Well, long time no see Life and Times of Ica.
I remember when I was first blogging, I'd find other blogs that hadn't been updated in years, and the last entry would be just a normal one, and I'd wonder what happened that made the writer just stop. And now . . . here I am 2+ years since I posted and the answer is that LIFE happens. Honestly, it hasn't been anything crazy exciting, just life. Some bad, some good, some amazing, some awful. Way way way too much to put into just one blog post. Probably way way way too much to blog about, period, but I think I'm going to try. I actually do miss this little space, and I started it back when what I was documenting was 90% misery. There are definitely some good times on here too, but I think there should be more of them now that I'm, y'know, happy.
So briefly . . .
The good/amazing:
--we are still in WA and we still love it
--I'm still working for MHC and loving working from home; Jerbs works in medical billing too now and she loves her job
--we still have Max and Hollie and Irene and Ilya, and they're all healthy and happy
--we have a new cat named Nikolai, and 2 rats named Juniper and Delilah
--I joined a gym that I really really love
--I'm subbing in multiple handbell choirs
--I actually have a love life! (or . . . really a sex life, I guess, and I love it)
--I think I've finally gotten to the very root of my mental health issues and I'm finally on a med regimen that is WORKING
--over the past couple of years Jerbs and I have seen Game Grumps Live, NSP live, the Mountain Goats, Alton Brown, Neil Gaiman, TSO, Maroon 5 . . . and we're seeing the Mountain Goats and Morrissey in September
--the Goldwomen bought a HOUSE earlier this year! (I have yet to visit them and see it, but I'm going to someday!)
--the Flicks had another baby and she's AMAZING, and their first baby is now a toddler who is also AMAZING . . . I legit love those kids and their parents; they also bought a new house since I last blogged and it's super cute
--Jerbs' cousin had a baby and he's 2 now, and he's adorable, and hilariously fearless
--Austy is TEN and started 5th grade the other day, and I'm blown away both by the little person he's become and by how it seems like just yesterday that he was a tiny baby; he's smart and funny and an amazing baseball player and I just love him
-Austy is also a BIG BROTHER now! my sister had a baby girl in January, her name is Logan, her birthday is close to mine and Jillian's, and she's literally the cutest baby I've ever seen
--related--my sister is married! she met this awesome guy in 2017, they fell in love, got engaged at a Dbacks game, had a baby, and had a mini wedding in April . . . their real big wedding is next April (on their 1st anniversary) and I'm so excited! I'm so genuinely, over the moon happy for my sister
--my new brother in law has 5 kids from a previous marriage, so I have 4 step nephews and a step niece . . . I've mt two of the nephews and they're awesome, and my step niece is just adorable and I love her
The bad/awful:
--I went through a pretty awful bout mental health wise for awhile
--Jerbs' mom passed away last year
--around the same time, a friend/sorority sister from college passed away while giving childbirth
--literally everything about the Trump administration . . . thank God next year is an election year, hopefully it'll be the end of this utter bullshit nightmare
I think that's about it. Life is pretty good at the moment, minus constantly missing Jane. Hopefully sometime soon I can write more in detail.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with this lovely picture of our neck of the woods--Capitol Lake and the capitol building in Oly.
8.02.2019
3.20.2017
2016 Year In Review
It's mid-March and I haven't posted a word to this space in 2017. So I figured I'd start with my annual year in review entry, even though it's 2.5 months overdue.
January
Since this was more than a year ago I'm struggling a little to remember. I know it was cold AF in Flagstaff and I know we got at least one MHC snow day, which was AWESOME. In January I also finally bit the bullet and bought plane tickets to Seattle! This month Jerbs and I started talking seriously about moving to the PNW. Also, the X Files returned for a little mini run of new episodes, which I was suuuuuper excited for, and which was ultimately very disappointing. I remember that Jenny got sick in January and got her first ever prescription medication, so . . . I guess that was a milestone for her. I also had a good review at work this month, even though I didn't get the raise I wanted.
February
I turned 31! My 31st birthday was pretty freaking great. I got to spend it with Jerbs and felt very loved by my family, friends, and co-workers, which is always nice. Plus I ate a Brewer's Platter, and any day that involves that is a good day. At work, I got a better raise and, as the hospital deal talk ramped up, I found that I would potentially get to keep my job when I moved. That was seriously one of the best things to happen to me last year, and I feel so fortunate to have MHC in my life. It was a leap year so we had a February 29th and sadly, I didn't have any yellow and blue clothing that fit to wear in honor of the day.
March
In March, the hospital board voted to officially go through with the deal with MHC, and I can't even describe the weight lifted off my shoulders when I really knew I wouldn't have to find a new job in WA. This month we celebrated Max and Hollie's adoption anniversaries--3 years and 2 years, respectively. My car hit 100,000 miles and we discovered Brandy's for brunch. I honestly don't remember much else happening that month . . . probably lots of just planning for the move and bitching about our next door neighbor. I do remember that at the end of the month, one of my former MHC co-workers, who's still very much a part of the MHC family, suffered a very terrible family loss that absolutely broke my heart.
April
Based on scrolling through my Facebook and the pictures on my phone, April was a pretty uneventful month. I worked out once or twice and took pictures of my pets and worked my two jobs. We had nice weather in Flagstaff though!
May
In May the hospital merge became official, and my work family grew a whoooole lot right at the beginning of the month. It was stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, and AMAZING. I am so unbelievably proud of my work family. Also in May I found out that my sorority chapter's charter at NAU was being pulled, effectively ending the existence of TBS at NAU. Theresa came to town and we went to an outgoing sisterhood ceremony, which was really a lovely experience that I'm grateful for. Also in May, Jerbs and I went to see Alton Brown's live show, which was really weird and random but also really, really awesome! (So awesome that we're going to see it again next week in Portland, ha). And of course, the big event in May was our trip to Seattle, which was both fun and terrible, because while Seattle was and is awesome, I was so effing sick the entire time. However, even though I wish I'd been well enough to enjoy it, I'm really glad we went.
June
The first thing I remember about June is the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando. I can't even begin to put into words the horror and heartbreak I felt seeing the news about that break. It is such a terrible, sickening thing, and that it was even possible for it to happen just . . . I don't know. I lost a lot of faith in humanity that day and I'd be lying if I said I was fine now. But the night after the shooting was the Tony awards, and the show of compassion and honoring the victims there was very moving. I also discovered Hamilton, the musical, and seriously listened to nothing else for the next 2 months.
