Three days until we fly to Seattle!!
I'm so excited and feeling so overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to do. Because as usual I vowed that I would be super on top of things and get stuff done in advance and as usual I've done absolutely nothing that I needed to do so. Yeah. I can't believe how quick the time between booking the trip and now has gone by, it seems like just yesterday that I still had 120 some odd days until the trip and now it's time to actually get ready and go!
I did finally buy a big suitcase tonight so we can start packing, so that feels like a step in the right direction.
I can't wait!
5.21.2016
5.19.2016
Health and Fitness Update
I haven't really done a lot of posting about health and fitness and weight loss and all that stuff so far this year. And the reason for that is that I'm basically stalled in those particular areas at the moment.
I started off doing really well in January. I weighed in at 190 pounds on the first of the year and kicked ass in January, I was really consistent and just did well. And I thought I could carry that momentum into the rest of the year and I was wrong.
In February I started doing yoga once a week and really enjoyed it. But February ended up being a tough month mental health wise: turning 31, my youngest sister turning 23, the anniversary of my and my ex's engagement, it really hitting me that I'm going to move out of AZ this year, etc. And I reverted back to old stress eating habits and undid all my January progress.
March and April were only a little bit better. I quite going to yoga at the end of March. And basically I didn't try at all for those months.
And now it's May and I'm still in that not caring not trying mode. I don't know why but I just can't seem to shake it, and it's extremely frustrating. I know my health is suffering. I want to lose weight so badly, and I know EXACTLY what I need to do to make that happen, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.
With my vacation coming up soon, I'm letting myself not worry about it for now. I'm going to go on my trip, have a good time, and then when I get back I'll try and re-focus on the weight loss thing. I'm not feeling super confident about it, but I at least have to tell myself I'm going to try, right?
I started off doing really well in January. I weighed in at 190 pounds on the first of the year and kicked ass in January, I was really consistent and just did well. And I thought I could carry that momentum into the rest of the year and I was wrong.
In February I started doing yoga once a week and really enjoyed it. But February ended up being a tough month mental health wise: turning 31, my youngest sister turning 23, the anniversary of my and my ex's engagement, it really hitting me that I'm going to move out of AZ this year, etc. And I reverted back to old stress eating habits and undid all my January progress.
March and April were only a little bit better. I quite going to yoga at the end of March. And basically I didn't try at all for those months.
And now it's May and I'm still in that not caring not trying mode. I don't know why but I just can't seem to shake it, and it's extremely frustrating. I know my health is suffering. I want to lose weight so badly, and I know EXACTLY what I need to do to make that happen, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.
With my vacation coming up soon, I'm letting myself not worry about it for now. I'm going to go on my trip, have a good time, and then when I get back I'll try and re-focus on the weight loss thing. I'm not feeling super confident about it, but I at least have to tell myself I'm going to try, right?
5.18.2016
Viva Alpha Chi
This all actually happened before Alton but I haven't wanted to write about it until now.
Back on like May 6th, Theresa texted me and asked me to call her when I had a chance and was, and I quote, "ready to be new shades of angry." This completely freaked me out because Theresa and I don't really talk on the phone, we text, so I knew it had to be bad. I also had a feeling it was about our sorority, and sure enough, she had wanted to tell me that our charter had officially been pulled by the director of bands at NAU.
Honestly, this is something that's probably been a long time coming, but it still sucks and is completely unfair, and it was still unexpected. Basically Dr. Schmidt, NAU's director of bands, is a gigantic tool, and he always has been. He was D.o.B. when I was at NAU, and I never liked him. He just always gave off a douchey vive, and he's a total misogynist. When I started at NAU, the associate D.o.B. was this amazing woman (Ms. Jones) who made band a blast and really made us into a great group, and she left after 3 years because she couldn't stand working with Schmidt. She flat out said he had always made it obvious that he hated having a woman working under him, and she had enough. That was why I left marching band, actually. He was (and probably still is) a huge alcoholic and kind of known for showing up to events and rehearsals drunk.
