His party was yesterday and he had a great time playing with his friends, jumping in the bounce house, eating cake, and opening the ton of presents everyone brought him.
I can't believe he's 4. I can't believe how much life has changed since he was born.
I ended a 5 year relationship. I lost a good job. I sank into mental illness so deeply I could barely get back out. I met the love of my life. I moved back to Kingman. I started treatment. I found a job. I lost the love of my life. And now . . . here I am.
But that's really got nothing to do with Austin.
Y'know how people say that they didn't know how much they could love someone until they were parents? That they're amazed at how quickly and completely they loved their child?
I think a slightly lesser version of that happens to aunts and uncles and grandparents, too. I have no idea what it feels like to actually be a parent so I'm not going to say it's the same. But I know that the first time I saw Austin, when he was a couple days old and just a wrinkly little baby with dark peach fuzz on his head, I loved him. My sister handed him to me and I was completely hooked. Not necessarily in a protective mama bear way--I just loved him. I remember this sense of wanting him to always be happy and healthy and comfortable and that I'd do whatever I could to make those things happen.
I love him even more now. I love that he's old enough to be my little buddy; that we have inside jokes and games and memories and a relationship. As sad as it makes me to be away from him, I'm glad he misses me and glad he remembers me.
I'll always be his aunt and his friend and his ally. Whatever he wants to do with his life I'll support and help him with all I can.
So happy birthday Saucy!! Auntica loves you more than you could imagine!
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