July
July was a fun month. Jerbs and I spent a quiet Independence Day at home and watched the fireworks from our porch, as usual; it felt a little reflective because it was our last one in Flagstaff, and I thought about that a lot. Also in July, a bunch of TBS alumni came to town for a sisterhood ceremony/camp out deal, which meant I got to see Theresa and Jenna, plus some other sisters I hadn't seen for years. It was amazing to see everyone, and even though it was sad that it was because of the charter being pulled, I'm so, so, so glad it happened. I will be the first to admit that I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people, so on the rare occasion I get to be social with old friends, it's wonderful. The weekend after the campout I went to Vegas with Theresa and her in laws and had a freaking BLAST. I seriously have such a great time with them, hands down one of the best weekends of the whole year. While we were there, one of Theresa and Jenna's good friends from SLC (who I met at their wedding and became fast friends with) was randomly there too, so we got to meet up and hang out with him. It was awesome and well worth the long drive.
August
We packed and moved stuff to storage and I realized that nothing was going to happen as planned with the move and more or less flipped out. My dad and Jillian came to visit as well, so that was nice. I had my last day at SHF. What I'll always remember most about August of 2016, though, was that a deep, horrible, and completely unexpected tragedy hit my MHC family right at its core. I cried for days while I tried to get things together for the move, I broke down to my mom over the phone, I leaned on my co-workers and let them lean on me. I still don't feel fully recovered from what happened. MHC still doesn't either. It's one of those things that causes an irreversible change: we're flourishing as a clinic but we'll never, ever be quite the same as we were before this happened. I will never forget parking my car, thinking about nothing other than how happy I was it was Friday and how my dad and sister would be there that afternoon, then being met before I even went inside by a co-worker so I could be given the bad news before I saw anybody else. Walking through the halls to my office that day, my co-workers just looked like how I felt: drained, shocked, pale. It was truly a haunting experience. For reasons, I'm not going into more detail than that. On the last day of August we moved out of our apartment. On the day we were moving out, Theresa called to let me know that something had happened and TBS' charter pull was not happening after all, and basically our sorority gets to continue existing as if nothing ever happened. I honestly still don't know exactly what went down, I know there was some kind of drama with the DOB and ADOB, but that's the extent of it. Still, I'm happy to know that Alpha Chi gets to go on.
September
This is the month Jerbs and I moved to Washington. I still don't want to talk about what a terrible experience that was so I'm not going to. Other than moving into our apartment, this was the month I started working from home, which is super weird but also really nice. Jerbs mostly job hunted this month, so I got to explore our new city by driving her to interviews and then finding nearby coffee places with free WiFi where I could work from my laptop. Oh, I bought a new laptop this month, which was very exciting! Also this month, Jerbs found out that her cousin (who she grew up with and is more like a sibling) was pregnant. The weather was crazy nice here so we did a little bit of outdoor exploring around town, mostly just walking the dogs at parks and stuff.
October
Jerbs found a job this month, which was a huge relief to us both! (Long, long story as to why she didn't have a job before we got here, but that's part of the whole moving related trauma so I'm not going to write about it). She's working in medical billing (woohoo!) doing basically what I used to do at MHC. I'm really proud of her, and she seemed to really like her job/co-workers right off the bat. One of our best friends from college had a beautiful baby girl last October, and we were both super thrilled about that! We're both SO excited to eventually meet her. This month we went to Portland to see Game Grumps Live, and that was AWESOME! We had SO much fun at the show! That same weekend we had a huge storm, so downtown Portland was basically a river (we most definitely walked through water that went over the top of my boots at one point . . . Jerbs was wearing cons so she was pretty unhappy). Regardless of how wet we got, it was totally worth it, and I've been a Grumps fan ever since.
November
What I remember most about November is the fucking election. Needless to say I was disappointed in the results, and I've been steadily more disappointed in what's going on. My sweet little nephew turned 8, which makes me feel suuuuper old. I experienced having to change the clocks for Daylight Savings Time for the first time, which was trippy. The first day after the change, it was so dark at 5 PM when I went to pick up Jerbs at work that I actually had to turn on my headlights, so that was weird. Jerbs and I spent Thanksgiving at home and this year we actually cooked our own turkey and sides instead of buying the precooked ones, I was proud of us and our dinner turned out really well! The best part of this Thanksgiving was that since Jerbs is now in a medical field that isn't urgent care, she had the same days off as me (Thurs., Fri., Sat., and Sun.) so we got a long weekend together. This month, after Thanksgiving, I pretty much stopped eating fast food and started cooking for myself!
December
We went to Jerbs' work Christmas party, which was fun. It was at a nice restaurant on a golf course and the food was really good. Jerbs got us an electric griddle through this little silent auction they do so that was cool, we've used it quite a bit since then. It is seriously GIGANTIC though, so it's hard to store. This month I cooked a lot and got more used to that. I also made us new Christmas stockings and a garland and stuff, our place looked super cute for the holidays. The worst part of this month was that we didn't get to go home for Christmas. I was really sad about that, because I've only ever spent one Christmas away from my family (when I was engaged and we spent Christmas with his family), and it was hard. So I know that I need to plan better for 2017 so I can be home for Christmas. We went to Seattle on Christmas Eve for Jerb's birthday; we went to Pike's market and a Harry Potter themed gingerbread house exhibit at a hotel in downtown Seattle (apparently the gingerbread houses are an annual thing, and there's a different theme each year, so we'll be going again in 2017). Then on Christmas day we made ham and stuff, and exchanged a few gifts, and mostly it was just another day. For NYE, we went to a ramen place in downtown Olympia that was really tasty, then came home and just watched a movie. It was very low key and uneventful.
And that's it. All in all . . . not really the best year, mostly a mediocre one with some shining moments. I'm hoping 2017 is leaps and bounds better, and I'm hoping to blog more going forward. I used to love this little space so much, and now it's so neglected!
January
Since this was more than a year ago I'm struggling a little to remember. I know it was cold AF in Flagstaff and I know we got at least one MHC snow day, which was AWESOME. In January I also finally bit the bullet and bought plane tickets to Seattle! This month Jerbs and I started talking seriously about moving to the PNW. Also, the X Files returned for a little mini run of new episodes, which I was suuuuuper excited for, and which was ultimately very disappointing. I remember that Jenny got sick in January and got her first ever prescription medication, so . . . I guess that was a milestone for her. I also had a good review at work this month, even though I didn't get the raise I wanted.
February
I turned 31! My 31st birthday was pretty freaking great. I got to spend it with Jerbs and felt very loved by my family, friends, and co-workers, which is always nice. Plus I ate a Brewer's Platter, and any day that involves that is a good day. At work, I got a better raise and, as the hospital deal talk ramped up, I found that I would potentially get to keep my job when I moved. That was seriously one of the best things to happen to me last year, and I feel so fortunate to have MHC in my life. It was a leap year so we had a February 29th and sadly, I didn't have any yellow and blue clothing that fit to wear in honor of the day.