So of course someone like that isn't going to be a big fan of an organization that promotes, supports, and celebrates women in music. He was always demeaning when I was active, always acting like TBS didn't matter and wasn't important; I remember once he suggested us having a sleepover and giving each other mani/pedis as a service project, because why would women be good for anything else, right? He's been trying for years and years to pull the charter, there were rumors about it when I was active and there have been rumors about it since I left. And with no warning, with no catalyst or significant fuck up to warrant it, he finally got his way, and the Alpha Chi chapter officially no longer exists.
The Tuesday after it happened the chapter held an outgoing sister ceremony at Marshall Lake; Theresa came into town for it, and even though it was a sad occasion, I was thrilled to get to see my BFF. A couple other alumni were up from Phoenix (including one I hadn't seen since a very awkward encounter back in 2010 when I was dating Corey), so that was . . . nice. (This isn't really related to the chapter thing, but it was nice to make peace with this little bit of my past. This girl was the last person from the Corey era drama stuff that needed to happen with and I'm glad to have done it before I move away). Anyway, the outgoing sisterhood ceremony was really beautiful, and it was so nice to meet the active chapter. I was so impressed with all of them, and I found myself wishing I'd been a more involved alumni when I'd had the chance . . . but nothing I can do about that now, so I'm not going to dwell on it. It was sad and moving but it felt so good to be out in the woods around a campfire with my sisters, singing our hymn and sharing stories about sisterhood. It had been so long since I'd experienced that, and I am very, very grateful that I got to do it again before I leave. It feels fitting that it happened as my time in Flagstaff is coming to a close. I'm sad for the girls who loved TBS and didn't get to experience it for very long, though; but I'm also proud at how few of them are going to KKPsi. (Side story: we were out at the lake until freaking midnight. I went to bed at like 1 AM and actually made it to work the next day, I was so proud of myself! I haven't pulled that kind of shit in a loooong time!).
Some of the alumni and actives are still fighting the chapter closing, there's been a petition going around online and I know a few of them have coordinated letter writing to Schmidt. At this point I'm not getting involved any further because, as upsetting as the whole thing is, I have so much bigger and more important things going on in my life than my old sorority. And maybe that makes me sound like a terrible person but I honestly don't feel all that bad. In a weird way it feels good to be so far removed from it, to feel how far my life has come from when I was active and to have made amends with TBS.
Back on like May 6th, Theresa texted me and asked me to call her when I had a chance and was, and I quote, "ready to be new shades of angry." This completely freaked me out because Theresa and I don't really talk on the phone, we text, so I knew it had to be bad. I also had a feeling it was about our sorority, and sure enough, she had wanted to tell me that our charter had officially been pulled by the director of bands at NAU.
Honestly, this is something that's probably been a long time coming, but it still sucks and is completely unfair, and it was still unexpected. Basically Dr. Schmidt, NAU's director of bands, is a gigantic tool, and he always has been. He was D.o.B. when I was at NAU, and I never liked him. He just always gave off a douchey vive, and he's a total misogynist. When I started at NAU, the associate D.o.B. was this amazing woman (Ms. Jones) who made band a blast and really made us into a great group, and she left after 3 years because she couldn't stand working with Schmidt. She flat out said he had always made it obvious that he hated having a woman working under him, and she had enough. That was why I left marching band, actually. He was (and probably still is) a huge alcoholic and kind of known for showing up to events and rehearsals drunk.
So of course someone like that isn't going to be a big fan of an organization that promotes, supports, and celebrates women in music. He was always demeaning when I was active, always acting like TBS didn't matter and wasn't important; I remember once he suggested us having a sleepover and giving each other mani/pedis as a service project, because why would women be good for anything else, right? He's been trying for years and years to pull the charter, there were rumors about it when I was active and there have been rumors about it since I left. And with no warning, with no catalyst or significant fuck up to warrant it, he finally got his way, and the Alpha Chi chapter officially no longer exists.
