Mentally I'm feeling much better. A weekend back on my medication and with some decent sleep has done me a world of good. I'm still not 100% (still a little anxious at times) but still, much, much better. Friday night in particular was amazing, because I took two a/d's and a Benadryl and just crashed. It was blissful to actually be able to sleep.
And Jerbs being gone wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Although I did feel bad for Max who was stuck at home with a mom who didn't particularly feel like doing anything all weekend; I pretty much just wanted to stay inside and rest. I swear Max nearly had a heart attack when we picked Jerbs up from the bus station on Sunday evening, he was just so HAPPY.
So mentally things are improving and that's awesome. I'm still pretty livid that I had to deal with this ridiculous setback at all but at the same time, I'm not going to let it define me. I won't lie, I had a few moments where the "what ifs" spiraled out of control and I worried that I'd never get my medicine and then lose my job and then my car and never get well again and that this snafu would be the unraveling of everything I'd accomplished. But that's completely not the case. And I know that, so I'm working very hard to not let it get me down. At least this time around I can say that it was absolutely not my fault at all; this had nothing to do with me being non-compliant or rebellious or in denial like I used to be, and everything to do with some stupid miscommunication between other people. At this point I don't give a shit what happened as long as it gets fixed and doesn't happen again.
As great as mental health is, I think I'm getting physically sick. I mentioned that there's some nastiness going around work right now--bronchitis or something similar. Basically a week ago today the one co-worker I absolutely despise because he is literally the most wretchedly annoying person I've ever met came to work sick. He proceeded to walk around the business office hacking like mad and never covering his mouth or using hand sanitizer (seriously, he's disgusting, and we watched). But his boss (the CEO) wouldn't send him home, and when he told him to wear a mask, the gross co-worker insisted he wasn't sick. And sure enough by Tuesday one co-worker was coughing, and by Wednesday two more were. My office mate and I shut our door, disinfected our entire office space, and crossed our fingers.
Well, today, one sick co-worker was fine, one is better, and one has a doctor's appointment tomorrow because she thinks she has pneumonia. PNEUMONIA.
So far I've managed to not get it but then this evening . . . I don't know. I'm starting to feel under the weather. I was OK until I got off work, but once I got home, all I wanted to do was go to bed. I slept through DWTS, and you know it's serious if I miss that.
All I can say is that if I'm getting sick it best be out of my system by Halloween because on November 1st I'm going to Kingman for a certain darling nephew's 5th birthday party, which I really, really don't want to miss. At the same time, I'm not going to be a dick and infect my family and a bunch of 5 year old kids with potential pneumonia. So my fingers are crossed.
And btw, it's windy as all hell and freezing and doing something like raining outside right now . . . I love this weather, sick or not!
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