March
In March, the hospital board voted to officially go through with the deal with MHC, and I can't even describe the weight lifted off my shoulders when I really knew I wouldn't have to find a new job in WA. This month we celebrated Max and Hollie's adoption anniversaries--3 years and 2 years, respectively. My car hit 100,000 miles and we discovered Brandy's for brunch. I honestly don't remember much else happening that month . . . probably lots of just planning for the move and bitching about our next door neighbor. I do remember that at the end of the month, one of my former MHC co-workers, who's still very much a part of the MHC family, suffered a very terrible family loss that absolutely broke my heart.
April
Based on scrolling through my Facebook and the pictures on my phone, April was a pretty uneventful month. I worked out once or twice and took pictures of my pets and worked my two jobs. We had nice weather in Flagstaff though!
May
In May the hospital merge became official, and my work family grew a whoooole lot right at the beginning of the month. It was stressful, overwhelming, exhausting, and AMAZING. I am so unbelievably proud of my work family. Also in May I found out that my sorority chapter's charter at NAU was being pulled, effectively ending the existence of TBS at NAU. Theresa came to town and we went to an outgoing sisterhood ceremony, which was really a lovely experience that I'm grateful for. Also in May, Jerbs and I went to see Alton Brown's live show, which was really weird and random but also really, really awesome! (So awesome that we're going to see it again next week in Portland, ha). And of course, the big event in May was our trip to Seattle, which was both fun and terrible, because while Seattle was and is awesome, I was so effing sick the entire time. However, even though I wish I'd been well enough to enjoy it, I'm really glad we went.
June
The first thing I remember about June is the Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando. I can't even begin to put into words the horror and heartbreak I felt seeing the news about that break. It is such a terrible, sickening thing, and that it was even possible for it to happen just . . . I don't know. I lost a lot of faith in humanity that day and I'd be lying if I said I was fine now. But the night after the shooting was the Tony awards, and the show of compassion and honoring the victims there was very moving. I also discovered Hamilton, the musical, and seriously listened to nothing else for the next 2 months.
July
July was a fun month. Jerbs and I spent a quiet Independence Day at home and watched the fireworks from our porch, as usual; it felt a little reflective because it was our last one in Flagstaff, and I thought about that a lot. Also in July, a bunch of TBS alumni came to town for a sisterhood ceremony/camp out deal, which meant I got to see Theresa and Jenna, plus some other sisters I hadn't seen for years. It was amazing to see everyone, and even though it was sad that it was because of the charter being pulled, I'm so, so, so glad it happened. I will be the first to admit that I'm terrible at keeping in touch with people, so on the rare occasion I get to be social with old friends, it's wonderful. The weekend after the campout I went to Vegas with Theresa and her in laws and had a freaking BLAST. I seriously have such a great time with them, hands down one of the best weekends of the whole year. While we were there, one of Theresa and Jenna's good friends from SLC (who I met at their wedding and became fast friends with) was randomly there too, so we got to meet up and hang out with him. It was awesome and well worth the long drive.
August
We packed and moved stuff to storage and I realized that nothing was going to happen as planned with the move and more or less flipped out. My dad and Jillian came to visit as well, so that was nice. I had my last day at SHF. What I'll always remember most about August of 2016, though, was that a deep, horrible, and completely unexpected tragedy hit my MHC family right at its core. I cried for days while I tried to get things together for the move, I broke down to my mom over the phone, I leaned on my co-workers and let them lean on me. I still don't feel fully recovered from what happened. MHC still doesn't either. It's one of those things that causes an irreversible change: we're flourishing as a clinic but we'll never, ever be quite the same as we were before this happened. I will never forget parking my car, thinking about nothing other than how happy I was it was Friday and how my dad and sister would be there that afternoon, then being met before I even went inside by a co-worker so I could be given the bad news before I saw anybody else. Walking through the halls to my office that day, my co-workers just looked like how I felt: drained, shocked, pale. It was truly a haunting experience. For reasons, I'm not going into more detail than that. On the last day of August we moved out of our apartment. On the day we were moving out, Theresa called to let me know that something had happened and TBS' charter pull was not happening after all, and basically our sorority gets to continue existing as if nothing ever happened. I honestly still don't know exactly what went down, I know there was some kind of drama with the DOB and ADOB, but that's the extent of it. Still, I'm happy to know that Alpha Chi gets to go on.
September
This is the month Jerbs and I moved to Washington. I still don't want to talk about what a terrible experience that was so I'm not going to. Other than moving into our apartment, this was the month I started working from home, which is super weird but also really nice. Jerbs mostly job hunted this month, so I got to explore our new city by driving her to interviews and then finding nearby coffee places with free WiFi where I could work from my laptop. Oh, I bought a new laptop this month, which was very exciting! Also this month, Jerbs found out that her cousin (who she grew up with and is more like a sibling) was pregnant. The weather was crazy nice here so we did a little bit of outdoor exploring around town, mostly just walking the dogs at parks and stuff.
October
Jerbs found a job this month, which was a huge relief to us both! (Long, long story as to why she didn't have a job before we got here, but that's part of the whole moving related trauma so I'm not going to write about it). She's working in medical billing (woohoo!) doing basically what I used to do at MHC. I'm really proud of her, and she seemed to really like her job/co-workers right off the bat. One of our best friends from college had a beautiful baby girl last October, and we were both super thrilled about that! We're both SO excited to eventually meet her. This month we went to Portland to see Game Grumps Live, and that was AWESOME! We had SO much fun at the show! That same weekend we had a huge storm, so downtown Portland was basically a river (we most definitely walked through water that went over the top of my boots at one point . . . Jerbs was wearing cons so she was pretty unhappy). Regardless of how wet we got, it was totally worth it, and I've been a Grumps fan ever since.
November
What I remember most about November is the fucking election. Needless to say I was disappointed in the results, and I've been steadily more disappointed in what's going on. My sweet little nephew turned 8, which makes me feel suuuuper old. I experienced having to change the clocks for Daylight Savings Time for the first time, which was trippy. The first day after the change, it was so dark at 5 PM when I went to pick up Jerbs at work that I actually had to turn on my headlights, so that was weird. Jerbs and I spent Thanksgiving at home and this year we actually cooked our own turkey and sides instead of buying the precooked ones, I was proud of us and our dinner turned out really well! The best part of this Thanksgiving was that since Jerbs is now in a medical field that isn't urgent care, she had the same days off as me (Thurs., Fri., Sat., and Sun.) so we got a long weekend together. This month, after Thanksgiving, I pretty much stopped eating fast food and started cooking for myself!