The Tuesday after it happened the chapter held an outgoing sister ceremony at Marshall Lake; Theresa came into town for it, and even though it was a sad occasion, I was thrilled to get to see my BFF. A couple other alumni were up from Phoenix (including one I hadn't seen since a very awkward encounter back in 2010 when I was dating Corey), so that was . . . nice. (This isn't really related to the chapter thing, but it was nice to make peace with this little bit of my past. This girl was the last person from the Corey era drama stuff that needed to happen with and I'm glad to have done it before I move away). Anyway, the outgoing sisterhood ceremony was really beautiful, and it was so nice to meet the active chapter. I was so impressed with all of them, and I found myself wishing I'd been a more involved alumni when I'd had the chance . . . but nothing I can do about that now, so I'm not going to dwell on it. It was sad and moving but it felt so good to be out in the woods around a campfire with my sisters, singing our hymn and sharing stories about sisterhood. It had been so long since I'd experienced that, and I am very, very grateful that I got to do it again before I leave. It feels fitting that it happened as my time in Flagstaff is coming to a close. I'm sad for the girls who loved TBS and didn't get to experience it for very long, though; but I'm also proud at how few of them are going to KKPsi. (Side story: we were out at the lake until freaking midnight. I went to bed at like 1 AM and actually made it to work the next day, I was so proud of myself! I haven't pulled that kind of shit in a loooong time!).
Some of the alumni and actives are still fighting the chapter closing, there's been a petition going around online and I know a few of them have coordinated letter writing to Schmidt. At this point I'm not getting involved any further because, as upsetting as the whole thing is, I have so much bigger and more important things going on in my life than my old sorority. And maybe that makes me sound like a terrible person but I honestly don't feel all that bad. In a weird way it feels good to be so far removed from it, to feel how far my life has come from when I was active and to have made amends with TBS.
5.16.2016
Alton Brown Live: Eat Your Science
Last night was Alton Brown Live, and OMG it was freaking awesome. It was absolutely nothing that I was expecting (because honestly what are you supposed to expect when a chef goes on tour?), but it was so good and so, so worth it.
First of all, Alton Brown is a much better singer than I'd have expected, and during the show he plays guitar and has a keyboardist and a drummer on stage with him. He opened with a song called "Science: Heck Yeah!" that was very entertaining. Then he talked about what he'd do if he was the God of food (which he says will only happen if current God of food, Anthony Bourdain, is killed or kidnapped). Then he talked about GMO's and sang another song about a GMO protester who told him how GMO's will bring about the zombie apocalypse (that song was a cowboy waltz). After that he brought a mobile bar on stage and had a volunteer from the audience come up to play a game called "Spin Your Poison," which ended with him mixing a gin, brandy, and soy sauce cocktail and then playing with liquid nitrogen to make it not so disgusting.
Then there was an intermission and the second act was all about popcorn. It opened with the third song of the night, which was a pop synth song about popcorn. There was also a giant air popper called Astro Pop, and an eventual popcorn explosion that was pretty amazing to watch. Also in this portion of the show was a part where Alton and his second audience volunteer sucked helium and read a scene from Pulp Fiction, which was awesome. Alton kept joking that he's going to make a whole show where he just does movie scenes on helium with various celebrities and call it A Helium Home Companion with Alton Brown. (For the record, I would watch the hell out of that).
After a Q and A (where all the questions came from Twitter), he did another song called "Mise en Place" that was set to the tune of "Edelweiss" from the Sound of Music. Side note: this was especially hilarious because Jerbs and I have a weird inside joke related to the song Edelweiss. Basically, a few years ago, not too long after I'd moved back to Flagstaff, there was a point where I realized Jerbs had never seen the Sound of Music, and we ended up watching it one night when it was on TV. I honestly don't remember now exactly how it came about but somehow we ended up having this weird joke where we basically sing Edelweiss in this weird voice, and now whenever we hear that word or song we crack up. So Alton Brown singing something to its tune was just . . . amazing. It felt very full circle. He started playing and Jerbs and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing, and kept laughing until we cried. The people next to us probably thought we were nuts but whatever, it was such a perfect moment.
After that song Alton got a standing ovation so he did another song called "Airport Shrimp Cocktail," which has been stuck in my head ever since. And that was that. By then it had been 3 hours since the show started but I still wished there was more. It was really just so, so great. Alton Brown is quite an entertainer, and there's something about seeing a guy who's a self professed nerd doing a show that is just so completely all of his own making and selling out venues doing it that is really inspiring. I loved every second of it.
Oh, at one point in the Q and A, he called himself a high functioning sociopath, which is a Sherlock reference, and I was the only person in the audience who got it and cheered. It made me feel special lol.
