.
My real job at MHC is just insane right now. I'm working on two different special projects, plus DME, plus all my normal duties. And Medicare is being quite a bit more awful than usual lately, which is just awesome. And today was stressful because a co-worker opened a spam email and it turned out to be a massive virus, which led to all our servers being offline for like two hours. Which meant I could do basically nothing. It was incredibly frustrating.
I'm currently in the middle of a billing cycle at job # 2, which means that tomorrow will likely be a 12 hour day. And that half day Friday was an 8 hour day. I don't mind but I'll admit that this job is a bit more . . . involved than I was originally expecting. I was told 6-8 hours of filing and clerical work a week . . . I didn't expect to be running billing cycles and making collections phone calls.
I don't know. I feel like all I do anymore is work. And I guess there's nothing wrong with that, really, because I don't have kids or a spouse or really anything that demands a lot of my attention outside of work. There are just days when it's very, very exhausting.
But every time I start to get frustrated or annoyed or whatever, I make myself remember what it was like to be unemployed for 2 years and struggle with finding work, and I tell myself to suck it up. I want to excel at both of my jobs.
So that's about it. Two weeks from now I have a long weekend (I'm off on Monday, the 18th, and my sister will be here that weekend for the Climb to Conquer Cancer) and I am counting down the days to that.
Don't get me wrong, I like having two jobs. I enjoy both of them and it's nice to not be worried about money all the time anymore. But the past couple weeks I just have felt . . . burnt out.
My real job at MHC is just insane right now. I'm working on two different special projects, plus DME, plus all my normal duties. And Medicare is being quite a bit more awful than usual lately, which is just awesome. And today was stressful because a co-worker opened a spam email and it turned out to be a massive virus, which led to all our servers being offline for like two hours. Which meant I could do basically nothing. It was incredibly frustrating.
I'm currently in the middle of a billing cycle at job # 2, which means that tomorrow will likely be a 12 hour day. And that half day Friday was an 8 hour day. I don't mind but I'll admit that this job is a bit more . . . involved than I was originally expecting. I was told 6-8 hours of filing and clerical work a week . . . I didn't expect to be running billing cycles and making collections phone calls.
I don't know. I feel like all I do anymore is work. And I guess there's nothing wrong with that, really, because I don't have kids or a spouse or really anything that demands a lot of my attention outside of work. There are just days when it's very, very exhausting.
But every time I start to get frustrated or annoyed or whatever, I make myself remember what it was like to be unemployed for 2 years and struggle with finding work, and I tell myself to suck it up. I want to excel at both of my jobs.
So that's about it. Two weeks from now I have a long weekend (I'm off on Monday, the 18th, and my sister will be here that weekend for the Climb to Conquer Cancer) and I am counting down the days to that.
6.18.2014
Job # 2
I got a second job.
After that financial unpleasantness I mentioned a couple weeks back, I'd been kind of kicking around the idea of a second job in my head. But the only thing I could think that would work would be doing something in retail and working, like, one shift a week, on Saturday or Sunday. But I really don't want to give up a full day of my weekend so . . . yeah.
Then last week Deb, the financial controller at MHC, came into my office and mentioned that she'd gotten an email from the owner of the gym we partner with (the one where I used to have a membership) and that they were looking for someone to do clerical work. Super easy position, 6--8 hours a week, with a schedule that is completely flexible. So I went across the street after work and got an application.
I interviewed this past Monday, got offered the job on Tuesday, and I started training today after I got off at MHC. The work is simple and very doable, and I can literally work whenever I want. Plus I get a free gym membership!
I'm so excited. It's going to be nice to have extra money; between this and the overtime I've been putting in at MHC I'm going to be doing pretty well. And the free gym membership, I'm hoping, will motivate me to get my butt in gear fitness wise. Besides that, I'm just incredibly proud of myself for being able to do this--it wasn't all that long ago that I couldn't hold down one job, and now I have 2!
After that financial unpleasantness I mentioned a couple weeks back, I'd been kind of kicking around the idea of a second job in my head. But the only thing I could think that would work would be doing something in retail and working, like, one shift a week, on Saturday or Sunday. But I really don't want to give up a full day of my weekend so . . . yeah.
Then last week Deb, the financial controller at MHC, came into my office and mentioned that she'd gotten an email from the owner of the gym we partner with (the one where I used to have a membership) and that they were looking for someone to do clerical work. Super easy position, 6--8 hours a week, with a schedule that is completely flexible. So I went across the street after work and got an application.