December
We went to Jerbs' work Christmas party, which was fun. It was at a nice restaurant on a golf course and the food was really good. Jerbs got us an electric griddle through this little silent auction they do so that was cool, we've used it quite a bit since then. It is seriously GIGANTIC though, so it's hard to store. This month I cooked a lot and got more used to that. I also made us new Christmas stockings and a garland and stuff, our place looked super cute for the holidays. The worst part of this month was that we didn't get to go home for Christmas. I was really sad about that, because I've only ever spent one Christmas away from my family (when I was engaged and we spent Christmas with his family), and it was hard. So I know that I need to plan better for 2017 so I can be home for Christmas. We went to Seattle on Christmas Eve for Jerb's birthday; we went to Pike's market and a Harry Potter themed gingerbread house exhibit at a hotel in downtown Seattle (apparently the gingerbread houses are an annual thing, and there's a different theme each year, so we'll be going again in 2017). Then on Christmas day we made ham and stuff, and exchanged a few gifts, and mostly it was just another day. For NYE, we went to a ramen place in downtown Olympia that was really tasty, then came home and just watched a movie. It was very low key and uneventful.
And that's it. All in all . . . not really the best year, mostly a mediocre one with some shining moments. I'm hoping 2017 is leaps and bounds better, and I'm hoping to blog more going forward. I used to love this little space so much, and now it's so neglected!
11.08.2016
A General Update
First and foremost: Jerbs and I moved to Washington.
It was actually a horrible experience. Like, a legitimately traumatizing experience. Probably the worst days of my entire life (with the exception of when I was super sick with the bipolar disorder). It was all so shitty that I honestly don't even want to write about it in detail because I have zero desire to relive any of it.
That being said, I like living in WA. I love all the rain and the fall color and our apartment's nice and our neighborhood's nice and Jerbs loves her new job. I'm still trying to decide how I feel about working from home but for the most part it's not bad.
I've really been in just kind of a funk for awhile now. Kind of down, kind of out of it, kind of just disengaged and moving through life without really touching anything. I work in my laptop from my bed all day, then I go get Jerbs from work and we usually run errands or eat or whatever, then we come home and I lay in bed and watch stuff on YouTube or Netflix until it's time for bed, at which point I go to sleep in my bed. So basically I spend most of my time in bed. My room is a total mess and 80% of our stuff is still in boxes but I absolutely can't find the energy or motivation to get up and actually unpack and settle in. I'm assuming that's because of how bad everything went, I don't want to really engage with living here.
It's starting to worry me because I do want to live my life.
Honestly, if God or the universe or whatever came to me right now and gave me the option of just having stayed in Flagstaff, I'd probably take it.
And based on how the election results are looking right now my depression's about to get a whole fucking lot worse, so yay.
It was actually a horrible experience. Like, a legitimately traumatizing experience. Probably the worst days of my entire life (with the exception of when I was super sick with the bipolar disorder). It was all so shitty that I honestly don't even want to write about it in detail because I have zero desire to relive any of it.
That being said, I like living in WA. I love all the rain and the fall color and our apartment's nice and our neighborhood's nice and Jerbs loves her new job. I'm still trying to decide how I feel about working from home but for the most part it's not bad.
I've really been in just kind of a funk for awhile now. Kind of down, kind of out of it, kind of just disengaged and moving through life without really touching anything. I work in my laptop from my bed all day, then I go get Jerbs from work and we usually run errands or eat or whatever, then we come home and I lay in bed and watch stuff on YouTube or Netflix until it's time for bed, at which point I go to sleep in my bed. So basically I spend most of my time in bed. My room is a total mess and 80% of our stuff is still in boxes but I absolutely can't find the energy or motivation to get up and actually unpack and settle in. I'm assuming that's because of how bad everything went, I don't want to really engage with living here.
It's starting to worry me because I do want to live my life.
Honestly, if God or the universe or whatever came to me right now and gave me the option of just having stayed in Flagstaff, I'd probably take it.
And based on how the election results are looking right now my depression's about to get a whole fucking lot worse, so yay.
8.04.2016
Twenty Eight Days
Today the countdown on my phone says 28 days until we move. That's only 4 weeks and holy shit, that's insane.
I'm starting to hit my panic mode. I don't know why exactly but I'm just starting to stress big time about all of this. I feel like not enough's done, like I'm not ready, like I'm not really engaging and this is all just kind of happening too fast. Which is stupid, because I've known this was coming for a really, really long time. But seriously, I feel like we got back from our trip, and at that point we had 3 months until the move and that was plenty of time, and then I blinked and now it's August and we're down to 4 weeks to get everything ready to go. It's unreal.
I'm telling myself that it'll be OK. Everything's going to work out however it's supposed to and in the meantime all I can do is keep packing and preparing as much as I can.
But I'll be very glad when all this is over and we're moved and settled.
I'm starting to hit my panic mode. I don't know why exactly but I'm just starting to stress big time about all of this. I feel like not enough's done, like I'm not ready, like I'm not really engaging and this is all just kind of happening too fast. Which is stupid, because I've known this was coming for a really, really long time. But seriously, I feel like we got back from our trip, and at that point we had 3 months until the move and that was plenty of time, and then I blinked and now it's August and we're down to 4 weeks to get everything ready to go. It's unreal.
I'm telling myself that it'll be OK. Everything's going to work out however it's supposed to and in the meantime all I can do is keep packing and preparing as much as I can.
But I'll be very glad when all this is over and we're moved and settled.
6.04.2016
Seattle
I was so looking forward to writing this post. For a long time I'd imagined coming back from my trip and writing a blog post about how insanely awesome Seattle was and what a fantastic time I'd had there, and unfortunately, that's not the post I'm going to write.
It has nothing to do with Seattle. I actually really loved Seattle, and I definitely felt a deep soul kind of connection to the PNW. I definitely still want to move there.
But. I got sick right before we left, and spent my entire vacation just getting sicker. I felt like total shit most of the time we were there; there was one day where I felt mostly OK. So yeah. Definitely not the trip I'd imagined and definitely not how I wanted my first impression of Seattle to be, and I'm still pretty effing disappointed. But what can you do, right?
We left on a Tuesday. The Sunday before that Tuesday, I woke up with a really, really sore throat. Ever the optimist, I told myself it was nothing and that I'd just slept with my mouth open and/or too close to my fan or something like that. But I was really tired all day too. The next morning (the day before we left) I had a sore throat, ear pain, chest congestion, and a runny nose. Lovely.
I definitely wasn't going to skip the trip, though, so we got up at the butt crack of dawn on Tuesday and made our way to Las Vegas. We stopped in Kingman and dropped the dogs off with my mom and sister, they were thrilled to be there! They seriously love my mom, I think they'd live with her if they could. We also stopped in to see Jerbs' parents, they are very not happy about this move, but that's for another post.