Other than the show, we also went to Hobby Lobby (dangerous dangerous dangerous, it was a good thing I hadn't gotten my new debit card at the time) and Hastings (so nostalgic). And we had dinner at Red Robin, since we don't have one here in Flag. And we had In and Out on the way out of town, because we can't go to Prescott and not get In and Out.
All in all a great weekend, I can't wait for Alton to tour again!
ALSO, 8 DAYS UNTIL SEATTLE!!
First of all, Alton Brown is a much better singer than I'd have expected, and during the show he plays guitar and has a keyboardist and a drummer on stage with him. He opened with a song called "Science: Heck Yeah!" that was very entertaining. Then he talked about what he'd do if he was the God of food (which he says will only happen if current God of food, Anthony Bourdain, is killed or kidnapped). Then he talked about GMO's and sang another song about a GMO protester who told him how GMO's will bring about the zombie apocalypse (that song was a cowboy waltz). After that he brought a mobile bar on stage and had a volunteer from the audience come up to play a game called "Spin Your Poison," which ended with him mixing a gin, brandy, and soy sauce cocktail and then playing with liquid nitrogen to make it not so disgusting.
Then there was an intermission and the second act was all about popcorn. It opened with the third song of the night, which was a pop synth song about popcorn. There was also a giant air popper called Astro Pop, and an eventual popcorn explosion that was pretty amazing to watch. Also in this portion of the show was a part where Alton and his second audience volunteer sucked helium and read a scene from Pulp Fiction, which was awesome. Alton kept joking that he's going to make a whole show where he just does movie scenes on helium with various celebrities and call it A Helium Home Companion with Alton Brown. (For the record, I would watch the hell out of that).
After a Q and A (where all the questions came from Twitter), he did another song called "Mise en Place" that was set to the tune of "Edelweiss" from the Sound of Music. Side note: this was especially hilarious because Jerbs and I have a weird inside joke related to the song Edelweiss. Basically, a few years ago, not too long after I'd moved back to Flagstaff, there was a point where I realized Jerbs had never seen the Sound of Music, and we ended up watching it one night when it was on TV. I honestly don't remember now exactly how it came about but somehow we ended up having this weird joke where we basically sing Edelweiss in this weird voice, and now whenever we hear that word or song we crack up. So Alton Brown singing something to its tune was just . . . amazing. It felt very full circle. He started playing and Jerbs and I just looked at each other and burst out laughing, and kept laughing until we cried. The people next to us probably thought we were nuts but whatever, it was such a perfect moment.
After that song Alton got a standing ovation so he did another song called "Airport Shrimp Cocktail," which has been stuck in my head ever since. And that was that. By then it had been 3 hours since the show started but I still wished there was more. It was really just so, so great. Alton Brown is quite an entertainer, and there's something about seeing a guy who's a self professed nerd doing a show that is just so completely all of his own making and selling out venues doing it that is really inspiring. I loved every second of it.
Oh, at one point in the Q and A, he called himself a high functioning sociopath, which is a Sherlock reference, and I was the only person in the audience who got it and cheered. It made me feel special lol.
Other than the show, we also went to Hobby Lobby (dangerous dangerous dangerous, it was a good thing I hadn't gotten my new debit card at the time) and Hastings (so nostalgic). And we had dinner at Red Robin, since we don't have one here in Flag. And we had In and Out on the way out of town, because we can't go to Prescott and not get In and Out.
All in all a great weekend, I can't wait for Alton to tour again!
ALSO, 8 DAYS UNTIL SEATTLE!!
5.01.2016
122 Days (2016)
It's the first of May! The official start of summer!
Not that you would think it was even remotely summer time based on the weather . . . it's cold and rainy and it actually snowed pretty hard last night and we've had the big heater on a lot the past few days. I really don't mind it, I like having extra blankets on my bed still and getting to snuggle under them, and I like being able to wear sweaters and boots to work.
But either way, it is May 1st, which means that the 122 days of summer time is here.
This year, those 122 days will be devoted to completing the AZ Bucket List we've made--all the things we want to do before we leave AZ in the fall. I'm actually really glad we decided to wait until September to move, because as nice as leaving earlier would be, getting to spend the whole summer here and move as it ends feels somehow fitting. I like it when things tie up nicely like that.