I interviewed this past Monday, got offered the job on Tuesday, and I started training today after I got off at MHC. The work is simple and very doable, and I can literally work whenever I want. Plus I get a free gym membership!
I'm so excited. It's going to be nice to have extra money; between this and the overtime I've been putting in at MHC I'm going to be doing pretty well. And the free gym membership, I'm hoping, will motivate me to get my butt in gear fitness wise. Besides that, I'm just incredibly proud of myself for being able to do this--it wasn't all that long ago that I couldn't hold down one job, and now I have 2!
4.22.2014
So
It's been 3 weeks since I wrote anything here. I think that's the longest I've gone without blogging since I started back in 2012.
Honestly, the past few weeks have just been kind of a struggle. Not consistently, it's been up and down. Not to bipolar extremes but I've had some really good days and some not so great days. In general, things just feel kind of off, and I'm not exactly sure why. I think an internal struggle is finally resolving itself and while that's probably a good thing, it's kind of . . . off putting? I'll write more about that part of it later. For now, a general catch up.
It's getting warm out, and for the first time in a long time, I'm not dreading summer like I usually do. (We'll see how I feel about it 2 months from now, though). It's actually kind of nice to be able to go outside and take the dogs on long walks and stuff. Jerbs and I have been taking the dogs to the duck pond near our house; we let them run around without their leashes for a little while every time and it's hilarious. Hollie loves to run and she's fast! Max--who absolutely adores Hollie--actually gets scared of her sometimes when she's zooming around and trying to get him to join her.
But it's great having Hollie here. Adopting her was definitely a great decision. She's very well behaved and happy, and aside from some stomach issues (her stomach basically shrank from all the time she wasn't fed regularly, and now we have her on a feeding schedule to slowly expand it so she doesn't throw up), we've had a great time with her. She's had a few accidents in the house but was mostly house broken when we got her, so that's awesome. She knows how to sit now and she jumps in the car on her own when we go out.
And most importantly, she's had an amazing effect on Max. Seriously, he is like a whole new dog since we got her. He's more confident (he even let a stranger pet him at Staples the other day!), he's happier, he's more playful, and he's better behaved. In fact, we've been able to stop crating him when we're not home--we even disassembled his crate on Sunday. It made me so happy. We're also starting to leave off his bark collar when we're not home and it's going well. I think with Hollie around he's too distracted to be anxious or destructive. I love it. The two of them play together all the time and it's hilarious. Like I said, definitely a great decision.
My little April fitness challenge is going so so. I'm not doing great but I'm doing OK. Which is pretty typical for me when it comes to this stuff. Last time I weighed myself (about a week ago) I had gained a pound and a half, but all my measurements (except arms) had gone down by at least a quarter inch, so that's good. My work pants are fitting looser in the hips too, so that's nice. Slow but steady. I'm making small improvements as I feel able to. I've definitely been drinking less soda and more water this month, and I've been trying new workout videos too. And even on days when I've eaten fast food I've stayed under my MFP calorie limit, for the most part. Weekends are still tricky but no big deal. One thing I've really been working on lately is getting enough sleep, and that's been incredibly helpful. Who knew that that 8 hours a night thing actually worked, right? I never slept more than 6 hours a night in college and then after I graduated and got sick my sleep schedule was a complete and utter cluster fuck, so I honestly think I'm just now starting to figure out what works for me where that's concerned.
Work is good right now. Busy and at times frustrating but good. I feel like busy and sometimes frustrating is fairly normal for any job, so I think I'm doing well. And really, the frustration is really passing. When I find myself annoyed with a co-worker I'm usually over it like 10 minutes later. So whatever. I'm looking forward to May, because I get three paychecks (woohoo!!) and they'll be bigger because my gym membership is finally falling off in May.
I think that's about it. For the moment, anyhow.
Honestly, the past few weeks have just been kind of a struggle. Not consistently, it's been up and down. Not to bipolar extremes but I've had some really good days and some not so great days. In general, things just feel kind of off, and I'm not exactly sure why. I think an internal struggle is finally resolving itself and while that's probably a good thing, it's kind of . . . off putting? I'll write more about that part of it later. For now, a general catch up.