We got to the airport a little behind schedule, but then checking our bags and getting through security went waaaaay faster than we'd expected. We had time to chill at the airport and eat breakfast and that was actually really nice. I bought cough drops at the airport too, because my throat was killing me. Our flight left on time, I let Jerbs have the window seat for the trip and I was in the middle of the row. The guy next to me took off his shoes which was disgusting, but other than that it was a good flight. It was Jerbs' first ever flight and she did great with it! I was proud of her. The only bad part of the flight (other than the barefoot guy) was how my ears felt when we landed. They already hurt since I was sick, so the popping as we descended felt absolutely awful, I legit almost cried. And to top it off, my left ear never unpopped, I couldn't hear out of it until Saturday. That was awesome.
But we made it to Seattle. I teared up when we were off the plane, because I was just so overwhelmed that we were FINALLY there. This was a trip that had been put off and postponed so many times because of all the bullshit that went on in my life, and I just felt so good to have overcome that. As soon as we were off the plane, even when we were inside the airport, we could just feel water in the air. That was nice. We got our rental car and drove to our hotel, which ended up being not nearly as nice as expected, so that was disappointing. It was definitely NOT worth what I paid for it. And since I was sick I was even grumpier about it than I would have been. We had dinner at a restaurant next to the hotel, then found a Rite Aid not far from where we were staying so I could buy cold medicine and Vicks. After we got back to the hotel Jerbs fell asleep and I watched the finale of DWTS (because even vacation couldn't stop me from watching Nyle win! I called that shit from night one!). I didn't sleep well that night.
On Wednesday we did touristy stuff. We went to the Space Needle, which I actually thought was really cool. Maybe because it is such a touristy place, I was expecting it to be a little underwhelming, but it was awesome. The views are just incredible, and I had the best Italian soda ever at the little cafe at the observation deck. My purse broke while we were there, though, which, combined with being sick, made me think maybe Seattle just didn't want me in it. I am not exactly rational when sick and away from home. I definitely want to go to the Space Needle again, and this time I want to do it at night. After the Space Needle we had lunch at a pizza/biscuit place in downtown Seattle, and it was delicious but overpriced. Then we made our way to Pike's Place Market, which is about when I started to just . . . fade. I felt so sick and yucky. But we explored the market, and I got this amazing hazelnut pastry at a place called Piroshky Piroshky. Seriously one of the best things I've ever eaten, it was incredible. There was also one of those living statue guys and he tried to grab me as I passed him, and I was so out of it I didn't react. He was disappointed haha. I think at this point I was running a fever and I was exhausted, so Jerbs and I walked to a Target on the next block and I bought Nyquil so I could sleep. That night I took Nyquil as soon as we got to the hotel (or maybe when we got in the car to leave Pike's, I don't remember) and just PTFO'd. It was glorious.
The next day, Thursday, we drove to Tacoma, ostensibly to look at some apartments. Right off the bat, Tacoma didn't give us a great vibe. Not necessarily a bad vibe but . . . I don't know, it didn't feel very homey. It didn't feel like somewhere we could live. We stopped for lunch at a restaurant we'd heard about before our trip, called Pacific South. I'd been looking forward to their biscuits and gravy, and then the gravy just tasted like onions, so that wasn't great. Then we went to one of the complexes we'd liked there, and the woman in the leasing office was extremely rude to us and impatient with us, and that was kind of the last straw for Tacoma. I'm sure it's a lovely place but after that, I kind of said to Jerbs that I wasn't really feeling it. She agreed. We'd planned to spend the whole day there, exploring and getting a feel for the town, but I really wanted to see Olympia. So we drove to Olympia. We explored a little park on the waterfront there and then just drove around, looking at the city. And we really liked it, and we really thought it seemed like somewhere we could live. We went back to Seattle and went to Ikea, because we were right near it and I love Ikea and we want to get new furniture when we move. Also I love those meatballs. Then we went to a sushi place, because Jerbs wanted sushi. She liked the place we tried, I just got stir fry and it wasn't bad. Then we went back to our hotel. I think this was the night that I had a minor freak out about being sick and decided I wanted to go home. I just like to be home when I'm sick, and I wanted to be in my own bed with my dogs, so I definitely had an I don't care how much it costs I am leaving right now moment. Jerbs talked me down. The Nyquil helped.
The next day, Friday, we went to Olympia. Olympia is 65 miles south of Seattle, but it took 3 hours to get there. The highway was just packed, presumably with people heading out of town for the long weekend. Finally got to Olympia, went to the complex we really liked, and actually met the manager and everything. She was great. The complex was full so she wasn't able to show us an actual apartment, but we saw the clubhouse, and she said it's pretty much the same flooring/appliances/cabinetry as the apartments, so we have a good idea of what it feels like. We really liked this place, and it's very reasonably priced, so it's our first choice. Since we got there so late that was the only place we got to go to, but we did have dinner at this pizza place called Vic's and it was amazing. While we were there, after we'd ordered, this couple came in with their daughter. They approached us and said they'd never been there and asked how to order, and I think being mistaken as a local is a good sign we can live in Olympia!
On Saturday, I actually felt OK enough to do something. We started with brunch at this place called the Wandering Goose, seriously incredible biscuits and gravy. They're known for their biscuits, and for good reason. Then we went back to Pike's. It was much more crowded on a Saturday than Wednesday (not surprising) but I was happy to be there without being miserable. Jerbs wanted a Piroshky, and the line was super long, so while she waited I went to a little souvenir kind of shop and got stuff for my family. (I pretty much got everyone mugs, I got Jillian a bag, and I got Austin and my dad Seattle shirts. I also got Dad a can coozy with the skyline on it, and I got Austin a Seahawks pennant). After we wandered some more, we went to the pier and took the ferry to Bainbridge Island. That was actually my favorite part of the trip, it was so much fun to be out on the water. It was cold and cloudy and windy but Jerbs and I sat on the deck the whole time. On the island, we went for a walk on the Waterfront Trail, which was beautiful, and then we explored the downtown area. We got pastries at a bakery and then ice cream at this awesome little ice cream store, it was so tasty. Then we took the ferry back to Seattle, and the view of the city skyline under the grey sky as you're approaching it was just unbelievable. One of the prettiest things I've ever seen. I was so happy. After the ferry we had dinner at a Mexican place in Renton, because I wanted to try at least one Mexican restaurant while we were there. It was delicious. Then it was back to the hotel to pack.
On Sunday we headed for the airport. We had a mild moment of panic because since the airline we were flying on was so new to the area, they did not have a dedicated customer service counter. So we had no idea where to go to check our bags. That was a really shitty feeling but we did eventually figure it out and got our bags checked and all that. Security was pretty quick too, which was nice, and then we found a Sbarro's right near our gate, so we had pizza for lunch. (The Sbarro's in Flag closed quite awhile ago and we--especially Jerbs--miss it). Then we flew home, and I got the window seat, but luckily for Jerbs, the person on the aisle was much better than the guy on our first flight. She was a nice lady and she'd brought a coloring book, so definitely our kind of people! This flight was a little less smooth, I had fallen asleep and we hit turbulence bad enough to wake me up and make us have to put our seat belts back on. The lady next to us was fascinated by the desert, she was talking about how she hadn't been to Vegas since she was 21 and eloped there, and we were telling her about living in AZ. She really was lovely.