So this summer we'll be doing as many FUTS trails as we can, hopefully taking a trip to the Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, and Havasupai (just to name a few). I'm planning to do the Climb to Conquer Cancer in August with my sister. And of course, we'll be packing and cleaning and getting ready for the big move! I'm looking forward to summer and doing a lot of fun Flagstaff/AZ stuff before we leave.
In a couple weeks we're actually going to Prescott to see Alton Brown live, so I'm looking forward to that. Jerbs is really, REALLY looking forward to it, so it should be fun!
Here's to my last summer in Flagstaff!!
Not that you would think it was even remotely summer time based on the weather . . . it's cold and rainy and it actually snowed pretty hard last night and we've had the big heater on a lot the past few days. I really don't mind it, I like having extra blankets on my bed still and getting to snuggle under them, and I like being able to wear sweaters and boots to work.
But either way, it is May 1st, which means that the 122 days of summer time is here.
This year, those 122 days will be devoted to completing the AZ Bucket List we've made--all the things we want to do before we leave AZ in the fall. I'm actually really glad we decided to wait until September to move, because as nice as leaving earlier would be, getting to spend the whole summer here and move as it ends feels somehow fitting. I like it when things tie up nicely like that.
So this summer we'll be doing as many FUTS trails as we can, hopefully taking a trip to the Grand Canyon, Antelope Canyon, and Havasupai (just to name a few). I'm planning to do the Climb to Conquer Cancer in August with my sister. And of course, we'll be packing and cleaning and getting ready for the big move! I'm looking forward to summer and doing a lot of fun Flagstaff/AZ stuff before we leave.
In a couple weeks we're actually going to Prescott to see Alton Brown live, so I'm looking forward to that. Jerbs is really, REALLY looking forward to it, so it should be fun!
Here's to my last summer in Flagstaff!!
3.03.2016
Moving Related Conversations
Moving to the PNW seems to be the most talked about thing between Jerbs and me right now.
We talked about the possibility of leaving Flagstaff earlier than September. The point of staying until then was to reduce the amount I'd owe MHC for my coding class when I quit, and now that I'm not quitting, I don't have to worry about that. We talked about leaving at the end of June, which is when our lease is actually up and would make the most sense. But our trip to WA is at the end of May, and I feel like getting back and only having 30 days before we leave would just be a little too much stress. Plus it wouldn't be great financially, we need more time to save up. Then we talked about leaving at the end of July, and we had pretty much agreed that we were going to do that. Then Jerbs remembered that she's going to ComicCon at the end of July so we nixed that idea. I didn't want to have to do all the cleaning and packing mostly alone, and the turn around time of her getting back and us leaving like 3 days later felt like it would be too stressful. So the plan is still to leave at the end of August/beginning of September. I'm actually glad for that, just because it gives us plenty of time to save and get our ducks in a row, and I like the idea of leaving at the end of summer. I'm just weird like that.
I've also been banned, mostly by myself but also by Jerbs, from looking at apartments online for the month of March. I've been getting a little . . . carried away looking at apartments, trying to find somewhere we can live, and having massive anxiety attacks about not being able to find a nice place etc. etc. etc. It's getting to a bad point so I'm forcing myself to just stop for a month and take a step back from it. Jerbs has (rightfully) pointed out that the move is still far enough away that looking at apartment right now is pretty pointless, and that I'm not going to pick anywhere until I see places when we go to WA in May anyway. So that's that. (Full disclosure, I've already failed at my ban twice since I imposed it--yesterday and the day before. I've been good today, though!).
We talked about the possibility of leaving Flagstaff earlier than September. The point of staying until then was to reduce the amount I'd owe MHC for my coding class when I quit, and now that I'm not quitting, I don't have to worry about that. We talked about leaving at the end of June, which is when our lease is actually up and would make the most sense. But our trip to WA is at the end of May, and I feel like getting back and only having 30 days before we leave would just be a little too much stress. Plus it wouldn't be great financially, we need more time to save up. Then we talked about leaving at the end of July, and we had pretty much agreed that we were going to do that. Then Jerbs remembered that she's going to ComicCon at the end of July so we nixed that idea. I didn't want to have to do all the cleaning and packing mostly alone, and the turn around time of her getting back and us leaving like 3 days later felt like it would be too stressful. So the plan is still to leave at the end of August/beginning of September. I'm actually glad for that, just because it gives us plenty of time to save and get our ducks in a row, and I like the idea of leaving at the end of summer. I'm just weird like that.