It's getting warm out, and for the first time in a long time, I'm not dreading summer like I usually do. (We'll see how I feel about it 2 months from now, though). It's actually kind of nice to be able to go outside and take the dogs on long walks and stuff. Jerbs and I have been taking the dogs to the duck pond near our house; we let them run around without their leashes for a little while every time and it's hilarious. Hollie loves to run and she's fast! Max--who absolutely adores Hollie--actually gets scared of her sometimes when she's zooming around and trying to get him to join her.
But it's great having Hollie here. Adopting her was definitely a great decision. She's very well behaved and happy, and aside from some stomach issues (her stomach basically shrank from all the time she wasn't fed regularly, and now we have her on a feeding schedule to slowly expand it so she doesn't throw up), we've had a great time with her. She's had a few accidents in the house but was mostly house broken when we got her, so that's awesome. She knows how to sit now and she jumps in the car on her own when we go out.
And most importantly, she's had an amazing effect on Max. Seriously, he is like a whole new dog since we got her. He's more confident (he even let a stranger pet him at Staples the other day!), he's happier, he's more playful, and he's better behaved. In fact, we've been able to stop crating him when we're not home--we even disassembled his crate on Sunday. It made me so happy. We're also starting to leave off his bark collar when we're not home and it's going well. I think with Hollie around he's too distracted to be anxious or destructive. I love it. The two of them play together all the time and it's hilarious. Like I said, definitely a great decision.
My little April fitness challenge is going so so. I'm not doing great but I'm doing OK. Which is pretty typical for me when it comes to this stuff. Last time I weighed myself (about a week ago) I had gained a pound and a half, but all my measurements (except arms) had gone down by at least a quarter inch, so that's good. My work pants are fitting looser in the hips too, so that's nice. Slow but steady. I'm making small improvements as I feel able to. I've definitely been drinking less soda and more water this month, and I've been trying new workout videos too. And even on days when I've eaten fast food I've stayed under my MFP calorie limit, for the most part. Weekends are still tricky but no big deal. One thing I've really been working on lately is getting enough sleep, and that's been incredibly helpful. Who knew that that 8 hours a night thing actually worked, right? I never slept more than 6 hours a night in college and then after I graduated and got sick my sleep schedule was a complete and utter cluster fuck, so I honestly think I'm just now starting to figure out what works for me where that's concerned.
Work is good right now. Busy and at times frustrating but good. I feel like busy and sometimes frustrating is fairly normal for any job, so I think I'm doing well. And really, the frustration is really passing. When I find myself annoyed with a co-worker I'm usually over it like 10 minutes later. So whatever. I'm looking forward to May, because I get three paychecks (woohoo!!) and they'll be bigger because my gym membership is finally falling off in May.
I think that's about it. For the moment, anyhow.
3.23.2014
Catching Up
There are a lot of blog entries I've been kicking around and planning in my head lately, and then I never get around to writing them. So here are the title and condensed versions, just for the sake of record keeping.
Benji
I don't know if I ever mentioned it but I did get Benji's ashes back, and they're sitting on one of my bookcases next to a framed photo of him. It's his little memorial corner. I miss him so much but it's getting easier. I know he's always with me, anyway, and it's comforting.
Max
March 16th was Max's Adoptionversary or Gotcha Day or whatever you want to call it. He's been my dog for a whole year now. I was going to write a full entry about it but I just don't feel up to it. Max has definitely had his pain in the ass moments since I adopted him but I definitely love him. He's a good little dog and he's made tremendous progress in the past year. He's much healthier and happier than he used to be, and I'm glad to have helped him to that point.
Work
Work was insane last week. Two people on vacation, my boss in transit from AZ to FL for most of the week, and some less than fantastic experiences with a couple of co-workers made for an unpleasant 36 hours. Last month (just after Benji died) I was asked to take over DME prior auth. for the sleep department, and it has kept me insanely busy. I love it. Before last week I was just at the edge of being overwhelmed with work, and that's generally when the point where I function best. Last week I was genuinely overwhelmed and I'm looking forward to my normal workload this coming week.
Fitness/Diet
I've been doing better in this area lately. I did cancel my gym membership, because I'm just not using it, and there's really no point in paying the $40 a month for it. I'm still working out at home and that's actually going pretty well. I just need to be more consistent instead of hit and miss.