We got off the plane, got our bags, got the car (and paid the outrageous fee for parking at the airport for 5 days), and headed home. We stopped in Kingman and picked up the dogs, then went to my dad's and then to Jerbs' parents. (And OMG her parents were just terrible about the whole thing, her mom was going on and on about how she just can't see us living in Washington and do we know the cost of utilities and groceries and it was just ridiculous). Eventually we got back to Flagstaff, Hollie was very happy to be home and the cats were happy to see us. It felt so nice to sleep in my own bed!
So that's that, our trip to Seattle. Like I said, not the trip I'd been dreaming of but still fun. And really, not long from now we'll live an hour away from Seattle and we'll be able to visit whenever we want, so I'm not too worried about all the stuff I didn't get to do on this trip!
It has nothing to do with Seattle. I actually really loved Seattle, and I definitely felt a deep soul kind of connection to the PNW. I definitely still want to move there.
But. I got sick right before we left, and spent my entire vacation just getting sicker. I felt like total shit most of the time we were there; there was one day where I felt mostly OK. So yeah. Definitely not the trip I'd imagined and definitely not how I wanted my first impression of Seattle to be, and I'm still pretty effing disappointed. But what can you do, right?
We left on a Tuesday. The Sunday before that Tuesday, I woke up with a really, really sore throat. Ever the optimist, I told myself it was nothing and that I'd just slept with my mouth open and/or too close to my fan or something like that. But I was really tired all day too. The next morning (the day before we left) I had a sore throat, ear pain, chest congestion, and a runny nose. Lovely.
I definitely wasn't going to skip the trip, though, so we got up at the butt crack of dawn on Tuesday and made our way to Las Vegas. We stopped in Kingman and dropped the dogs off with my mom and sister, they were thrilled to be there! They seriously love my mom, I think they'd live with her if they could. We also stopped in to see Jerbs' parents, they are very not happy about this move, but that's for another post.
We got to the airport a little behind schedule, but then checking our bags and getting through security went waaaaay faster than we'd expected. We had time to chill at the airport and eat breakfast and that was actually really nice. I bought cough drops at the airport too, because my throat was killing me. Our flight left on time, I let Jerbs have the window seat for the trip and I was in the middle of the row. The guy next to me took off his shoes which was disgusting, but other than that it was a good flight. It was Jerbs' first ever flight and she did great with it! I was proud of her. The only bad part of the flight (other than the barefoot guy) was how my ears felt when we landed. They already hurt since I was sick, so the popping as we descended felt absolutely awful, I legit almost cried. And to top it off, my left ear never unpopped, I couldn't hear out of it until Saturday. That was awesome.
But we made it to Seattle. I teared up when we were off the plane, because I was just so overwhelmed that we were FINALLY there. This was a trip that had been put off and postponed so many times because of all the bullshit that went on in my life, and I just felt so good to have overcome that. As soon as we were off the plane, even when we were inside the airport, we could just feel water in the air. That was nice. We got our rental car and drove to our hotel, which ended up being not nearly as nice as expected, so that was disappointing. It was definitely NOT worth what I paid for it. And since I was sick I was even grumpier about it than I would have been. We had dinner at a restaurant next to the hotel, then found a Rite Aid not far from where we were staying so I could buy cold medicine and Vicks. After we got back to the hotel Jerbs fell asleep and I watched the finale of DWTS (because even vacation couldn't stop me from watching Nyle win! I called that shit from night one!). I didn't sleep well that night.
On Wednesday we did touristy stuff. We went to the Space Needle, which I actually thought was really cool. Maybe because it is such a touristy place, I was expecting it to be a little underwhelming, but it was awesome. The views are just incredible, and I had the best Italian soda ever at the little cafe at the observation deck. My purse broke while we were there, though, which, combined with being sick, made me think maybe Seattle just didn't want me in it. I am not exactly rational when sick and away from home. I definitely want to go to the Space Needle again, and this time I want to do it at night. After the Space Needle we had lunch at a pizza/biscuit place in downtown Seattle, and it was delicious but overpriced. Then we made our way to Pike's Place Market, which is about when I started to just . . . fade. I felt so sick and yucky. But we explored the market, and I got this amazing hazelnut pastry at a place called Piroshky Piroshky. Seriously one of the best things I've ever eaten, it was incredible. There was also one of those living statue guys and he tried to grab me as I passed him, and I was so out of it I didn't react. He was disappointed haha. I think at this point I was running a fever and I was exhausted, so Jerbs and I walked to a Target on the next block and I bought Nyquil so I could sleep. That night I took Nyquil as soon as we got to the hotel (or maybe when we got in the car to leave Pike's, I don't remember) and just PTFO'd. It was glorious.
The next day, Thursday, we drove to Tacoma, ostensibly to look at some apartments. Right off the bat, Tacoma didn't give us a great vibe. Not necessarily a bad vibe but . . . I don't know, it didn't feel very homey. It didn't feel like somewhere we could live. We stopped for lunch at a restaurant we'd heard about before our trip, called Pacific South. I'd been looking forward to their biscuits and gravy, and then the gravy just tasted like onions, so that wasn't great. Then we went to one of the complexes we'd liked there, and the woman in the leasing office was extremely rude to us and impatient with us, and that was kind of the last straw for Tacoma. I'm sure it's a lovely place but after that, I kind of said to Jerbs that I wasn't really feeling it. She agreed. We'd planned to spend the whole day there, exploring and getting a feel for the town, but I really wanted to see Olympia. So we drove to Olympia. We explored a little park on the waterfront there and then just drove around, looking at the city. And we really liked it, and we really thought it seemed like somewhere we could live. We went back to Seattle and went to Ikea, because we were right near it and I love Ikea and we want to get new furniture when we move. Also I love those meatballs. Then we went to a sushi place, because Jerbs wanted sushi. She liked the place we tried, I just got stir fry and it wasn't bad. Then we went back to our hotel. I think this was the night that I had a minor freak out about being sick and decided I wanted to go home. I just like to be home when I'm sick, and I wanted to be in my own bed with my dogs, so I definitely had an I don't care how much it costs I am leaving right now moment. Jerbs talked me down. The Nyquil helped.
The next day, Friday, we went to Olympia. Olympia is 65 miles south of Seattle, but it took 3 hours to get there. The highway was just packed, presumably with people heading out of town for the long weekend. Finally got to Olympia, went to the complex we really liked, and actually met the manager and everything. She was great. The complex was full so she wasn't able to show us an actual apartment, but we saw the clubhouse, and she said it's pretty much the same flooring/appliances/cabinetry as the apartments, so we have a good idea of what it feels like. We really liked this place, and it's very reasonably priced, so it's our first choice. Since we got there so late that was the only place we got to go to, but we did have dinner at this pizza place called Vic's and it was amazing. While we were there, after we'd ordered, this couple came in with their daughter. They approached us and said they'd never been there and asked how to order, and I think being mistaken as a local is a good sign we can live in Olympia!