I've also been banned, mostly by myself but also by Jerbs, from looking at apartments online for the month of March. I've been getting a little . . . carried away looking at apartments, trying to find somewhere we can live, and having massive anxiety attacks about not being able to find a nice place etc. etc. etc. It's getting to a bad point so I'm forcing myself to just stop for a month and take a step back from it. Jerbs has (rightfully) pointed out that the move is still far enough away that looking at apartment right now is pretty pointless, and that I'm not going to pick anywhere until I see places when we go to WA in May anyway. So that's that. (Full disclosure, I've already failed at my ban twice since I imposed it--yesterday and the day before. I've been good today, though!).
2.10.2016
The Big Three One
Today I turned 31. It's extremely surreal to think about that, and I think that in the next couple weeks I'm probably going to get all up in my head about it, but today was a really good day so that's what I'm focusing on right now.
I was really excited for my birthday this year because after how horrible last year was, I figured there was nowhere to go but up. And I was right!
Yesterday when I went to the gym I found a $10 Dunkin' Donuts giftcard waiting for me, and this morning, I checked my work email to find that my boss had sent me a $25 Dunkin' Donuts giftcard, so I'm going to be super caffeinated this week! I was so touched that she thought to get me something, I seriously love her. Almost ALL of my co-workers remembered my birthday this year, which was lovely, and I got a card and cupcakes from the billing department. In the afternoon I got flowers at work from my sister and my nephew. And Jerbs had the day off so she took me out for dinner. We went to Beaver Street Brewery and I got a brewer's platter (pretty much my favorite meal ever), and we got a free dessert sampler because it was my birthday. (They let you pick between a free shot of your choice or a free dessert).
So all in all an awesome day and just SO MUCH BETTER than last year when I was sitting in my car in the Michael's parking lot with the dogs because I was afraid to be home alone.
Here's to my 31st year! I am determined to make it a good one.
2.05.2016
Lots of Good News From Work
So this week was one where things just kept going my way at work. In particular, two really exciting things happened.
First of all, the issue of my raise got resolved. We got our pay stubs emailed to us this past Tuesday, and when I looked at mine, I noticed that my raise wasn't on there. So I emailed our financial controller and let her know, and she in turn told me that she hadn't known about my raise because, apparently, our HR person (who is one of my former billing co-workers) didn't get the paperwork to her. Which was irritating, but not a super big deal. My boss sent the paperwork to her and a little while later, the financial controller called me to her office. And she basically told me that the raise my boss gave me in my eval was inadequate, and that my boss was only allowed to give me a specific percentage raise. So it's now corrected, and my new pay rate is exactly in the range that I was expecting when I went into my eval. I was so excited to get the raise I deserved, I've put in the work and time and now I feel like something came of it.
Then yesterday, the billing department had a meeting (we're going through some pretty significant changes personnel wise right now, so we were meeting to talk about all that). As we were walking in, our practice manager said to me something like, "So, I hear you're going to be moving this year?" So I told her that yes, I was planning to move out of state in September. I was really apprehensive saying it because I wasn't sure how she was going to react, but I was super pleasantly surprised when her reaction was, "Are you interested in remoting?" I was like HELL YES!!!
This means that if the hospital deal goes through, I get to keep my job and work from home as a full time coder after I move. I am so unbelievably happy about this. Being able to keep my job would be amazing, because I wouldn't have to job hunt from a different state, I wouldn't have to start over somewhere PTO wise, I wouldn't have to leave a company I genuinely love . . . AND to be able to work from home is basically my dream. It also means that I won't have to pay back anything for my coding class since I won't be quitting, which is freaking awesome! And the icing on the cake is that the practice manager brought it up. The thought that I might be able to keep my job if the merge happened had crossed my mind before, but I figured I'd really have to fight for it and negotiate it, so to have it pretty much just handed to me is like . . . perfect.
Obviously the caveat is that if the hospital deal doesn't go through, a second coder isn't really going to be necessary, so if that happens I don't get to keep my job. So at this point, I'm just crossing my fingers and hoping and praying and wishing that the hospital deal goes through. I should know by April so . . . here's hoping!
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