Literally The Bitchiest Thing Anyone Has Ever Said To Me
This actually happened almost 2 months ago and I wasn't sure if I wanted to write about it . . . but I think it deserves a mention. It was one of my late stay days in February (for my super fun special mail project) and for whatever reason, I got to chatting with a co-worker. She said something about my honey missing me since I was staying late, and I laughed and said I was single. And then I joked about how I'm hopelessly single, and she said that she was too. But I know for a fact that she has a live in boyfriend so why she said that was beyond me. I said, "No you're not." And then she laughed, with this little condescending chuckle, and said, "You're right. I'm not." I was literally speechless and more or less just walked away after that. Seriously, so bitchy. So incredibly unnecessarily bitchy. And really kind of disrespectful . . . if my longtime live in S.O. randomly told people he or she was single I'd be livid. I just don't get it. This particular co-worker also once invited me to a Zumba class when she saw me eating a brownie at work last Halloween, so she definitely has a track record for this kind of stuff, but still.
Dancing With the Stars
DWTS started last Monday. I'm super excited for this season. Plus both my mom and my sister are watching too and that makes it more fun. They both mentioned something during the premiere about it being unfair that two of the contestants are gold medal winning ice dancers and kind of have an advantage . . . to which I pointed out that Derek Hough has literally won the contest with a professional dancer. Seriously. Definitely a facepalm moment.
Hollie
Is the newest member of my little family, and I will write more about her later.
Benji
I don't know if I ever mentioned it but I did get Benji's ashes back, and they're sitting on one of my bookcases next to a framed photo of him. It's his little memorial corner. I miss him so much but it's getting easier. I know he's always with me, anyway, and it's comforting.
Max
March 16th was Max's Adoptionversary or Gotcha Day or whatever you want to call it. He's been my dog for a whole year now. I was going to write a full entry about it but I just don't feel up to it. Max has definitely had his pain in the ass moments since I adopted him but I definitely love him. He's a good little dog and he's made tremendous progress in the past year. He's much healthier and happier than he used to be, and I'm glad to have helped him to that point.
Work
Work was insane last week. Two people on vacation, my boss in transit from AZ to FL for most of the week, and some less than fantastic experiences with a couple of co-workers made for an unpleasant 36 hours. Last month (just after Benji died) I was asked to take over DME prior auth. for the sleep department, and it has kept me insanely busy. I love it. Before last week I was just at the edge of being overwhelmed with work, and that's generally when the point where I function best. Last week I was genuinely overwhelmed and I'm looking forward to my normal workload this coming week.
Fitness/Diet
I've been doing better in this area lately. I did cancel my gym membership, because I'm just not using it, and there's really no point in paying the $40 a month for it. I'm still working out at home and that's actually going pretty well. I just need to be more consistent instead of hit and miss.
Literally The Bitchiest Thing Anyone Has Ever Said To Me
This actually happened almost 2 months ago and I wasn't sure if I wanted to write about it . . . but I think it deserves a mention. It was one of my late stay days in February (for my super fun special mail project) and for whatever reason, I got to chatting with a co-worker. She said something about my honey missing me since I was staying late, and I laughed and said I was single. And then I joked about how I'm hopelessly single, and she said that she was too. But I know for a fact that she has a live in boyfriend so why she said that was beyond me. I said, "No you're not." And then she laughed, with this little condescending chuckle, and said, "You're right. I'm not." I was literally speechless and more or less just walked away after that. Seriously, so bitchy. So incredibly unnecessarily bitchy. And really kind of disrespectful . . . if my longtime live in S.O. randomly told people he or she was single I'd be livid. I just don't get it. This particular co-worker also once invited me to a Zumba class when she saw me eating a brownie at work last Halloween, so she definitely has a track record for this kind of stuff, but still.
Dancing With the Stars
DWTS started last Monday. I'm super excited for this season. Plus both my mom and my sister are watching too and that makes it more fun. They both mentioned something during the premiere about it being unfair that two of the contestants are gold medal winning ice dancers and kind of have an advantage . . . to which I pointed out that Derek Hough has literally won the contest with a professional dancer. Seriously. Definitely a facepalm moment.
Hollie
Is the newest member of my little family, and I will write more about her later.
2.05.2014
I'm Good At Something!
And by something, I mean my job.
I've been at MHC for a year now (as of 1.16.14), and yesterday my boss and I finally got around to doing my annual performance review. I hate hate hate stuff like that and I was dreading it, but it actually went really well! My boss had nothing but good things to say AND I got a raise. So I'm pretty happy with that.