On Saturday, I actually felt OK enough to do something. We started with brunch at this place called the Wandering Goose, seriously incredible biscuits and gravy. They're known for their biscuits, and for good reason. Then we went back to Pike's. It was much more crowded on a Saturday than Wednesday (not surprising) but I was happy to be there without being miserable. Jerbs wanted a Piroshky, and the line was super long, so while she waited I went to a little souvenir kind of shop and got stuff for my family. (I pretty much got everyone mugs, I got Jillian a bag, and I got Austin and my dad Seattle shirts. I also got Dad a can coozy with the skyline on it, and I got Austin a Seahawks pennant). After we wandered some more, we went to the pier and took the ferry to Bainbridge Island. That was actually my favorite part of the trip, it was so much fun to be out on the water. It was cold and cloudy and windy but Jerbs and I sat on the deck the whole time. On the island, we went for a walk on the Waterfront Trail, which was beautiful, and then we explored the downtown area. We got pastries at a bakery and then ice cream at this awesome little ice cream store, it was so tasty. Then we took the ferry back to Seattle, and the view of the city skyline under the grey sky as you're approaching it was just unbelievable. One of the prettiest things I've ever seen. I was so happy. After the ferry we had dinner at a Mexican place in Renton, because I wanted to try at least one Mexican restaurant while we were there. It was delicious. Then it was back to the hotel to pack.
On Sunday we headed for the airport. We had a mild moment of panic because since the airline we were flying on was so new to the area, they did not have a dedicated customer service counter. So we had no idea where to go to check our bags. That was a really shitty feeling but we did eventually figure it out and got our bags checked and all that. Security was pretty quick too, which was nice, and then we found a Sbarro's right near our gate, so we had pizza for lunch. (The Sbarro's in Flag closed quite awhile ago and we--especially Jerbs--miss it). Then we flew home, and I got the window seat, but luckily for Jerbs, the person on the aisle was much better than the guy on our first flight. She was a nice lady and she'd brought a coloring book, so definitely our kind of people! This flight was a little less smooth, I had fallen asleep and we hit turbulence bad enough to wake me up and make us have to put our seat belts back on. The lady next to us was fascinated by the desert, she was talking about how she hadn't been to Vegas since she was 21 and eloped there, and we were telling her about living in AZ. She really was lovely.
We got off the plane, got our bags, got the car (and paid the outrageous fee for parking at the airport for 5 days), and headed home. We stopped in Kingman and picked up the dogs, then went to my dad's and then to Jerbs' parents. (And OMG her parents were just terrible about the whole thing, her mom was going on and on about how she just can't see us living in Washington and do we know the cost of utilities and groceries and it was just ridiculous). Eventually we got back to Flagstaff, Hollie was very happy to be home and the cats were happy to see us. It felt so nice to sleep in my own bed!
So that's that, our trip to Seattle. Like I said, not the trip I'd been dreaming of but still fun. And really, not long from now we'll live an hour away from Seattle and we'll be able to visit whenever we want, so I'm not too worried about all the stuff I didn't get to do on this trip!
5.21.2016
Three Days!!
Three days until we fly to Seattle!!
I'm so excited and feeling so overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to do. Because as usual I vowed that I would be super on top of things and get stuff done in advance and as usual I've done absolutely nothing that I needed to do so. Yeah. I can't believe how quick the time between booking the trip and now has gone by, it seems like just yesterday that I still had 120 some odd days until the trip and now it's time to actually get ready and go!
I did finally buy a big suitcase tonight so we can start packing, so that feels like a step in the right direction.
I can't wait!
I'm so excited and feeling so overwhelmed with all the stuff I need to do. Because as usual I vowed that I would be super on top of things and get stuff done in advance and as usual I've done absolutely nothing that I needed to do so. Yeah. I can't believe how quick the time between booking the trip and now has gone by, it seems like just yesterday that I still had 120 some odd days until the trip and now it's time to actually get ready and go!
I did finally buy a big suitcase tonight so we can start packing, so that feels like a step in the right direction.
I can't wait!
5.19.2016
Health and Fitness Update
I haven't really done a lot of posting about health and fitness and weight loss and all that stuff so far this year. And the reason for that is that I'm basically stalled in those particular areas at the moment.
I started off doing really well in January. I weighed in at 190 pounds on the first of the year and kicked ass in January, I was really consistent and just did well. And I thought I could carry that momentum into the rest of the year and I was wrong.
In February I started doing yoga once a week and really enjoyed it. But February ended up being a tough month mental health wise: turning 31, my youngest sister turning 23, the anniversary of my and my ex's engagement, it really hitting me that I'm going to move out of AZ this year, etc. And I reverted back to old stress eating habits and undid all my January progress.
March and April were only a little bit better. I quite going to yoga at the end of March. And basically I didn't try at all for those months.
And now it's May and I'm still in that not caring not trying mode. I don't know why but I just can't seem to shake it, and it's extremely frustrating. I know my health is suffering. I want to lose weight so badly, and I know EXACTLY what I need to do to make that happen, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.
With my vacation coming up soon, I'm letting myself not worry about it for now. I'm going to go on my trip, have a good time, and then when I get back I'll try and re-focus on the weight loss thing. I'm not feeling super confident about it, but I at least have to tell myself I'm going to try, right?
I started off doing really well in January. I weighed in at 190 pounds on the first of the year and kicked ass in January, I was really consistent and just did well. And I thought I could carry that momentum into the rest of the year and I was wrong.
In February I started doing yoga once a week and really enjoyed it. But February ended up being a tough month mental health wise: turning 31, my youngest sister turning 23, the anniversary of my and my ex's engagement, it really hitting me that I'm going to move out of AZ this year, etc. And I reverted back to old stress eating habits and undid all my January progress.
March and April were only a little bit better. I quite going to yoga at the end of March. And basically I didn't try at all for those months.
And now it's May and I'm still in that not caring not trying mode. I don't know why but I just can't seem to shake it, and it's extremely frustrating. I know my health is suffering. I want to lose weight so badly, and I know EXACTLY what I need to do to make that happen, I just can't seem to bring myself to do it.
With my vacation coming up soon, I'm letting myself not worry about it for now. I'm going to go on my trip, have a good time, and then when I get back I'll try and re-focus on the weight loss thing. I'm not feeling super confident about it, but I at least have to tell myself I'm going to try, right?
5.18.2016
Viva Alpha Chi
This all actually happened before Alton but I haven't wanted to write about it until now.