It's still strange to have a job I like, that I'm good at, where I'm appreciated and rewarded for what I do.
But strange in a good way.
Anyway, I am so genuinely happy with what I'm doing now. I fully intend to stay at MHC until I leave Arizona.
A good review and a raise almost make up for the fact that I am still without a debit card, and for the fact that I have been ridiculously, insanely lonely lately.
But those are things for other entries.
I've been at MHC for a year now (as of 1.16.14), and yesterday my boss and I finally got around to doing my annual performance review. I hate hate hate stuff like that and I was dreading it, but it actually went really well! My boss had nothing but good things to say AND I got a raise. So I'm pretty happy with that.
It's still strange to have a job I like, that I'm good at, where I'm appreciated and rewarded for what I do.
But strange in a good way.
Anyway, I am so genuinely happy with what I'm doing now. I fully intend to stay at MHC until I leave Arizona.
A good review and a raise almost make up for the fact that I am still without a debit card, and for the fact that I have been ridiculously, insanely lonely lately.
But those are things for other entries.
1.26.2014
Another Blah Week
Seriously. WTF life?
This past week was another just blah kinda thing. Last week it was my sleep schedule, but this week I don't know what was going on. I was just exhausted all week. Exhausted, kinda down, just blah and out of it. It sucked.
I think it's a few things. Stress at work, for one, because everything is changing and I don't like it. I did move into my new office Friday after work, and I think that once I get into it and stuff it'll be fine, but I'm still stressed out about it. I keep telling myself that regardless of who's doing what in my department there will always be something for me to do, that there is enough work to go around, and that whatever my duties end up being I will keep going to work because I like having a job. Whenever I start to get really upset about it I make myself remember where I was last November/December--unemployed and desperately checking CraigsList/AZ Daily Sun/Monster every night and hoping that I'd see something that I could do and praying that someone would like what they saw on my resume and called me for an interview. Those were not fun times and I don't miss it. I'm also stressed because my one year eval should be coming up right around the corner here (technically it should have already happened) and I just want it to be done and over with.
Also money related stress lately. I don't know why, because I don't actually have any major money problems at the moment. Well, aside from not having a debit card (STILL), which is just its own kind of cluster F. I just keep telling myself to relax. I have two months this year where I'll get 3 paychecks, which will be helpful to save some, and I should have a decent tax refund coming up. So really not much to worry about, but I do need to be, in general, better about managing my finances.
I did make a big purchase this weekend of a Polar FT 4 heart rate monitor to help me with my fitness goals. I'm super excited to wear it tomorrow. And really, if it helps me get healthy and reach my goals then it was worth what I paid for it. (Here's where my bank is screwing me--I could have gotten it cheaper online but without my debit card I didn't have that option. I had to buy locally, which isn't horrible, but still frustrating).
I also started taking a vitamin B complex supplement. I'm hoping it will help me with my energy level, which, as I mentioned, was non existent this past week. It already seems to be helping a bit (today, for example, was leaps and bounds better than every other day this week).
Some of this is my lady parts, too, because *that* should be right around the corner. Blech.
But I'm staying optimistic. New week, fresh start, all that crap, right?
This past week was another just blah kinda thing. Last week it was my sleep schedule, but this week I don't know what was going on. I was just exhausted all week. Exhausted, kinda down, just blah and out of it. It sucked.
I think it's a few things. Stress at work, for one, because everything is changing and I don't like it. I did move into my new office Friday after work, and I think that once I get into it and stuff it'll be fine, but I'm still stressed out about it. I keep telling myself that regardless of who's doing what in my department there will always be something for me to do, that there is enough work to go around, and that whatever my duties end up being I will keep going to work because I like having a job. Whenever I start to get really upset about it I make myself remember where I was last November/December--unemployed and desperately checking CraigsList/AZ Daily Sun/Monster every night and hoping that I'd see something that I could do and praying that someone would like what they saw on my resume and called me for an interview. Those were not fun times and I don't miss it. I'm also stressed because my one year eval should be coming up right around the corner here (technically it should have already happened) and I just want it to be done and over with.
Also money related stress lately. I don't know why, because I don't actually have any major money problems at the moment. Well, aside from not having a debit card (STILL), which is just its own kind of cluster F. I just keep telling myself to relax. I have two months this year where I'll get 3 paychecks, which will be helpful to save some, and I should have a decent tax refund coming up. So really not much to worry about, but I do need to be, in general, better about managing my finances.
I did make a big purchase this weekend of a Polar FT 4 heart rate monitor to help me with my fitness goals. I'm super excited to wear it tomorrow. And really, if it helps me get healthy and reach my goals then it was worth what I paid for it. (Here's where my bank is screwing me--I could have gotten it cheaper online but without my debit card I didn't have that option. I had to buy locally, which isn't horrible, but still frustrating).
I also started taking a vitamin B complex supplement. I'm hoping it will help me with my energy level, which, as I mentioned, was non existent this past week. It already seems to be helping a bit (today, for example, was leaps and bounds better than every other day this week).
Some of this is my lady parts, too, because *that* should be right around the corner. Blech.
But I'm staying optimistic. New week, fresh start, all that crap, right?
1.21.2014
Today
I went to the gym. It was crowded and my legs are suuuuper mad at me but it also felt good to get back to it. I hadn't been to the gym since (I think) October. Shameful. So I'm pretty dang proud of myself for going.
I'm less proud of myself for the nap I took after work. I had every intention of staying awake like I should but . . . sometimes (most of the time) I just can't resist.
And I also cut my thumb open with my mail opener at work. It bled through the Band-Aid I put on it and was generally pretty gross. I have been joking for the past year that I was going to end up injuring myself with that thing, and all my co-workers were convinced it was too blunt and thus impossible. Well, I proved them wrong. Because I'm just that freaking awesome.
I'm less proud of myself for the nap I took after work. I had every intention of staying awake like I should but . . . sometimes (most of the time) I just can't resist.
And I also cut my thumb open with my mail opener at work. It bled through the Band-Aid I put on it and was generally pretty gross. I have been joking for the past year that I was going to end up injuring myself with that thing, and all my co-workers were convinced it was too blunt and thus impossible. Well, I proved them wrong. Because I'm just that freaking awesome.
1.20.2014
Did I Mention I Had A Baby?
Obviously I didn't actually have a baby.
But last night I dreamt very, very vividly that I did. And I wasn't happy about it. I kept looking at the baby in my dream and wondering how in the hell it had happened, and then being overcome with anxiety at the thought of moving to Seattle with the baby (because apparently the baby's father and I had moving plans), and I think I asked my mom if she would keep it. (I'm saying it because it wasn't clear in the dream whether it was a boy or a girl . . . the baby's dad in my dream was also not clear, just some random character my head invented . . . none of my exes, none of my guy friends). In my dream I had apparently never mentioned my pregnancy or the fact that I gave birth on my blog, and I decided that I probably should, and I titled the dream post "Did I Mention I Had A Baby?".
Weird. So weird. And so freaking vivid that I woke up at the very edge of a full on anxiety attack, and it took me a second to come back and remember that I am childless, at which point I was just immensely relieved.
I blame this on the blog I was reading just before I went to bed.
In other news, I have had a lovely 3 day weekend. I've made a lot of progress on my massive cleaning/organizing plan for the apartment and it's starting to look less cluttered and disorganized now. I also haven't worn real pants or brushed my hair since Friday. Glorious.
Last week wasn't great. I went on kind of a food bender last week. It was bad. I think it had a lot to do with my sleep schedule, which was effed up all week long. Last Sunday night I couldn't sleep, and tossed and turned until almost 3 AM, which of course led to a nap after work, which led to staying up too late again, and so on and so forth. So I was basically tired all week. And then there was all the stress and whatnot at work, and in my head the best cure for stress is CALORIES so . . . yeah. Failure all around last week.
So I'm looking forward to this week, because tomorrow is already Tuesday, and Friday is payday, and since I ate so much fast food last week I still have a shit load of groceries left, so I'm good for this week. I'm confident I'm going to kick ass food/fitness wise this week.
Also, my whole house is clean. Which is always a good way to start the week.
And I'm feeling better about the work stuff I talked about last time I posted. I'm actually starting to get really excited about moving to my office. It'll be a nice change of pace. I'm also confident that things will work out workload wise the way I want them to. Here's hoping, anyway.
And with that, I need to go finish up my laundry.
1.15.2014
Work Related Frustrations
I said before that things were kind of shaking up a little at work. When I wrote that here, the shake ups were on the clinical side of things--i.e., not really anything that was going to impact my day to day very much. So I was taking it in stride, NBD, whatever.