Back on like May 6th, Theresa texted me and asked me to call her when I had a chance and was, and I quote, "ready to be new shades of angry." This completely freaked me out because Theresa and I don't really talk on the phone, we text, so I knew it had to be bad. I also had a feeling it was about our sorority, and sure enough, she had wanted to tell me that our charter had officially been pulled by the director of bands at NAU.
Honestly, this is something that's probably been a long time coming, but it still sucks and is completely unfair, and it was still unexpected. Basically Dr. Schmidt, NAU's director of bands, is a gigantic tool, and he always has been. He was D.o.B. when I was at NAU, and I never liked him. He just always gave off a douchey vive, and he's a total misogynist. When I started at NAU, the associate D.o.B. was this amazing woman (Ms. Jones) who made band a blast and really made us into a great group, and she left after 3 years because she couldn't stand working with Schmidt. She flat out said he had always made it obvious that he hated having a woman working under him, and she had enough. That was why I left marching band, actually. He was (and probably still is) a huge alcoholic and kind of known for showing up to events and rehearsals drunk.
So of course someone like that isn't going to be a big fan of an organization that promotes, supports, and celebrates women in music. He was always demeaning when I was active, always acting like TBS didn't matter and wasn't important; I remember once he suggested us having a sleepover and giving each other mani/pedis as a service project, because why would women be good for anything else, right? He's been trying for years and years to pull the charter, there were rumors about it when I was active and there have been rumors about it since I left. And with no warning, with no catalyst or significant fuck up to warrant it, he finally got his way, and the Alpha Chi chapter officially no longer exists.
The Tuesday after it happened the chapter held an outgoing sister ceremony at Marshall Lake; Theresa came into town for it, and even though it was a sad occasion, I was thrilled to get to see my BFF. A couple other alumni were up from Phoenix (including one I hadn't seen since a very awkward encounter back in 2010 when I was dating Corey), so that was . . . nice. (This isn't really related to the chapter thing, but it was nice to make peace with this little bit of my past. This girl was the last person from the Corey era drama stuff that needed to happen with and I'm glad to have done it before I move away). Anyway, the outgoing sisterhood ceremony was really beautiful, and it was so nice to meet the active chapter. I was so impressed with all of them, and I found myself wishing I'd been a more involved alumni when I'd had the chance . . . but nothing I can do about that now, so I'm not going to dwell on it. It was sad and moving but it felt so good to be out in the woods around a campfire with my sisters, singing our hymn and sharing stories about sisterhood. It had been so long since I'd experienced that, and I am very, very grateful that I got to do it again before I leave. It feels fitting that it happened as my time in Flagstaff is coming to a close. I'm sad for the girls who loved TBS and didn't get to experience it for very long, though; but I'm also proud at how few of them are going to KKPsi. (Side story: we were out at the lake until freaking midnight. I went to bed at like 1 AM and actually made it to work the next day, I was so proud of myself! I haven't pulled that kind of shit in a loooong time!).
Some of the alumni and actives are still fighting the chapter closing, there's been a petition going around online and I know a few of them have coordinated letter writing to Schmidt. At this point I'm not getting involved any further because, as upsetting as the whole thing is, I have so much bigger and more important things going on in my life than my old sorority. And maybe that makes me sound like a terrible person but I honestly don't feel all that bad. In a weird way it feels good to be so far removed from it, to feel how far my life has come from when I was active and to have made amends with TBS.
Back on like May 6th, Theresa texted me and asked me to call her when I had a chance and was, and I quote, "ready to be new shades of angry." This completely freaked me out because Theresa and I don't really talk on the phone, we text, so I knew it had to be bad. I also had a feeling it was about our sorority, and sure enough, she had wanted to tell me that our charter had officially been pulled by the director of bands at NAU.
Honestly, this is something that's probably been a long time coming, but it still sucks and is completely unfair, and it was still unexpected. Basically Dr. Schmidt, NAU's director of bands, is a gigantic tool, and he always has been. He was D.o.B. when I was at NAU, and I never liked him. He just always gave off a douchey vive, and he's a total misogynist. When I started at NAU, the associate D.o.B. was this amazing woman (Ms. Jones) who made band a blast and really made us into a great group, and she left after 3 years because she couldn't stand working with Schmidt. She flat out said he had always made it obvious that he hated having a woman working under him, and she had enough. That was why I left marching band, actually. He was (and probably still is) a huge alcoholic and kind of known for showing up to events and rehearsals drunk.
So of course someone like that isn't going to be a big fan of an organization that promotes, supports, and celebrates women in music. He was always demeaning when I was active, always acting like TBS didn't matter and wasn't important; I remember once he suggested us having a sleepover and giving each other mani/pedis as a service project, because why would women be good for anything else, right? He's been trying for years and years to pull the charter, there were rumors about it when I was active and there have been rumors about it since I left. And with no warning, with no catalyst or significant fuck up to warrant it, he finally got his way, and the Alpha Chi chapter officially no longer exists.
The Tuesday after it happened the chapter held an outgoing sister ceremony at Marshall Lake; Theresa came into town for it, and even though it was a sad occasion, I was thrilled to get to see my BFF. A couple other alumni were up from Phoenix (including one I hadn't seen since a very awkward encounter back in 2010 when I was dating Corey), so that was . . . nice. (This isn't really related to the chapter thing, but it was nice to make peace with this little bit of my past. This girl was the last person from the Corey era drama stuff that needed to happen with and I'm glad to have done it before I move away). Anyway, the outgoing sisterhood ceremony was really beautiful, and it was so nice to meet the active chapter. I was so impressed with all of them, and I found myself wishing I'd been a more involved alumni when I'd had the chance . . . but nothing I can do about that now, so I'm not going to dwell on it. It was sad and moving but it felt so good to be out in the woods around a campfire with my sisters, singing our hymn and sharing stories about sisterhood. It had been so long since I'd experienced that, and I am very, very grateful that I got to do it again before I leave. It feels fitting that it happened as my time in Flagstaff is coming to a close. I'm sad for the girls who loved TBS and didn't get to experience it for very long, though; but I'm also proud at how few of them are going to KKPsi. (Side story: we were out at the lake until freaking midnight. I went to bed at like 1 AM and actually made it to work the next day, I was so proud of myself! I haven't pulled that kind of shit in a loooong time!).
Some of the alumni and actives are still fighting the chapter closing, there's been a petition going around online and I know a few of them have coordinated letter writing to Schmidt. At this point I'm not getting involved any further because, as upsetting as the whole thing is, I have so much bigger and more important things going on in my life than my old sorority. And maybe that makes me sound like a terrible person but I honestly don't feel all that bad. In a weird way it feels good to be so far removed from it, to feel how far my life has come from when I was active and to have made amends with TBS.
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