Well.
Remember the co-worker I've talked about on here before who was going to leave, then wasn't, then was, then wasn't? We found out yesterday that she officially gave her two week notice on the tenth. Apparently it's a for real this time kinda thing so her last day is the 24th. That part I'm not so upset about. I like this co-worker, and I'm sure we'll stay in touch, but if anyone needs a break, it's most definitely her. I think it'll be good for her.
So one of the girls who currently works at the front desk is moving back to billing. Which, frankly, I don't think is necessary. I'm pretty anxious about this. I feel like, right now, I hardly have enough work to do as it is, and I'm terrified of losing any of my workload. This girl will really just be taking over the stuff that the leaving co-worker's doing now, but still.
Plus I've been convinced that it would be best for me to give up my desk for the new girl and move to a different office/work space. I'm not thrilled about that. I genuinely love my tiny, weird little workspace, and I don't want to leave it. I don't. But at the same time . . . I guess it's kind of a choose your battle thing, and this is one of those opportunities to be the bigger person.
And honestly, my job is going to be the same wherever I work from, so I suppose that in the long run it's not a big deal.
And I've made it clear that I want to take over BCBS. That was part of the plan when this co-worker was originally leaving, and honestly, the best two weeks of work I've had were when she was gone and I was doing that. I stayed busy, my days went by fast, and I like that. I function best when I'm busy.
So really, it'll be fine. As long as I can keep Medicare, get BCBS, and keep my mail duties, I'll be happy. And as long as I can take my computer with me . . . I like my screens and I've got everything set up how I want it, so I don't see moving it as a big deal.
I just hate not knowing exactly what's going to happen. I like knowing what's going on. I'd feel better if I could move my office tomorrow, but I have another week.5 until that happens. I guess I just prefer things being settled, and having someone new coming in is a shake up that I've never had to deal with.
Really, my biggest fear is ending up hating my job. I like loving my job. I do. I don't want to go back to dreading going to work like I have at jobs in the past.
I know I need to just play it by ear and take it as it comes because stressing about it isn't going to do me any good.
Well.
Remember the co-worker I've talked about on here before who was going to leave, then wasn't, then was, then wasn't? We found out yesterday that she officially gave her two week notice on the tenth. Apparently it's a for real this time kinda thing so her last day is the 24th. That part I'm not so upset about. I like this co-worker, and I'm sure we'll stay in touch, but if anyone needs a break, it's most definitely her. I think it'll be good for her.
So one of the girls who currently works at the front desk is moving back to billing. Which, frankly, I don't think is necessary. I'm pretty anxious about this. I feel like, right now, I hardly have enough work to do as it is, and I'm terrified of losing any of my workload. This girl will really just be taking over the stuff that the leaving co-worker's doing now, but still.
Plus I've been convinced that it would be best for me to give up my desk for the new girl and move to a different office/work space. I'm not thrilled about that. I genuinely love my tiny, weird little workspace, and I don't want to leave it. I don't. But at the same time . . . I guess it's kind of a choose your battle thing, and this is one of those opportunities to be the bigger person.
And honestly, my job is going to be the same wherever I work from, so I suppose that in the long run it's not a big deal.
And I've made it clear that I want to take over BCBS. That was part of the plan when this co-worker was originally leaving, and honestly, the best two weeks of work I've had were when she was gone and I was doing that. I stayed busy, my days went by fast, and I like that. I function best when I'm busy.
So really, it'll be fine. As long as I can keep Medicare, get BCBS, and keep my mail duties, I'll be happy. And as long as I can take my computer with me . . . I like my screens and I've got everything set up how I want it, so I don't see moving it as a big deal.
I just hate not knowing exactly what's going to happen. I like knowing what's going on. I'd feel better if I could move my office tomorrow, but I have another week.5 until that happens. I guess I just prefer things being settled, and having someone new coming in is a shake up that I've never had to deal with.
Really, my biggest fear is ending up hating my job. I like loving my job. I do. I don't want to go back to dreading going to work like I have at jobs in the past.
I know I need to just play it by ear and take it as it comes because stressing about it isn't going to do me any good.
1.08.2014
So Far, So Good
I know we're only 8 days in but so far, 2014 is going pretty well for me.
Minus the fact that I had to call in sick on 01.02.14, aka the very first work day of the entire year. I was not pleased. Fortunately I have an understanding boss but it sucked.
And also minus the fact that I'm currently without a debit card. That one's kind of a long story.
But aside from that.
Physical Health: I am actually kind of killing it in this area right now. I'm doing awesome food wise, and I've been consistently at or under my calorie goal almost every day since the first. And I've only eaten fast food 3 times so far this year! I know that 5/8 days without fast food isn't terribly impressive but for me it's pretty big. And like I said, I know we're only 8 days into the year, but I really feel like I can finally do this. I haven't found the motivation to go to the gym yet this year, though. It's not that I don't want to work out, because I do, it's that I just literally don't want to go to the gym. I just don't want to be there. I don't know why, because I like my gym. But I am hoping to start doing weekly yoga next week, so we'll see how that goes.
I did work out tonight, though. A few nights ago Jerbs showed me how I can plug the laptop into the TV, so tonight I did that and found a cardio video on YouTube and just did that. I felt like an idiot, because I've never been a huge fan of at home workout videos, but it got my heart rate up and that's what's important, right? It involved a lot of jumping jacks and my legs are not happy with me . . . blech. But I'm taking it slow and I feel like, in a month, I'll be able to do the whole video. Little steps.
Mental Health: Is good! I'm still working on finding a new doctor, and I actually really need to get on it, it's just difficult. Plus there really aren't many psychiatrists in town who aren't either at the hospital (and don't see private patients), The Guidance Center (which only sees AHCCCS patients), or my old doctor's office. I did not realize that until I started googling. So it's going to be a process. But I've got plenty of medicine and my mood's fine so I'm really not all that worried.
Work: Is awesome. I'm almost to my one year anniversary and I've started to feel very confident and competent. I love it. I honestly feel like I get a little better everyday. Things are in the process of getting very shaken up but I think we'll all be fine. (And yes, that was deliberately vague).
So life is just good right now. I'm happy, I feel healthy, new episodes of Sherlock finally started airing . . . really I can't complain!
I do have more serious things to write about (just kind of need to sort them out kinda stuff) but that's for later. For the moment I just wanted to share that things are awesome!
Minus the fact that I had to call in sick on 01.02.14, aka the very first work day of the entire year. I was not pleased. Fortunately I have an understanding boss but it sucked.
And also minus the fact that I'm currently without a debit card. That one's kind of a long story.
But aside from that.
Physical Health: I am actually kind of killing it in this area right now. I'm doing awesome food wise, and I've been consistently at or under my calorie goal almost every day since the first. And I've only eaten fast food 3 times so far this year! I know that 5/8 days without fast food isn't terribly impressive but for me it's pretty big. And like I said, I know we're only 8 days into the year, but I really feel like I can finally do this. I haven't found the motivation to go to the gym yet this year, though. It's not that I don't want to work out, because I do, it's that I just literally don't want to go to the gym. I just don't want to be there. I don't know why, because I like my gym. But I am hoping to start doing weekly yoga next week, so we'll see how that goes.
I did work out tonight, though. A few nights ago Jerbs showed me how I can plug the laptop into the TV, so tonight I did that and found a cardio video on YouTube and just did that. I felt like an idiot, because I've never been a huge fan of at home workout videos, but it got my heart rate up and that's what's important, right? It involved a lot of jumping jacks and my legs are not happy with me . . . blech. But I'm taking it slow and I feel like, in a month, I'll be able to do the whole video. Little steps.
Mental Health: Is good! I'm still working on finding a new doctor, and I actually really need to get on it, it's just difficult. Plus there really aren't many psychiatrists in town who aren't either at the hospital (and don't see private patients), The Guidance Center (which only sees AHCCCS patients), or my old doctor's office. I did not realize that until I started googling. So it's going to be a process. But I've got plenty of medicine and my mood's fine so I'm really not all that worried.
Work: Is awesome. I'm almost to my one year anniversary and I've started to feel very confident and competent. I love it. I honestly feel like I get a little better everyday. Things are in the process of getting very shaken up but I think we'll all be fine. (And yes, that was deliberately vague).
So life is just good right now. I'm happy, I feel healthy, new episodes of Sherlock finally started airing . . . really I can't complain!
I do have more serious things to write about (just kind of need to sort them out kinda stuff) but that's for later. For the moment I just wanted to share that things are awesome!
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